To say well done to my super nephew...

[Theglassishalffull]

My 10year old nephew had new splints fitted. The man who fit them was not his normal one, so when he came to fit them my nephew said to him"I think that they need to be cut more."
To which the fitter replied "Well I have had 24 years experience doing this so I do know what I am doing."
My nephew then turned to him and said " Well I have had 10 years experience at being disabled so I know what I am talking about.
I thought that was brilliant.

Unfortunately knowing similar situation (not splinting but other equipment) you really do get some HCPs who think they know better than the client.

This child did brilliantly at responding to behaviour towards him.

Theglassishalffull - well done to your nephew! He should be proud of himself. Being able to find the right words straight on the spot, and under pressure, is not easy, and no amount of polite words would have ever communicated his message better! It's just great. Ace response! So, so well done!

I doubt many adults would put it better than your nephew. (Not here on MN, whilst relaxing in the evening, but in real life and looking the other person in the eye!)

It's so sad to read comments suggesting that your nephew was rude. Yes it could have made the other person (fitter) a tiny bit uncomfortable, but to suggest this was rude is disrespectful in itself. It implies that children should always make adults' lives easy, and that this is what politeness is about. It is not.

I work as a Human Rights Lawyer and have fought for many years for the rights of the disabled. I therefore have some insight into the problems faced by the disabled.
I am by no means anti-disability as was suggested by another poster, i just believe that it is important to remember that it is our duty as adults to teach our children right from wrong. I personally believe that the op's nephew was rude.

The fact he is disabled is highly relevant.
He would not be constantly put at the mercy of adults poking and prodding him if he wasnt disabled.
AND he wasnt rude.

Lying which bit was abusive?

OP, your ds sounds fab, unlike some of the rude posters on here we also have to deal with these health pro's on a regular bases (for both dd's) and often they think they know best when clearly the child knows just as much (if not more) about what is correct and what isn't.

To the rude posters on here, i do hope you never have to attent these appointments with your children, maybe if you did you would have a little bit more understanding about what a parent of a child with sn's has too deal with on a regular basis.

OP, thank you so much for sharing, you made me smile .

And yet you call them 'the disabled'

I agree, kungfupannda, and in his 10 years he has probably learned that his opinion is often disregarded if he isn't assertive.

I applaud him op.

I'm dismayed to see some cruel responses on this thread.
Is it rude to call a 10 year old boy an asshole or a spoilt brat? No, it's a lot worse.

well as a parent of a disabled child who wears AFO'S i trump you.
I would rather she was assertive and told someone that she knew better than was in pain, she can't though. so hopefully if people like the op's nephew who can speak up, the I know better people will learn.

that was to forehead

he's not a little star, he sounds like a cheeky brat.

HRH... I think most people can grasp, without knowing specifically what these things are, that they must fit properly - or cause pain to the wearer. A specialist would be a fool to allow a patient to leave the fitting without the kit fitting. They would only have to re-do it again - and probably face a complaint to boot.

I know that some specialists can be abrasive - but, in my experience, they DO know what they're doing. I couldn't speak for every profession, but I would say that there are more compelling reasons to do the job properly than not.

I would like to know whether this child's parent/guardian is going to take up the case of rudeness/unprofessionalism because, if there is a question of the job not having been completed competently, it should be addressed at a higher level straight away.

Ok, many posters including glass and youarekidding perhaps sometimes you may need to be forceful but I'm not sure this was one of those occasions. The fitter may have looked again and agreed with his patient. Who knows? (well glass may well!)

thebody I also have experience of health professionals who do not listen (one brother with Aspergers and another who very nearly died from a burst appendix). My opinion still remains the same. I have not been rude or name called (unlike some) and I am trying to see all sides of the argument, I do not think I need to be met with such an aggressive posting style.

Forehead that makes your posts more surprising, he knows right from wrong and is usually polite and well mannered but sometimes you just have to be blunt about things.

Lying I am a qualified nurse.

Until my dd needed the NHS I didn't realise quite how awful it is from
a patients point of view.

I don't advocate punching teeth down throat though belive me I have been sorely tempted.

If only the sign saying ' staff are not there to be abused' actually read ' staff are here to listen and care' there would be less abuse.

When A workd renowned British hospital can't fit a plaster jacket on your child without causing major pressure sores but a small cottage hospital in rural France is able to.....

Well it makes you as a parent a tad fucking mad.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe not always, you should have seen the dentist(and he was the consultant) who used to come to dd's sn school.
he didn't have a clue, parents were complaining in droves.
not all expert are good.

glass... Nothing that you posted was abusive - nor what your nephew said. I was referring to some of the posts on this thread. If that is the level of lashing out response some people treat others with then they deserve the dismissive treatment they receive.

Someday, he is not a brat.

somedayma Tue 05-Jun-12 22:28:00
he's not a little star, he sounds like a cheeky brat.

so you would rather he was in pain!

Sorry lying I missunderstood you

thebody... I understand that perfectly, I would be mad too. I also think cottage hospitals are generally far superior and am saddened that they're closing down everywhere.

This thread has made me so sad.

Indeed forehead as a fellow HR lawyer I too find you saying 'the disabled' rather surprising. After all you more than anyone should know that every individual is different?

Those who keep saying 'rude' - I can only assume that you have no idea about the stress young people like the OP's dn come under on a regular basis. I'm grateful that my ds sees most specialists at school as he gets less worked up there. Hospital and clinic appointments can be very stressful.

This is on top of the boy being the only one who can say whether his splints fit.

Surely the point is that the little boy had already tried the polite route and got nowhere? And was risking injury if he could not make the man listen?

My dd is somebody who could never do this. I have brought her up quite strictly and she is consequently incapable of asserting herself against any adult outside the family. This comes at a price.

As a consequence she has been put in some pretty horrendous situations by adults who had no idea what it was like to be disabled and who would simply not listen to a gentle objection made respectfully by a polite and well mannered child. That's how she ended up having to crawl up the stairs on her hands and knees at school to access her maths lessons. That's how she ended up having to slide out of her wheelchair and crawl into the loo when the staff refused to open the disabled loo for her. That's how she ended up doing exercises at the hospital that may well permanently have damaged her joints. Because once she had exhausted the polite gentle objection and failed to make an impression, she had nowhere left to go.

We are still living with the fall-out many years later. She is quite simply incapable of asserting herself as any way that any adult may perceive as rude; if she foresees a situation where she may have to do that, she will cut herself so as to get out of it. I cannot say I feel very proud of this aspect of my parenting. But I grant you that she is respectful.