There is no excuse for unplanned pregnancy when contraception is readily available

[HoneyDragonWearingLederhosen]

Am I really that unreasonable to get a little narked by that turn of phrase and think its only used by really, really pious people? The sort of people who on hearing you are pregnant ask whether the child was planned before offering congratulations.

And the face and bemused really face, if you say "yes, I was taking it properly, yes I am aware some medications affect it".

BTW I am not horribly offended by people saying this,just as I said narked. It says on any literature you get with any contraception that it may fail. And secretly I believe failure statistics are a lot higher than those quoted on the packet

AIBU to correct the phrase to "There is no excuse for unplanned pregnancy as long as you stay at least 10 foot away from any uncontrolled sperms", next time I hear this helpful nugget of wisdom?

It appeared while I was typing Hecate :)

And the stats actually mean that, even if the pill is used properly, a woman who has sex 100 times in a year has a 1% chance if falling pregnant. NO contraceptive has a 100% success rate.

YANVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU.

My very much loved DS was unplanned. Me and then DF(iance) were looking to buy somewhere and children were on the agenda.

I was on the pill - took it religiously. I had an ear infection and AB. I was told they don't affect the pill and was on my break and therefore period at the time anyway.

We had sex after my period ended because my dad was coming to stay and we knew it would be another week if we didn't squeeze it in!.

After I felt worried about pregnancy and protection. I was 2 days into the pill after the break.

I took the emergency contraceptive pill after speaking to the pharmacist.

3 weeks later, break in pill arrived, period did not. BFP did.

DS is now 7, unplanned but very much wanted and loved.

Cardymow - tried durex? I'm not being rude but personally if I'd been that unsuccessful with hormonal methods I'd use a backup unless I wasn't bothered about getting pg. Did your ds really come out holding it?!

Scholes34 - agree there it's not the end of the world or anything I think I get annoyed with the 'oh woe is me' type

Sorry YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU. (the not sneaked in there )

The OP's being unreasonable to think that people are unreasonable for talking like there's no such thing as unplanned pregnancy due to contraceptive failure, youarekidding?

Regardless of planning or not planning, the question should be: are you happy about it?

Although usually, people who announce their pregnancy are, but just in case, before offering congratulations and then having a diatribe about how it was only discovered too late and the person doesn't want the baby.

I am pregnant and it wasnt planned, just a result of DP and I being careless 1 time, didnt take the morning after pill as it was just after my period and I thought at 40 i was too old - the midwife laughed at that.

But, it is nobody elses business, me and DP will raise the child and provide financially for it, and if anybody in RL said anything to me about the contraception side of things they would be getting the sharp end of my elbow in their ribs

Close friends know it the baby is unplanned but after the shock wore off we are happy and quite excited about it,

i was on the pill for 7 years before it failed and i got pregnant with dd, should you also take the map if you are on the pill then? just in case?

I agree with DinahMo - why should we have to excuse it anyway?

I really hate the snooty attitude some people have - I'm not talking about unplanned pregnancies at a very young age (though I hate it when people get needlessly judgy about those too). But I don't follow the stigma against unplanned pregnancies when we're talking about adult couples. Loads of people do not exactly plan to have a baby, but leave it a little bit up to chance. If that works for them, what is the issue?

DS is the result of lots of sex

..What kind of person asks if your child was planned or not?

...Is my response.

That's it Lueji

Thing is people who have fallen whilst taking contraception correctly will never agree with the likes of myself that it's user error, 13yrs on and off I was fine on the pill, 4 months ttc and I'm pg for the first time ever.

To me the bottom line is if you don't want a baby use the pill/injection and accept that there's a tiny failure rate (even if took correctly) if your still worried use a condom too then if you still get pg if your unhappy it's your choice to have it or not

Well, a lot of people asked me that, because I was single, late 30s and had previously said I didn't want DC. I didn't really mind (though I was rather at the people who asked me if I was going to have an abortion, my response to that tended to be, if I was, why the fuck would I be telling you I'm PG?)

And DS, much as I love him, was a big surprise to me. OK, was careless and didn;t use contraception but I was fairly convinced I was infertile and perimenopausal. And that I was in the safe part of my cycle, as well. How wrong can one woman be?

I'm one of those slags that got pg in my mid 20s outside of a relationship with a guy I barely knew. I could write a book about the differences in reaction I got compared to married friends who announced their pregnancies.

Lucie - takes two to tango! Another thing that bugs the hell out of me is why the woman always gets the blame it's a joint responsibility?

I have a 7 year old boy after a failed contraception and a failed MAP. Go figure.

Bloody well glad they DID fail now though.

DS2 was planned however. The only thing I find that works for me, is the Mirena Coil. My memory is too shite to rely solely on the pill.

We got drunk and used nothing. Couldn't really care less what people thought.

DD was conceived while I was on the pill and taking it religiously. Obviously it didn't occur to me to take the Morning After Pill and by the time I realised I was pregnant I was 8 weeks down the line.

Best unplanned thing I ever ever did

All the ones going on about user error, have a look at this: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_birth_control_methods#Comparison_table

Typical use is allowing for errors, perfect use shows the built-in failure rate of that method of contraception. So sensuallettuce you are talking rubbish.

YANBU. All forms of contraception can occasionally fail. Even sterilisation operations can occasionally fail.

And I agree the more important question is: are you happy about the pregnancy.

the people i know who've had unplanned pregnancies have later said that their contraceptive failure was actually a failure to use contraception. i wonder if that's in the remit of typical use.

I was taking the pill perfectly when I fell pregnant with dd3. No tummy bug, no medication, no missed pills, no late pills etc... still fell pregnant at the ripe age of 38. Have a gorgeous third daughter as a result, so very happy with that.
I have Mirena now, but am still aware that no contraception is 100%. I took it for granted that contraception wouldn't fail on me, until it did.

And people frequently get pregnant and have an early miscarriage which they don't even notice, so you can't say for sure you've never been pregnant before. Especially if you use a hormonal method or coil, as these may prevent proper implantation.