to ask you all (especially fellow red-heads) what the hell i should do about this orange bridesmaid dress?

[mumofbumblebea]

cousin getting married. was asked to be bridesmaid about a year and a half ago and i was chuffed (love a bit of wedding fever). at the time the bride said "don't worry, i won't make you wear bright orange or pink or anything like that". fast forward a year and a half later and the bride has chosen orange bridesmaid dresses. now the other bridesmaids are all darker and thinner and taller than me and the dresses look beautiful on them. tried mine on as well at the weekend and i look like a bloody carrot. i said at the time (without wanting to upset the bride) that it wasn't a colour i would normally wear and i was a bit worried that it didn't suit me. she and the other bridesmaids insisted i looked lovely and apparently it won't clash as much if i have my hair in a bun . took a few pictures to see if it looked any better on camera and it looked even worse. have shown other people the pictures and everyones reaction so far has been "oh bloody hell". i'm going to have to pay £130 for this dress that looks hideous. we haven't paid for the dresses yet, am i unreasonable to give her a call tonight and explain that i really don't like the dress even though i know she loves them?
if IABU, any advice on how i can get away with wearing this dress?

The BM traffic cones would have come in handy to reserve parking for the wedding cars...

Well done, agree you will have to do something to smooth the waters but good for you to refuse.

Will you ever show us the picture of you in the actual dress?

Well played

Unexpected no, it's too easy to identify me. i like to keep my mums net alter ego secret..........

Well done! Now you get to wear the dress of your choice. Excellent!

No, £130 for a dress that colour is not on.
You simply could never wear it again even if it suited you. There is simply no event a long orange formal dress is right for

Yes, DD with her dark red hair could get away with it, but no brighter pale skinned red head could.

Given I didn't make DSIL be my bridesmaid, but let her play her flute while we signed the registers and I found a flattering dress for my sister. Your bride is a bit mean

Well done OP. And good form keeping us all posted.

And I LOVE the 'worry where to put the baby at a later date' comment You're a legend!

bloody hell just had text from brides mother. where would you recommend for emigrating, australia or new zealand?

oh dear hasnt it gone down well?

Anywhere Easyjet flies to

nawww they are Orange!!!

What did she say?

I think if they push this, and don't accept you bowing out with good grace, then the bride might need to hear some home truths about how unreasonable and bridezilla ish she is being.

I know that brides get very caught up in their big day, but sometimes they need to be gently reminded that the world does not revolve around their wedding and that other people have feelings and financial commitments too!

I wouldn't move to Holland tho, national colour begins with 'o'.

It's too much money & you can't afford it - simple! Don't let the brides mother intimidate you into backing down.

Well done for standing up for yourself.

Stick to your guns!

She has two options:

She pays for your dress, or you celebrate her day as a guest. Don't be guilt-sucked!

apparently it is an insult not to be a bridesmaid if you have been asked
she is coming round to discuss this on friday evening apparently!
i don't think she can come round because i've got a feeling i'll have d&v that day clutching at straws

She'll only come round the next day if you have D&V. Or maybe shout through the bathroom door.

Hopefully if you stick to your guns about not being able to afford that much for a dress you'll never, ever, wear again, she'll back down?

What did the text say?

I think you did the right thing. I was imagining a burnt orange like a friend had and thinking it wouldn't be too bad, but that shade of orange you posted is the worst shade of orange ever! I'm wondering as it is an October wedding if there is a Hallowe'en pumpkin theme. Maybe the bride will have little pumpkins in her bouquet or something.

Don't be bullied into doing it. You will end up resenting the bride and dreading the day.
Is there any way that you can tell the brides mum the real reason that you don't want to be bridesmaid

1. you arte a gorgeous redhead who looks awful in orange
2. you can't affford it 3] you dont want to be a miserable cow on the day forced to spend money on a dress that you would not normally be seen dead in.

If you do end up giving in and being bridesmaid, maybe you could wear a witches hat to cover your hair?

you could also say that you feel a bit insulted having to wear a colour of dress you previously said did not suit your colouring....,

have broomsticks instead o bouquets

will definitely stick to my guns over it. goin g to call her tomorrow, i find it easier to be brave on the phone rather than face-to-face

How would you feel though, if you'd carefully chosen a dress you thought would suit all your bridesmaids and be perfect for the occasion, and then one bridesmaid said she wasn't having it? Would you cough up? Would you be offended that she was making a fuss?

I've never quite worked out just how it is an honour to be a bm, if it involves wearing a hideous dress, having to pay lots of money for the dubious honour of wearing said hideous dress, and that's before you get to the hen night, which you are obliged to organise and pay shit loads for.

It's more of an honour for the bride, than for the bm.

Is she by any chance deliberately making her bridesmaids look like shit so that there's no danger of being overshadowed?

Stick to your guns, sweetie. No way you should be wearing something that will make you feel hideous AND spending £130 of your own money on it!