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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DP caused this argument and he's a knob

334 replies

CharlieBitMe · 07/06/2012 12:31

DP and I are moving in together in two weeks. He's suddenly decided that my kids need more "discipline" and "structure" so on the 4 nights a week he stays with us he's attempted to lay the law down about us having a "games night" Hmm where we play a board game and insisted that we all sit at the table to eat dinner. I'm really not happy about him trying to lay the law down like this and we had a small row about it and I said I would compromise by trying the meal at the table and would offer the kids the board game thing but not insist on it. So we're sat down at the table and it was really awkward and false. DP had "dressed for dinner" which I found absolutely hilarious and he tries starting shit conversations which all sounded so corny and sitcomish.
DS said something about "oh god, we're becomming one of those geeky families that think they're better than everyone else because they're smug" and DP snapped "well maybe it's about time you were aware of how you come across to others, there is nothing wrong with sitting at the table for a meal".
He was obviously implying that the kids had been dragged up and so I snapped and said he looked like a total dork in his "dinner wear" and he should stop thinking he was something wasn't. DS burst out laughing and DP snapped back "well if I'm a dork, you're a fishwife". DS again burst out laughing and I laughed along, it was quite funny. The dork and the fishwife. DP however sulked that it wasn't funny and he was just trying to be civilised "for once". For a laugh I agreed with him and asked DS to pass the caviare so DS flicked a load of mash at DP. It went all down his suit and I did tell him off and said he'd gone too far but DP was furious and stormed upstairs saying we were all beyond help.

AIBU to think that despite DS being naughty, the whole thing was caused by DP?

OP posts:
bogeyface · 07/06/2012 18:07

If your idea of bringing up a child properly is to allow them to show absolutely no respect for the home of a person who is sharing it with them, or for the person themselves then I would say the "dragged up" comment isnt far from the truth.

You sound horrible, and I would advise him to dump you and your appallingly behaved DC asap.

noobydoo · 07/06/2012 18:12

OP - eating together is one of the nice things about being part of a family and also a couple. Personally, I feel you and your children should make the effort with your partner to have an evening meal properly with him without taking the piss. What you did was hurtful when it was intended to be a gesture to spend time together - most people would love this sort of characteristic in a partner.

If you love him then you should care about his feelings and have an evening together to do things properly.

vincettenoir · 07/06/2012 18:15

I don't think yabu or that he is bu. But you want different things and have different values. Its not easy to see why you think it is a good idea to move in together.

Nancy66 · 07/06/2012 18:16

It sounds like:

You hate him
He hates your kids
Your kids hate him back.

Why the hell would you want to live together?

Frontpaw · 07/06/2012 18:21

Has he got kids? I 'get' what he is trying to do - family sit down for meal and play some games together. You should have discussed it before - so not a 'formal dress' dinner but maybe a 'proper' sunday roast then walk the dogs/watch a family movie or play team xbox or wii?

Its nice for families to spend time together when they can just chat or hang out together.

ZillionChocolate · 07/06/2012 18:28

He's a knob, you're a knob, you're both knobs. Whatever. Surely you can see that you're just incompatible?

Frontpaw · 07/06/2012 18:32

What do you suppose a collective of knobs is?

mynewpassion · 07/06/2012 18:39

I think this backfired on the OP as most people disagree with her and her son's attitude about eating dinner around a table as a family.

ComposHat · 07/06/2012 18:40

A circle jerk of knobs?

handbagCrab · 07/06/2012 18:52

An ejaculate of knobs?

lovebunny · 07/06/2012 18:53

do not move in with this freak no matter what he pays you.

he might be wonderful. but he's not the wonderful you want.

OhNoMyFanjo · 07/06/2012 19:06

Ditto the other 250+ comments

sugarice · 07/06/2012 19:09

Me and dh always eat our meals on a tray in front of the telly, bite me Wink as he doesn't get in til 6 then our tea at 7ish depending on cooking. The boys always eat theirs at the table in the dining room Wink with me beside them chatting earlier at around 5.30 -6.00 and we keep the telly on while they're eating,ooh double bite me Grin

Catsu · 07/06/2012 19:32

I thought it was a reverse aibu at first as it's so obvious to me that the op is being unreasonable!!
Your dp suggested eating at the table and having a games night, which are normal, good things for most people and you ripped the piss our of him and laughed when your ds behaved like a little brat!

You and ds both sound extremely lacking in manners. No good will come of you moving ib with a dp you clearly have no respect for!

Moominsarescary · 07/06/2012 19:47

Knobbers maybe?

GnocchiNineDoors · 07/06/2012 19:54

A Thrust of Knobs

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/06/2012 20:00

An underpant of knobs, obviously.

OP, I am another person who cannot understand what is wrong with your DP wanting to sit down for a meal or play board games with your family. Honestly, you DS does sound rude and like he has no manners. You all sound like you hate each other. Please don't move in together.

JoanOfNark · 07/06/2012 20:20

if your kitchen is too small, you can usually fit a small table in the living room. We have had one rather than a large sofa, we saw it as more important.

Either way, choosing to eat off the floor when you have an available table, thats just unreal.

lalaland3008 · 07/06/2012 20:30

Purely going from your op I think yabu.

Nothing wrong at all with a games night and everyone should eat at the table most of the time imo. Your son sounds a bit cheeky too.

Although going by other posters there is obviously a bit of background.

claudedebussy · 07/06/2012 20:32

i can see why you're moving in together.

you can look forward to a lifetime of happiness.

complexnumber · 07/06/2012 20:36

An underpant of knobs, obviously.

Can we have a knicker of knobs as well?

bogeyface · 07/06/2012 21:45

Isnt it a knicker of twats?

sugarice · 07/06/2012 21:50

After reading all three of your posts complaining about this man I am left wondering are you trying to humiliate and crush him. First thread was about alienating him from his Mother, second one was about restricting his hobby of keeping fit as it pissed you off and this one is stopping him integrating him into your family. Clearly you hate him.

Rabbitee · 07/06/2012 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Serenitysutton · 07/06/2012 22:05

I can't stop laughing at the amount of times mash has autocorrected to lash in this thread