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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DP caused this argument and he's a knob

334 replies

CharlieBitMe · 07/06/2012 12:31

DP and I are moving in together in two weeks. He's suddenly decided that my kids need more "discipline" and "structure" so on the 4 nights a week he stays with us he's attempted to lay the law down about us having a "games night" Hmm where we play a board game and insisted that we all sit at the table to eat dinner. I'm really not happy about him trying to lay the law down like this and we had a small row about it and I said I would compromise by trying the meal at the table and would offer the kids the board game thing but not insist on it. So we're sat down at the table and it was really awkward and false. DP had "dressed for dinner" which I found absolutely hilarious and he tries starting shit conversations which all sounded so corny and sitcomish.
DS said something about "oh god, we're becomming one of those geeky families that think they're better than everyone else because they're smug" and DP snapped "well maybe it's about time you were aware of how you come across to others, there is nothing wrong with sitting at the table for a meal".
He was obviously implying that the kids had been dragged up and so I snapped and said he looked like a total dork in his "dinner wear" and he should stop thinking he was something wasn't. DS burst out laughing and DP snapped back "well if I'm a dork, you're a fishwife". DS again burst out laughing and I laughed along, it was quite funny. The dork and the fishwife. DP however sulked that it wasn't funny and he was just trying to be civilised "for once". For a laugh I agreed with him and asked DS to pass the caviare so DS flicked a load of mash at DP. It went all down his suit and I did tell him off and said he'd gone too far but DP was furious and stormed upstairs saying we were all beyond help.

AIBU to think that despite DS being naughty, the whole thing was caused by DP?

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 07/06/2012 14:40

the DP's children had the state room I mean. Damn, I reviewed it twice.

sugarice · 07/06/2012 14:42

So are you more seasoned Mumsnetters suggesting that this thread may not be as it appears to be [sorry being a bit thick here Confused]

cory · 07/06/2012 14:42

Yes, you're probably right about the owl, Annie.

manicbmc · 07/06/2012 14:45

I'm not seasoned. Grin Also not suggesting the OP lives under a bridge either. It's all pretty consistent with the other thread about the dp.

It just seems to me that if you have 2 major causes for concern about a relationship with someone before you have even moved in together, that it is best to get out of it before major damage is done (to anyone but most importantly OP's kid/s)

bejeezusWC · 07/06/2012 14:45

see tethers you cant get mash out of spun gold and owl feather-as hard as you might try

Hullygully · 07/06/2012 14:45

Jim dressed in his dinner suite

TheDreadedFoosa · 07/06/2012 14:45

Well obviously op is not making this shit up, it really is her life. Lucky that, cos with all the hooha about not openly doubting posters stories, it would be a ruddy minefield trying to reply to this in any meaningful way.

What i would recommend though, is that op moves in with her dp and rigs up the house with an elaborate system of video cameras and post the resulting footage to Youtube and wait for the offers of a C4 reality show come rolling in. I know i have never come across the sort of conversations and behaviour she has described anywhere other than the telly.

Perhaps a helmetcam on family days out too? We wouldnt want to miss the comedy gold promised by the Owl sanctuary incident.

Its a rare thing youve found here op, good luck with it all.

AnyoneForTennis · 07/06/2012 14:49

Boxy isn't a troll as such..... She made a thread once where she came clean and admitted she started all the threads to help her think things through......she never returned to threads after an initial 2/3 posts on it..

It was always clear her dp was no good for her..... But she stayed

bejeezusWC · 07/06/2012 14:50

I dont think its funny at all

the OPs DP sounds to me as having the potential to be a nasty piece of work

I really think OP should post in Relationships

bejeezusWC · 07/06/2012 14:51

Grin hully

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 07/06/2012 15:00

They sound feral tbh.

Empusa · 07/06/2012 15:01

I know it's bad form to go through a posters history, but this is actually the third thread complaining about her DP.

Beckamaw · 07/06/2012 15:06

I have read some of your earlier threads and I do think you are setting yourself up for a disaster here. However, that is your business.

I do think that you should be presenting a united front to DS. If you agreed with the concept of eating dinner at the table, you should have supported the process rather than taking the piss.

Your OP did make me laugh. But then so does Jezza Kyle on occasion.

I also concur regarding the emotive nature of owls.
This thread should be moved to Relationships with all the other owl posts.

limitedperiodonly · 07/06/2012 15:21

Owls are responsible for much that is wrong with this world.

And it's a myth that they are wise. They're actually quite stupid.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 07/06/2012 15:32

OP, you don't seem to like this man overmuch. A week ago you'd split up with him because of his excessive exercising, and his mother sounds overbearing.

Why are you with him?

Ephiny · 07/06/2012 15:42

Wait, a week ago you'd split up, and now you're moving in together in 2 weeks? Is that true? This doesn't sound a very stable relationship, which is not ideal especially when children are involved.

Are you sure this is a good idea? Would it be worth waiting a little while, firstly to decide whether you actually want to be together long-term, and also to have some discussions and come to an agreement about the practicalities such as mealtimes and responsibilities for the children's discipline and behaviour, and how the relationship between your DP and the children should be.

You seem to have some differences of opinion on these things, and it might be better to talk it through and try to work out compromises, rather than have a repeat of the performance in your OP on a regular basis. It's not great for the children to see you arguing all the time and calling each other names, or to have one adult saying one thing and the other undermining them.

How do your children feel about him moving in?

tethersend · 07/06/2012 15:50

So, in a nutshell, if the OP is to embark on a relationship serious enough to warrant co-habitation, she needs to keep her sensibilities about her and proceed like adults without engaging in facile behaviour.

To wit, to woo.

squeakytoy · 07/06/2012 15:58

ahhhh this is the "cock-push ups" boyfriend.... riiiiiight....

TantrumsAndBalloons · 07/06/2012 16:05

cock push ups

manicbmc · 07/06/2012 16:06

So that's why OP is with him? He can do push ups with his knob? Hmm

hahahahahaha Grin

AnyoneForTennis · 07/06/2012 16:08

But in the cock push up thread op was moaning he didn't spend enough time with them....... He can't win really can he?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 07/06/2012 16:14

What are the most common british owls?

The teat owls...

Coconutty · 07/06/2012 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marathonrunner · 07/06/2012 16:41

YABU. I am the first to admit that my son can be very badly behaved. However, over the last couple of months I have started to take him firmly in hand and one of those things include eating at the table for every meal. Admittedly at our old place we had no room for a table but I think eating at a table is so important. As for the games night, what a great idea. I don't think the two of you are very suited.

JoanOfNark · 07/06/2012 16:44

you sound a bit of a wagon, tbh. If you want to eat your dinner off your knees flicking mash at each other instead of being civilised and sitting at a table talking to each other, why not stay in your own home doing just that?

He sounds like he's making an effort. You sound like you hate him.

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