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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DP caused this argument and he's a knob

334 replies

CharlieBitMe · 07/06/2012 12:31

DP and I are moving in together in two weeks. He's suddenly decided that my kids need more "discipline" and "structure" so on the 4 nights a week he stays with us he's attempted to lay the law down about us having a "games night" Hmm where we play a board game and insisted that we all sit at the table to eat dinner. I'm really not happy about him trying to lay the law down like this and we had a small row about it and I said I would compromise by trying the meal at the table and would offer the kids the board game thing but not insist on it. So we're sat down at the table and it was really awkward and false. DP had "dressed for dinner" which I found absolutely hilarious and he tries starting shit conversations which all sounded so corny and sitcomish.
DS said something about "oh god, we're becomming one of those geeky families that think they're better than everyone else because they're smug" and DP snapped "well maybe it's about time you were aware of how you come across to others, there is nothing wrong with sitting at the table for a meal".
He was obviously implying that the kids had been dragged up and so I snapped and said he looked like a total dork in his "dinner wear" and he should stop thinking he was something wasn't. DS burst out laughing and DP snapped back "well if I'm a dork, you're a fishwife". DS again burst out laughing and I laughed along, it was quite funny. The dork and the fishwife. DP however sulked that it wasn't funny and he was just trying to be civilised "for once". For a laugh I agreed with him and asked DS to pass the caviare so DS flicked a load of mash at DP. It went all down his suit and I did tell him off and said he'd gone too far but DP was furious and stormed upstairs saying we were all beyond help.

AIBU to think that despite DS being naughty, the whole thing was caused by DP?

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 07/06/2012 14:24

You AND your DP sound like knobs to be honest. There has obviously been no communication or discussion about how this whole thing is going to work. I predict huge problems not very far down the line.

FWIW your son does sound extremely rude and badly behaved and you are doing him no favours. But then he's clearly learned it from you. Stick with just the two of you; you'll be happier in the long run.

badtasteflump · 07/06/2012 14:25

Oh bugger I really don't want to read the whole thread to fill in the bits - I have work to do Blush

Can someone tell me what the old thread was where the OP has already been told to get rid of him, and what is the owl thing and the boxroom poster?

DuelingFanjo · 07/06/2012 14:25

yes, Reality, I felt the same.

AnyoneForTennis · 07/06/2012 14:26

I was also thinking boxroom.... Slightly different scenario, but still similiar!!

Hullygully · 07/06/2012 14:27

No no don't suggest it is related to La Chambre de Boite. We'll lose it with all its mash and feathred glory.

manicbmc · 07/06/2012 14:27

The old thread was about the dp living in his own place but his mother taking care of all his money/bills pretty much and how she tried to impose her thoughts and financial advice on the OP.

cory · 07/06/2012 14:29

Badtaste:

Old thread:

OP asked advice as she is due to move in with her dp and her MIL still has control of his finances and is now proceeding to dictate to her where she should shop/do her hair/register with a doctor.

Owl: churlish behaviour of dp at the owl sanctuary (pushing past other children in the queue on behalf of OPs ds)

boxroom: missed this troll

TantrumsAndBalloons · 07/06/2012 14:29

What's the box room about?????

I want to know :)

handbagCrab · 07/06/2012 14:30

Is this a plot for a crap sitcom? :)

Op, why would you want to move in with a man you neither like or respect? Does he bring joy to your life? Doesn't sound like it...

JodieHarshHasALumpyPennie · 07/06/2012 14:31

Aaah, gotcha Manic. I missed t'other thread.

I do think some people positively thrive on this shit.

This reminds me of when I, as a child from an exceptionally prim and proper family, used to see snatches of Eastenders at friends' houses. I used to sit with my jaw on the floor at all the shouting and swearyness and uncouthery, and people wearing artificial fibres and eating with their mouth open and being Badly Behaved at big family events.

Am a TOTAL pearl clutcher clearly Hmm

JodieHarshHasALumpyPennie · 07/06/2012 14:31

Argh! Handbag! Hilair crossed post Grin

badtasteflump · 07/06/2012 14:31

Thank youmanic and cory Smile

Any takers on the boxroom?

AnyoneForTennis · 07/06/2012 14:32

Boxroom isn't a troll as such though

Hullygully · 07/06/2012 14:32

Oh the boxroom was just fab. People did thing properly in those days.

Hullygully · 07/06/2012 14:33

s

cory · 07/06/2012 14:33

the boxroom is a little trickier (even if I knew the tale) because relating it would pretty well amount to suggesting that the OP is also a troll and MNHQ are quite strict about that sort of thing these days.

bejeezusWC · 07/06/2012 14:34

annie depends on the force with which mash was flicked surely and the length of the fork handle. You would get a much wider spatter pattern with a longer launching implement and more force

Also 'all down' his suit is very subjective and relative; if for example the ds is a regular flicker of mash then OP is probably desensitised to mash-mess and may have minimised the extent of the decimated potatoe. However if this is totally out of character for the child, the shock of the incident may have lead OP to have exagerated the area covered by the root vegetable derivative

Either way OP will need treating for PTSD and DS should certainly get a psychological evaluation, maybe a labotomy?...or be institutionalised, because I think labotomies are now illegal, are they? DP should be knighted for his bravery, and maybe Womens Aid could fashion his image into pin badges?

badtasteflump · 07/06/2012 14:35

Is it a classic? I can't find it

Empusa · 07/06/2012 14:36

"You should not be moving in together, he is to good for you and ds"

I wouldn't say that chaddychick, not when you take the last thread into account.

I always managed to just miss the boxroom troll :(

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 07/06/2012 14:37

Was La Chambre de Boite also responsible for the "dog made me spill my curry over the bedroom after I had gone into exile there" scenario. Deffo a step up from mash flicking!

tethersend · 07/06/2012 14:37

Well said, bejeezus.

And I think he was actually wearing a suit spun from pure gold. And owl feathers.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 07/06/2012 14:38

badtasteflump it will have been deleted unfortunately

badtasteflump · 07/06/2012 14:39
Sad
Hullygully · 07/06/2012 14:39

La Chambre de Boite is long gone. Oh god, I vaguely remember the dog and curry one.

If you look, you will notice he was actually wearing a dinner suite, which I'd have thought weighed him down a tad.

Anniegetyourgun · 07/06/2012 14:40

The owl thing is on page 3 of this thread, and I didn't read it that the DP was doing it on the DS's behalf but on his own, ie, grown man snatches glove and pushes in front of little kid to have a turn himself.

Boxroom as I remember it was a series of threads about a blended family where someone always lived in a tiny crappy bedroom - one of the OP's children I think, while the DP's had the state room with en suite sort of jobbie. Details and posting name often changed but there was always an underlying theme. I think the consensus was that although none of the stories were exactly true, the poster did have some very real issues that she didn't feel able to describe directly.

I don't particularly suspect this of being quite in the boxroom distance from reality, just, as I said before, exaggerated for effect.