There is no excuse for unplanned pregnancy when contraception is readily available

[HoneyDragonWearingLederhosen]

Am I really that unreasonable to get a little narked by that turn of phrase and think its only used by really, really pious people? The sort of people who on hearing you are pregnant ask whether the child was planned before offering congratulations.

And the face and bemused really face, if you say "yes, I was taking it properly, yes I am aware some medications affect it".

BTW I am not horribly offended by people saying this,just as I said narked. It says on any literature you get with any contraception that it may fail. And secretly I believe failure statistics are a lot higher than those quoted on the packet

AIBU to correct the phrase to "There is no excuse for unplanned pregnancy as long as you stay at least 10 foot away from any uncontrolled sperms", next time I hear this helpful nugget of wisdom?

And do it standing up, that works.

Maybe some sort of Klaxon microship so an alarm goes of from your fanny if a sperm gets passed your cervix? Then off to the chemist in the morning for MAP.

Also excellent way for neighbours to judge you when they hear an Airhorn go off in the small hours.

It depends on the situation I guess as to whether people would ask if its planned or not (not that its necessarily ok to ask in any situation of course) but many people asked my friend who is expecting DC3 (for some reason people assume 2 is planned but 3 possibly unplanned??)

In my situation with DS1 many people also asked as I had only been with my partner a VERY short time when I fell pregnant, I had split up with XH very soon before and also had been told I was unable to have children without fertility treatment so I wasn't being careful.

It was still only kind of unplanned as we both knew there was a small chance it could happen and was just a bit careless.

I also was asked numerous times who's it was as we got together very soon after splitting up with XH - a bit rude to ask IMO regardless of the circumstances and in my situation it wasn't like me and XH were actually having sex due to the fact we were on the verge of splitting up anyway so there was a fairly big gap! In fact XH actually asked me as well - well that would have been a bloody long pregnancy!!!

With my DC5 the condom split and the MAP didn't work.

And a chastity belt.

I suppose it depends on what people mean by a pregnancy being "unplanned", or an accident. I have friends who got pregnant "by accident", but the truth is they weren't that fussed about whether they got pregnant or not, which is 50% TTC, or at least being open to the idea of pregnancy, to me.

When I wasn't ready for a baby yet, I took my pill religiously at the same time every day (set an alarm on my phone) AND used condoms. If I'd forgotten a pill, a condom had split, I'd been ill or taken medication, I'd have got the morning after pill, or abstained. So I think that if you really DON'T want a baby, there are definitely ways to cover all possible "accidents".

You might be right there. When I was shagging about single I never had an accident or a pregnancy scare. After the first 3 years with DH I might have taken my eye of the ball. But I was on the pill and didn't miss it or anything like that. Maybe your body has the power to override attempts at preventing what's meant to be .

But then DS2 took almost 2 years of trying. Weird.

If I was with a new guy there is no way I'd let him near me without a condom on anyway (and I have a Mirena) - not unless he'd been checked out at the local GUM clinic.

Interesting as I had always believed that contraception failed from time to time
So much so that I was convinced that I must be infertile after 20 years with DH using a variety of methods of contraception and no accidents.
One month after deciding to try and conceive I was proved wrong. So I'm now inclined to think what purplefairies said.

There is no 100% safe method. That sperm
Wants to get to that egg - fighting nature is quite challenging. Having had an unplanned preg myself I can totally see how people feel amazed it has happened!

If the pill was that unreliable it wouldn't be prescribed to millions of women the world over.

The majority of failure is user error tho if using condoms only and they rip due to being put on incorrectly a woman has 3 days to take the morning after pill so if they didn't want to get pg why didn't they take it?

We've just conceived our first (5 weeks) and at 30 this is the first time Ive ever been pg, I've always took my pill at the exact same time everyday and abstained when on antibiotics so to me yanbu. I know 4 couples who planned their children, my parents and me and dp being two of them.

