To be furious with the way I was treated at Zara?

[VeryAngry]

Right, so how many times have you seen women at Zara (or any other store for that matter) trying on things like jackets or coats over their shirts in front of one of the store mirrors? I see it all the time.
Do you always take a coat/jacket into the fitting room especially if it's the only thing you want to try on and there is a long cue? I doubt it.

So today at a Zara store, I was trying on a jacket over my T-shirt in front of one of the store mirrors. I was not the only one doing this, there were at least 6 other women in the same store trying on things outside the fitting room.
An extremely rude zara employee came up to me and told me that I couldn't try anything on unless I took it into the fitting room. Despite her tone and rude manner of speaking, I politely assured her that I was not interested in trying on any dresses/blouses/jeans etc., I only wanted a new jacket which I could easily try over my T-shirt. She said it was against the rules to try anything outside the fitting room "for security reasons". This was completely odd to me as I have tried on jackets on the store floor several times in zara and I've never been stopped. Nevertheless, I let it go and carried on browsing.

Not even 5 minutes later I saw a woman trying on a skirt in front of the same mirror and the same Zara employee said nothing to her. Another woman came and tried on a top and wasn't stopped either.

I was upset. Firstly, I was unaware of any such rule at any store and secondly, if such a rule did exist why was she stopping only me? Why not the others? i have no issues with such a rule as long as it is enoforced on everyone and not selectively.

I approached the employee and asked her why she didn't stop the lady who had tired on the skirt and jacket on the shop floor instead of the fitting room, if it was indeed against the rules. She started addressing me very rudely and began a torrent of arguments saying it was for "security reasons". Now this befuddles me! Do the "security reasons" apply only to me? Did I look like a thief to her? I told her I didn't appreciate her tone and that she had no business speaking to me so rudely. She even snapped "Do you want the clothes or not?" I asked her to explain herself calmly and politely. Instead, she said that if I didn't "stop", she was going to call security . I was fuming by now. I told her to go right ahead and call security. While she did that, I asked another employee that I wanted to speak to the manager.
Throughout this time, people kept trying on various items of clothing on the shop floor and nobody stopped them. I thought this was blatant discrimination.

The manager was completely unhelpful and she wouldn't even give me the employee's name so that I could lodge a complaint. She kept saying she would have to see the CCTV footage herself before she could take any action. This was extremely insulting because it made me feel like I was some kind of liar- which I most certainly am not.
I told her I wanted an apology from the woman who spoke to me so rudely and insulted me in front of other customers. She said she couldn't arrange that unless she had heard the employee's side of the story. She told me that if I was that keen on taking action I could wait until the store closed. This was at 4pm. Zara closes at 9pm at westfields on a saturday. Interestingly, not once did she confirm that the employee was right and that zara did have any such rule regarding where jackets could be tried on.

What galls me is that all this time women kept trying on clothes in the store instead of the fitting room and and nobody said a word to them. I have been shopping at Zara for years now and never before have I been made aware of this rule.

The OP was upset, fuming and galled at a simple request Sinister (love the name), shop assistants don't get paid enough to have to put up with that at work.

Who tries on skirts in the middle of a shop?

You must have shifty eyes.

But Sinister, I'd either have thought 'yeah, I bet they do get loads of jackets just casually walked out with - I'll use the changing room - fair enough' or 'This assistant is being a dick. I'll shop somewhere else', depending on how rude I thought she was in the first place.

It's just a bit OTT to go back for 'round two' based on the assistant's subsequent interactions with other people...

Actually, if the other woman was trying on a skirt...well, it's a lot easier to 'absent mindedly' wander out with a jacket you haven't paid for over your t-shirt, than an extra skirt! Plus jackets generally more expensive. They may just have had some directive from HO about keeping an extra eye on jacket triers-on, if stocktaking shows that they tend to get nicked more than other items.

Are you bigger than a size 8 by any chance? IME Zara staff are scathing as fuck to anybody bigger that stick insect.

AgentZigZag
You said-
"I'm not meaning this in a shitty way Angry, but the bottom line is it was their coat and they asked you to try it on in the changing room of their shop.

That's a reasonable thing for them to ask.

I know it seems unfair, but what the other people trying stuff on were doing isn't anything to do with what they were saying to you.

Having worked in a shop you must know that if you've seen 10 people leg off with clothes then you're going to try and avoid that if it's possible.

It's not nice you feel insulted by what they said to you, but if you'd just said 'OK ' it wouldn't have escalated."

Let me try to understand what you are saying.

If other people are trying on the same jacket on the shop floor standing right next to me, but I'm the only one rudely told not to "get to the fitting room", it has nothing to do with me? How?!

