To say well done to my super nephew...

[Theglassishalffull]

My 10year old nephew had new splints fitted. The man who fit them was not his normal one, so when he came to fit them my nephew said to him"I think that they need to be cut more."
To which the fitter replied "Well I have had 24 years experience doing this so I do know what I am doing."
My nephew then turned to him and said " Well I have had 10 years experience at being disabled so I know what I am talking about.
I thought that was brilliant.

That is true. glass is not arguing back. There are a few of us arguing on her behalf because we too have children who may have had and have had sores, been physically scarred, who have been patronised during gruelling hospital treatment and had their lives put at risks by susposedly responsible adults - and can't can't understand why it is the child in this circumstance who is suppose to politely say - 'excuse me but I may be scarred, bruised, killed by your actions please reconsider them' when the adult has blatently said 'what the feck do you know your a child and I've been doing this before you were even a though'

Some people are just controversial for the hell of it.

Well done OP's nephew. Indeed, the amount of times I've settled for something I didn't want or that wasn't right because it was easier than arguing with someone who assured me that in their expert opinion, it was exactly what I needed.

We should be teaching our children to stand up for themselves, not accepting something that isn't right just because a condescending or patronising grown up has told them so in a way which belittles them.

Forehead' I have acted on behalf of disabled people'

Yes we have all met your types love In hospitals and units. You know best and DONT FRIGGIN LISTEN but mean well!!!

I was a Paediatric nurse...hospitals and hospice now starting in NICU.I agree with posters who have said you have to fight to be heard/get what you need for your child.

I don't think any poster is arguing that anyone, young or old, disabled or otherwise, should not stand up for themselves. The point is that no one needs to be rude to do so.

I think he sounds great! X

Forehead,you may think him rude but what you actually said is he sounded like a spoilt brat. Can I ask what your role is professionally?

Sorry blue but that is where I disagree with you. Sometimes you must fight fire with fire.

Blue emerald the whole point is we who know are telling you that YES TO BE HEARD IN HOSPITALS YOU DO SOMETIMES HAVE TO BE RUDE.

I dont think he was rude.
If he had said 'fucking listen to me you patronizing cunt'
that would have been rude.
He said something factual after his intial comments had been dismissed out of hand.

He sounds remarkably restrained given the circumstances.
How long would he have had to wait for a new appointment to get those splints re-done if he had walked out with them?
Another whole day out of school, weeks of chaffing and blisters and bloody useless splints because the grown up knew best?
Or a firm assertion and properly fitted splints?

TSC Why in the world wouldn't I teach my children not to tolerate arrogance?

I will teach them to show respect to those that show it to them and to meet like with like.

I should hope that their teachers would never be arrogant to them.

Not entirely sure why you felt the need to be rude about my children there.
(Or have I been rude about yours on another thread and you are simply meeting like with like?)

I really cannot believe that some posters condone this kind of behaviour. On mumsnet, people are constantly posting about lack of discipline in society etc. Many blamed last years riots on the fact that youngsters were rude, selfish etc. Some of these posters are on this thread condoning rudeness from a ten year old.
The fact that he is disabled is irrelevant.

why post in aibu if you dont want opinions? or did you think everyone would automatically say yanbu?

Blue I think what many people (well certainly me!) are trying to say is that they agree there is no need for rudeness (or at least there shouldn't be a need) but when faced with an adult who is dismissing a childs feelings/comfort/ knowledge "because they are the expert" and doing so rudely - then the only way to get them to reconsider they're 'expert opinion' is to reply in the same curt tone indicating that their experience is also extensive and actually (in this case) wearing the AFO's and knowing about how they dig in is relevant.

If all manufacturers, designers of products were experts, or thought they were experts there would be no such thing as market testing. As market tests exist for the consumer/ service user - what does that tell you?

forehead Tue 05-Jun-12 22:02:57
You can attack me as much as you like. In my profession, i have worked on behalf of disabled people.
If your nephew was not disabled, i would have said exactly the same thing. I believe that your nephew was rude to speak to an adult in that manner. I cannot believe that you even started a thread tbh.

thanks god you don't work with my dd, with an attitude like that.
I suggest you go walk in ill fitting shoes then judge.

Those of you that have said the boy was rude really don't geddit. As I said in previous posts on this thread my 4 year old wears splints. So I put them on him and check them daily. And yet, even at this young age, HE is the only one who can decide whether they fit well as only HIS legs are on the inside of the splints. He loves his splints, they help him stand and walk in his walker. When he says 'splints off' they come off because something is the matter. This lad may only be 10 but he knows what his splints should feel like and this man should listen to him!

As the mother of a disabled child who wears splints i would jump for joy if he was able to express himself and assert himself to an orthotics person who was obviously not willing to listen to his patient.
I know from experience that ill fitting splints cause sores & have in my sons case caused such severe sores that he was unable to wear splint & shoes for a month & removed the limited mobility he has.

Well done your DN.

I can't bear rudeness in children. Or in adults for that matter.

However, I think the OP's nephew responded in a pithy, getting-the-point-across manner to someone who was clearly gearing up to ignore his input. It is quite possible that anything less punchy would have been brushed aside.

Sometimes it is better just to get straight to the point without all the pussyfooting around. I was being thoroughly patronised by a stranger in a diy shop the other day. He probably thought he was being terribly helpful and kind, but was actually being a massive pain in the backside. I wasted a lot of time with the "oh no, thankyou" and "really I'm fine" type responses and eventually had to resort to "Please stop. You are not helping at all and I am perfectly capable of doing it myself." If I had just said that in the first place it would have saved a lot of time and irritation.

I would disagree with that, thebody. To be heard you need to be persistent, like a stuck record if necessary but rude? No. Not necessary. If anything, it is likely to make people dismiss you - or refuse to deal with you. That's my experience anyway. There are enough signs up reminding people that 'staff are not there to be abused'. There's a formal process for complaints.

Rudeness is never something to be congratulated. It has nothing at all to do with standing up for yourself and if you're within your rights you can do that without being rude or abusive.

i wonder if a lot of people actually know what AFO'S are and that they are moulded to the fit the wearers foot, they have to fit properly.

HE WAS NOT RUDE

blue
My DD relapsed.
The bone marrow in her whole body expanded, pushing outwards and making her scream in agony. Morphine couldnt touch it. She was calling out to me, telling me she wanted to die and then saying 'sorry mummy'.
The thing that would help her was to start chemo asap.
To do this she needed a heart scan.
We had to wheel her to the other side of a huge hospital, with people staring at her the whole way. Each movement causing her even more agony.
We got to where they did the scans.
The woman looked at her watch and sighed. She said 'well you should have called, I cant do it now I have xxx to do and really this is inconvienent' She then started blathering on about perhaps being able to fit her in a bit later.

At that point do you think I should have a.politely agreed that my daughter was an inconvience
or
b.screeched that my DD needed helping NOW and someone had better sort something OUT NOW or I was going to keep screeching until the fucking did

And what do you think I wanted to do?
A. scream my head off in the middle of a hospital with a hundreds of gawping onlookers enjoying the show.
B. take my dying DD in my arms and hold her quietly and calmly while the professionals did their jobs and took away her pain?

Forehead are you serious? Have you had baddly fitting splints that cut into your leg and are sore? Or regualr vivsts to hospital where you are completely ignored at times by the professionals?

I hardly think your comment about rioting is relevant?