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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DP caused this argument and he's a knob

334 replies

CharlieBitMe · 07/06/2012 12:31

DP and I are moving in together in two weeks. He's suddenly decided that my kids need more "discipline" and "structure" so on the 4 nights a week he stays with us he's attempted to lay the law down about us having a "games night" Hmm where we play a board game and insisted that we all sit at the table to eat dinner. I'm really not happy about him trying to lay the law down like this and we had a small row about it and I said I would compromise by trying the meal at the table and would offer the kids the board game thing but not insist on it. So we're sat down at the table and it was really awkward and false. DP had "dressed for dinner" which I found absolutely hilarious and he tries starting shit conversations which all sounded so corny and sitcomish.
DS said something about "oh god, we're becomming one of those geeky families that think they're better than everyone else because they're smug" and DP snapped "well maybe it's about time you were aware of how you come across to others, there is nothing wrong with sitting at the table for a meal".
He was obviously implying that the kids had been dragged up and so I snapped and said he looked like a total dork in his "dinner wear" and he should stop thinking he was something wasn't. DS burst out laughing and DP snapped back "well if I'm a dork, you're a fishwife". DS again burst out laughing and I laughed along, it was quite funny. The dork and the fishwife. DP however sulked that it wasn't funny and he was just trying to be civilised "for once". For a laugh I agreed with him and asked DS to pass the caviare so DS flicked a load of mash at DP. It went all down his suit and I did tell him off and said he'd gone too far but DP was furious and stormed upstairs saying we were all beyond help.

AIBU to think that despite DS being naughty, the whole thing was caused by DP?

OP posts:
JoanOfNark · 07/06/2012 16:45

you eat off the floor when you have a table? Hmm What are you, wolves?

ImperialBlether · 07/06/2012 16:48

Grin @ wolves.

Maryz · 07/06/2012 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 07/06/2012 16:52

I'd run a mile if I were your DP and I'd never look back.

limitedperiodonly · 07/06/2012 16:53

I love a game of Connect 4 round the table of an evening.

My family hates me but fuck it, I'm good at it, and it's my house.

GnocchiNineDoors · 07/06/2012 16:57

Eating dinner round the table and a board game once a week are GOOD things to implement.

YABU to 'gang up' on your DP at the table. "One Dog, One Bone" as my DDad always says.,

I dont think you and your DP should move in together. I think your DP would forever be ridiculed in his own home by you and your, frankly rude, DS.

LunaLunatic · 07/06/2012 17:21

OP please reconsider moving in with this man! From what you've posted it does not sound like a happy relationship...why not continue the relationship if you must but don't move in?

Regarding floor eating; I do it here in the Middle East and it is correct that there are rules and manners. Food is shared from one massive plate, everyone has their own little section and doesn't touch other bits, eat only with the right hand, pass food with the right hand, say grace and wash hands before/after eating. Just thought I'd add that irrelevant gem :)

TalHotBlond · 07/06/2012 17:21

"My family hates me but fuck it, I'm good at it and it's my house."

Grin
manicbmc · 07/06/2012 17:22

I always win at scrabble in this house. Grin

Maryz · 07/06/2012 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

limitedperiodonly · 07/06/2012 17:24

I don't manic

yuy fuknig shw ffo

GeorgeEliot · 07/06/2012 17:28

Those of you who don't eat your meals at the table, where do you eat them?

Confused

Surely eating together at the table is normal behaviour in most families?

gettingeasier · 07/06/2012 17:28

Do you really eat on the floor or sofa all the time ?

Based on your OP ( rather than all the incidents we dont know about but you popped back to say existed when you got loads of YABU) you sound immature,uncouth and like you need a parenting course

Anniegetyourgun · 07/06/2012 17:29

I don't have a dining table. We still need to eat. Use your imagination.

Empusa · 07/06/2012 17:33

"Surely eating together at the table is normal behaviour in most families?"

Not all homes are big enough for a dining table. Sometimes you just have to make do.

WithACherryOnTop · 07/06/2012 17:33

'Those of you who don't eat your meals at the table, where do you eat them?'

We have a communal trough.

Empusa · 07/06/2012 17:33

"We have a communal trough."

Grin

I prefer that reply to my serious one!

DailyMailSpy · 07/06/2012 17:35

Yabu and a bit mean, I feel sorry for your DP too.

GeorgeEliot · 07/06/2012 17:37

Table, counter top, whatever. Did not mean to imply that everyone has a "dining table". Most homes have some sort of space in the kitchen where you can pull chairs or stools up which is suitable for eating.

gettingeasier · 07/06/2012 17:38

Also OP how old is your DS ? If he is old enough to ask are we becoming one of those geeky smug families then this suggests he is 12+ ? In which case I dont think "naughty" quite covers throwing food at someone

GeorgeEliot · 07/06/2012 17:39

Anyway, we know the OP has a table because she referred to it. Why wouldn't you use it for its intended purpose?

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 07/06/2012 17:42

OP you don't sound like you like your Partner very much, and it sounds like he's having doubts about the family he's becoming part of. Since I don't know you, I can't judge whose "fault" any of this was.

cornishsue · 07/06/2012 17:45

Your DP's ideas sound lovely. Very good ideas and it is such a shame he was belittled in this way.

I would feel concerned that your DS found it unusual to be having a family meal around a table. Do I assume this was something unusual for your DS? It was certainly very sad that your DP's well meaning attempts to have some family time were meant with such scorn.

Nothing nicer, in my opinion, than a family meal around the table followed by a games night. I feel very sorry for your DP.

Empusa · 07/06/2012 17:59

"Most homes have some sort of space in the kitchen where you can pull chairs or stools up which is suitable for eating."

Not all. In fact I've never (since leaving my parents home) lived anywhere with a kitchen big enough to sit and eat. Tiny little kitchens seem to be quite common unfortunately. :(

limitedperiodonly · 07/06/2012 18:06

empusa 25 years ago I had a boyfriend who had a tiny but smart flat.

I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong with it until I realised there was only a microwave and a fridge in the kitchen. There was no room for an oven let alone a table and chairs.

He wasn't big on dinner parties and he used to go down the laundrette a lot.

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