Obviously it is their jacket and not mine unless I pay for it, but are you honestly expecting that I should have said OK to such blatant discrimination?
FWIW, that's exactly what I did say at the onset, until about three more ladies started doing the same thing at the same spot and were not asked to stop.

I did not angrily confront the employee, I approached her normally and requested her to clarify the rules. As a customer I have the right to do that.

YANBU

I would have done exactly the same thing as you and kicked up a fuss. In fact, I would probably have been escorted off the premises and barred. Some shop assistants just nark me

I would have asked her what the mirror was there for, if not for looking at things you are trying on. YANBU.

YANBU

I do this and I try things on without bothering whether or not the assistant has given me a ticket to enter the changing room.

Some nark me off as well tbf Crispy, I was just being charitable

I've worked in shops and I've been an arsey customer so I can see both sides.

It's not nice having to deal with someone who's pissed off at something you've been told to do by your manager, and even though the OP has every right to question their policies, It's. Just. A. Shop.

Nothing to really get riled over IMO, that's not saying get a grip, but more get it in perspective.

AgentZigzag

You need to really read the post more carefully before you start accusing the wrong people of being a nightmare.

When the rude salesgirl initially asked me not to try on ^anything* on the shop floor, she didn't frame it as a request- it was a needlessly rude, and scathing order. Nonetheless, as someone pointed out, it was their jacket after all, so I said nothing at all despite being taken aback. If I haven't even said anything by this point, how do you reckon I scared her off?!

However, when barely a few minutes later, three more ladies started trying on the same jackets at the same spot and were not stopped, I was rightly confused. When another girl pulled on skirt after skirt over her tights in front of the mirror, and was not stopped (even though she was in clear view of the salesgirls), I realised that the policy could not have changed if others were being allowed to try things on outside the fitting room.

As a customer I had the right to a clarification when I was clearly being discriminated against for whatever reasons. I approached her and requested her to clarify what the policy was and asked her why the other ladies were not being stopped from doing the same thing I had.
Before I could even finish, she started a torrent of angry, and rude words in a raised voice which got other customers to stop and stare in horror.
I was shocked that someone in a shop would actually speak to a customer like that, especially since I had been extremely civil with her. Given her tone and given her rude attitude, I requested her to calm down and speak in a normal tone of voice instead of yelling at me for no reason. How is that patronising? When someone is rude and scathing and insulting with you for no reason at all, do you not request them to calm down and speak to you respectfully?

If a customer asks for a clarification of the store policy and asks why she is being treated differently from other customers, do you think it is good work ethic to raise your voice at her and threaten to call security instead of offering a valid clarification?

I've tried to say it in a nice way, but fucking hell don't be starting on me VeryAngry.

I think you were being unreasonable to get so upset about a simple request, that's my answer.

Like it, don't like it, makes no odds to me.

I've had that happen to me in Zara. It was only me trying on something, though, so I gave in, as you did.

I think you were well within your rights to ask why the policy only applied to you.

She sounds like a very rude person. Quite possibly in the wrong job.

However, I am currently several thousand miles from the nearest Zara, and would happily be bollocked by any number of snippy assistants to be able to shop there.... if that helps

I doubt there is, or needs to be, a policy as such re: where customers are allowed to try things on. It'll be down to the staff's discretion.

You aren't being 'discriminated' against unless you are distinguished from the customers who weren't being asked to use the changing rooms, in a way that is disablist, racist etc.

The assistant just thought you looked dodgy! Which is either insulting, or quite funny, depending on how seriously you choose to take it.

If she raised her voice & created a scene, whilst you were totally polite & measured, then email head office & complain. She'll probably get told off.

It's quite likely, though, that the store's version will involve a stroppy customer who closely resembled a description they have of a local shoplifter, spoke aggressively to a staff member & harangued the manager.

Honestly, what are you hoping to achieve? Sod 'em. Just chalk it up to experience & don't shop there again.

AgentZigZag
Not that your opinion matters much to me, but i will still say something.

A "simple request" is not spoken rudely and doesn't make the other person feel like they are being snapped at and insulted. There is a way of speaking and a tone of voice that polite people generally use. I am sure you are familiar with the basic rules of etiquette.

As I said, i had nothing against the "simple request". I did however take objection to the discrimination. If you are allowing everyone else to do something and rudely stopping only me from doing the same, you bloody well have a good reason for it.

"I doubt there is, or needs to be, a policy as such re: where customers are allowed to try things on. It'll be down to the staff's discretion."

If it is down to staff discretion, then the staff shouldn't claim it's store policy. For that matter sale of items can also be down to staff discretion. So imagine this scenario- everyone is allowed to buy a particular pair of jeans but the store refuses to sell it to you. They may be within their rights to that, but would you just accept it? Would it not be considered discrimination?

