Recently a friend died. She was the mother of one of my son's classmates and had been ill with cancer for some time. We used to be good friends , but we moved away from the school for two years and when we returned so had her cancer and she was somewhat reclusive of course. Also our ds were not as close. However I wrote my friend several notes saying how much I was thinking of her and asked about her frequently. She did not want visits.
When she died I wanted to go to her funeral. Once I found out the details of it Imsent a text to three of my friends giving them the details. one of them, let's call her A, sent a text back saying that the funeral was for close friends and family only,sorry, meaning I should not go. I was hurt but texted back that ok, I wouldn't attend?
However, the day before the funeral I phoned the widower and asked if I could attend. He said that I would be really welcome, must come back to the house and he thought that he had invited me already. So I went. The funeral was very well attended, lots of people there including our headmaster, teachers and lots of other people who were certainly not close friends or family.
On the way out I found myself behind A, and said hello to her. She stood with her back to me and said hello. I said hello again, she said she did not want to speak to me, so I said "that's a bit rude" "rude! Rude! You're rude for being here" she said, then she said" just get away from me".
I was really really upset . I did not go back to the house, but a friend of mine did and asked her why she had been so unkind and she said that she had been lost in thought when I spoke to her and she was now sorry. Although I did not believe her explanation i sent A a text saying that she had hurt me and that I had been at the funeral at the invitation of the widower, but I have heard nothing back.
I am so upset about this as I do not know why I in particular should be singled out for her disapproval and not the others who were there. More particularly though, I do not know how I should react when I next see her? Ignore her? Glare? Try to discuss the matter?
Your advice much appreciated. Can't sleep