to ask you all (especially fellow red-heads) what the hell i should do about this orange bridesmaid dress?

[mumofbumblebea]

cousin getting married. was asked to be bridesmaid about a year and a half ago and i was chuffed (love a bit of wedding fever). at the time the bride said "don't worry, i won't make you wear bright orange or pink or anything like that". fast forward a year and a half later and the bride has chosen orange bridesmaid dresses. now the other bridesmaids are all darker and thinner and taller than me and the dresses look beautiful on them. tried mine on as well at the weekend and i look like a bloody carrot. i said at the time (without wanting to upset the bride) that it wasn't a colour i would normally wear and i was a bit worried that it didn't suit me. she and the other bridesmaids insisted i looked lovely and apparently it won't clash as much if i have my hair in a bun . took a few pictures to see if it looked any better on camera and it looked even worse. have shown other people the pictures and everyones reaction so far has been "oh bloody hell". i'm going to have to pay £130 for this dress that looks hideous. we haven't paid for the dresses yet, am i unreasonable to give her a call tonight and explain that i really don't like the dress even though i know she loves them?
if IABU, any advice on how i can get away with wearing this dress?

bollocks she's out

Good luck! Update us soon :)

I'd never heard of Henry Holland before..... but now I MUST own one!

Don't know if this has been suggested already as I'm feeling very lazy & can't be arsed to read through 8 pages but, my friend who is a redhead has blonde high-lights in which look lovely & would, I think, help with the orange dress situation.

RubyGates i have recently made the discovery. better quality than warehouse or oasis but better prices (can be a bit out there though). plus he makes me thin! the dress i want looks lovely in rl but awful online :(

See, whenever I see orange clothes these days they always remind me of Guantanamo Bay .

Personally I would insist she pays for it or back out. Anyway if all the bridesmaids look silly in orange everyone will know it was her daft idea. You can get bladdered at the reception and ruin the dress.

Barredfromhaving stella i actually like my hair though. in a few years i might be gray. i don't want to change it...

Not saying you don't like your hair think auburn/ginger/strawberry blonde is lovely just not ideal for an orange dress. Trying to give you a solution to the dilemma, bear in mind it's not permanent, I have very long hair & it seems my colours evaporate very quickly-costs me a bloody fortune

maybe you could claim not to be able to at least pay for it (let alone wear it) on religious grounds?

"It is a deep deep sin against the Church of Redheads to show support or understanding of Orange Clothing, therefore it would be against my religion to buy this dress. If you insist on me wearing it, Mick Hucknall, God of the Redheads may forgive me on the basis I am being a Supportive Friend, however to spend my money on it will mean eternal damnation"

barredfromhavingtella realistically though, red hair is very hard to dye or highlight. someone i know who does this has to have the hair bleached first for it to take at all. because i do like my hair, i'm not keen to mess it up by faffing round with that. it is a fair suggestion though :)

Gnocchi
she should be back home now. time to call again...

It's not your hair. It's the shade, it's extreme.

A red head can wear a lighter tone of orange.

She's been gone ten minutes......worried now!

You can either go 2 ways - roll along with things and expect not to look so good. Enjoy the day and have fun anyway. You could always try a wash in wash out hair colour for a bit of fun maybe? Make the hair a shade darker/lighter.

Or you could dig your heels in and say you can't be her BM.

Marking place for an update ... hope there have been no orange related squeezing incidents ...

welll.........
talked to cousin on the phone. gave excuse about car. said i'm really sorry but it is going to cost me a fortune and i can't afford to pay for dress, accessories etc on top of that.
she asked why i dont wear accessories i've already got.
i said i didn't own anything orange.
she said "well it's not fair if i pay for yours and not everyone elses and i can't afford to pay for everyones" and then reeled off a load of wedding expenses.
I said i agreed so it's probably a better idea if i didn't order a dress so she wasn't lumbered with the cost if we couldn't pay it. i said it might be better if i came as a guest.
she said thats probably a good idea (but sounded miffed).
i made a bit of small talk then hung up asap.
so relieved. £130 to spend on my girls rather than a traffic cone dress.

Good, good.

Hands mumofbumblebea some .
Well done you for standing your ground. She can be as miffed as she bloody likes!

Yay! Maybe ask her out to lunch soon to smooth the waters?

That shade of orange was pretty horrible...

Phew - well done. She's being very unreasonable in expecting anyone to pay £130 each, for dresses they will never wear again, but to expect it from someone who doesn't even look nice in said dress, is delusional.

Strongly disagree with this idea of making BMs pay for their own dresses, when it is a rare bm dress that can be worn more than once. It's taking the pis to not even give them a say in the style/colour.

nutella good idea :)

pis = piss. I can spell, honestly and have only had the one

Well done. I wanted you to dye your hair green though .

Well done,

Hard to do but you did it.

I think you did exactly the right thing. I can't believe that people wound dictate a dress choice and expect people to pay. Especially when the do is hardly on a shoestring. I hope you give your girls lovely treats with the money.