"You aren't being 'discriminated' against unless you are distinguished from the customers who weren't being asked to use the changing rooms, in a way that is disablist, racist etc. "

How do you know it wasn't racist? I don't recall revealing my ethnicity or that of the other ladies who weren't stopped. And how do you know it wasn't about disability?
In any case, the definition of discrimination isn't limited to gender, race and disability. If everyone is allowed to do something and you aren't, that too for reasons which are withheld from you then that is discrimination. I don't see how it isn't.

"The assistant just thought you looked dodgy! Which is either insulting, or quite funny, depending on how seriously you choose to take it."

It is insulting. How do you define a dodgy customer? Is it based on the colour of skin? Or the kind of clothes? Or the accent? Or just the face?
It can only be based on superficial things like that can't it? And in my book it is appalling to make judgements about people based solely on their appearance and/or ethnicity.

I think it was stupid more than anything. I hate talking like this and I am sorry to sound so vulgar but I have a point, so bear with me. My purse alone cost me £800, and being in the fashion business I am sure she knew that. Did she really think I would steal a £30 jacket?

YABU - for actually fitting into their clothes!!!

YANBU - for getting annoyed. If other customers were trying on stuff as well but she only spoke to you about it; then i would have instantly thought, 'right, she thinks i look like a shoplifter' & been VERY insulted.

I once got followed by an over-zealous (or very bored) security guard in Boots. Except i forgot he was following me & stepped backwards straight onto his feet.

I would have been a bit annoyed but I think you are overeacting. You sound v stressed about what is actually a trivial matter. I would try not to take things so personally if I were you, it will make life a lot less irksome for you :)

You spent £800 on a purse ???

have to say, you've lost me there. If you have that kind of money to fling around then you have nothing to complain about!

YANBU I would have been annoyed too. I would have been tempted to get my phone out and video the other customers and the shop assistant as evidence.

OP - A low paid shop assistant would be unlikely to even afford to buy the type of magazines that advertise £800 purses.

If she did recognise the designer then she probably thought your purse was a fake.
Because people who work in low paid jobs are rarely friends with people who own properly expensive designer items & find it hard to believe that a real life normal looking woman would actually carry an £800 purse.

(No offence to any low paid workers who do own, or have lots of friends who own, expensive designer items worth nearly £1K).

You are fussing about nothing! You thought they were rude, you threw your toys out of the pram & harangued some unfortunate shop staff. You haven't lost anything, apart from being made to look like a bit of a madam.

I don't know that you weren't discriminated against on grounds of race or disability, since I wasn't there & I have no idea of your ethnicity or any disabilities you might have. You were there - do you think either of those was the reason?

Judging a 'dodgy' customer isn't necessarily going to be based on skin/accent/clothes. It's far more likely that they've just been told to 'keep an eye on the jackets'. Or you may have a looky-likey on the staffroom shoplifters' wall of shame.

I've no idea whether owning a £800 purse makes you less likely to shoplift. Maybe they thought you'd nicked that, too. .

To be fair, I had a bus driver accuse me of diddling him out of 20p last year, & I was furious & dashed off a very cross letter to the bus company. I get the being enraged because you've been treated with a lack of respect & your honesty impugned!

But you should've just made a measured complaint to the manager/head office - all this confronting the staff member, demanding her name & demanding apologies is just going to have made you look slightly nuts.

YANBU to get annoyed. YABU to let it occupy so much brain space - why didn't you just take your custom somewhere else?

When I worked in retail as a student, the mantra was that the customer is always right so even if customers were rude and challenging, you had to be polite in return. So the Zara employee was wrong to get aggressive with you and threaten to call security. She could have just apologized and explained the policy to you (e.g they don't like people trying on jackets because it's too easy to walk out of shop with one on) or called her manager to deal with it.

You can't just fly off the handle with a customer and if you do challenge a customer on something, you have to politely do so e.g. 'sorry, can I help you get a changing room for that item? I know the fitting rooms are busy so let me help you out' etc rather than treating the customer like s presumed shoplifter.

They sound unprofessional and poorly trained but to be honest half the staff on the high street retail stores are so it's no surprise. I just tend to walk away from these situations and leave them to it. It's not worth stressing over.

You'll have lost most everyone after admitting that you spent £800 on a purse. I honestly cannot imagine having that kind of disposable income, or, if you don't, making spending £800 on a purse a priority.

Saying you spent $800 on a purse so you wouldn't dream of stealing a jacket that cost £30 makes you sound like an entitled snob, IMO.

However, rich or poor, nobody should be treated rudely. And I would have questioned the double standard as well if no one else was asked to use a change room.

Definitely write a formal letter of complaint to head office. Include the names (I know you didn't get one of them so describe the assistant) in the letter.