On another note (not directed at anyone) Some attitudes towards contraception are scary, along with unplanned/unwanted pregnancies people don't seem to be afraid of catching the clap herpes or aids etc, I've lost count of the times I've heard 'we were both drunk so forgot to use a condom' no you didn't forget how can anyone 'forget' to protect themselves from deadly diseases? It's just irresponsibility and poor excuses.

YANBU.

If you're in a position in which you REALLY don't want a child with the person you are having sex with, or now is a bad time in your life, then you can definitely make sure it doesn't happen!

Pill + condom (both used correctly) = have fun with no worries :)

(Though to be honest I have always felt safe just using one or the other, and have never gotten pregnant!)

I know someone who's just announced a pregnancy.

She'd made it known she was broody and really wanted kids, is with a partner she intends to marry at some point...she says her pregnancy is an accident, and I'm not inclined to believe that - I think it's more a case of they knew they wanted a family and were lax half on purpose.

Pinkie29 Fri 08-Jun-12 10:26:06
"If the pill was that unreliable it wouldn't be prescribed to millions of women the world over."

Surely they prescribe it because it's the best they've got rather than because it is perfect? The perfect usage failure rate of the pill is estimated at 0.3 %, which is a good deal better than not using a contraceptive at all, but still means 3 users out of 1000 get pregnant. And that is with perfect use, i.e. not on medication and taken at the correct times.

Same here Paiviaso

A friend once said 'I didn't have a choice in having a baby' well you did you chose to be lazy about contraception (she admitted being sick shortly after taking her pill and didn't bother taking another or using a condom)

And at the risk of being tarred and feathered here every woman has the right to end a pregnancy if she doesn't want a child, my friend chose not to despite protesting she hated being pg and didn't want a baby

It happens. I was on the pill when I got pregnant with my second. Once he was there, he was there! A post conception contraceptive was not my choice.

People think contraceptives are 100% effective - they're not. Even used correctly, they're not. Even a vasectomy / having your tubes tied has a small failure rate!

There are only 2 100% foolproof methods

1. removal of the ovaries/womb
2. not having sex (or penis near vagina foreplay

that's it. Everything else has a small failure rate.

There aren't any post conception contraceptives .

Cory there's no guarantee the 0.3% took it perfectly? A tummy bug, d&v virus medications can all cause the pill not to work and its worrying when women say 'i didn't know antibiotics stopped
It' i mean don't people read instructions??

I honestly thought something was wrong with me as almost every woman I know either has a child unfortunately had an mc or ended an unplanned pregnancy but the proof is in the pudding I was just exceptionally careful all these years

Yes I realised that once I'd posted. I meant options. I don't know why I typed contraceptives

I have fallen pregnant on Microgynon pill, taken properly as I was 15yo and my Granny stood over me every morning till I'd taken it. (DD)

I have fallen pregnant just 3 weeks into a DepoProvera injection that was meant to last 12 weeks. (DS1).

I have fallen pregnant on the Mirena coil. (DS2, he came out holding it ).

I have fallen pregnant with the implant that goes in your arm and is meant to last 5 years. It had only been in for 2.5 yrs at that point). (The baby was SB at 6 mo, due to other reasons).

I have fallen pregnant using a combination of : condoms (It split), Celeste pill, AND the morning after pill. (DS3).

No, hormonal contraception doesn't work for everybody, even if used perfectly, someone has to be in the 1-2% that it doesn't work for.

I'm now on a waiting list to be sterilised!!

YANBU

People who say that clearly don't understand statistics.

A post conception contraceptive was not my choice.

Huh? Contradiction in terms. A contraceptive is a thing that stops conception. You can't stop something once it has already happened.

Not all unplanned pregnancies are a problem. A large majority are very welcome. When is the right time to plan a pregnancy for? Income, the housing market, jobs, age when starting school, etc? You could spend forever planning for the right time, as the biological clock quickly moves on.

see my second post trills

Well I am sat here pregnant after just taking a test.

Been on microgynon for three years. Never missed a day, always taken at the same time of morning.

Am currently 33, unemployed and married to a mature full time student who is just about to leave uni and will also then be unemployed until he finds work. so I am awaiting the shit to hit the fan.