To say well done to my super nephew...

[Theglassishalffull]

My 10year old nephew had new splints fitted. The man who fit them was not his normal one, so when he came to fit them my nephew said to him"I think that they need to be cut more."
To which the fitter replied "Well I have had 24 years experience doing this so I do know what I am doing."
My nephew then turned to him and said " Well I have had 10 years experience at being disabled so I know what I am talking about.
I thought that was brilliant.

I do understand that thebody I really do.

But my point is, there will still be people (outsiders if you like) who will see that sort of retort as cheeky....and some who will pat him on the back for it.

That's life though and everyone is different.

Which brings me back to my point that I don't understand why some people (on either side of the argument) are getting so wound up about it.

If this child grows up to be cheeky and arrogant or if he grows up to be well mannered and polite...it's not going to affect any of us is it?

The family across the road to me never tell their small kids off for saying fuck.

I cringe when I hear it but I'm not their Mum so I can at least relax in the knowledge their kids language is not my problem.

I don't know if I've made my point clearer or more muddied to be honest

I think people are getting wound up because the idea of a 10 year old child not being listened to by what sounds like an incompetent and dismissive 'professional' is emotive. Especially when the consequences of being ignored are pain and injury!

Also that some posters have been unnecessarily mean, narrow minded and maybe a bit disingenuous (and rude hypocrites)

The OPs nephew should be congratulated. Well done to him, I'd be really proud too.

This is aibu but some of the responses were so awful and directed at a disabled child I for one was shocked.

However although I do see your point it's an absolute fact that personally I have been turned into a cooperative, smiley,easy to please type of mum into a tiger who has to fight for my child as the medical and nursing profession had systematically let us down.

That's why I completely recognise the arrogance if the fitter and the child's response.
Physios excepted as they are the lights that shine and have acted as advocates for us and other parents agree.

Don't know why this is the case but it is.

Well, that's true of every thread on Mumsnet though, isn't it, Worra? They're all about strangers we've never met and whose problems and solutions aren't going to affect us. And yet we keep responding and pitching in with our own experience and no doubt interpreting their problems in the light of our own experiences.

And in some way it makes sense. No man is an island, we all live in a society and how other people deal with their problems affects how people will deal with us.

Other parents bringing up their children to be courteous and considerate matters to me because it will contribute to a more courteous society for my children to live in.

And other patients pointing out to the doctor that they need listening to because they are the ones with the pain might just make a difference to my daughter too.

glass I work in NHS (not very much with children TBH ) but I have 24 years years experience too.

If I felt the need to talk to any of my patients like that I would be ashamed of myself.

I always say to my patients "Make sure it's comfortable before you leave, it's you that has to walk about with this"

Some patiets apologise to me for asking for something, and say "I'm not trying to tell you your job"
I will take anything into consideration providing it's not harmful.

I agree , your nephew was probably just pushed that little bit too far this time by the fitter.

I was reading this thread last night at home (so not logged in) and was struck by MrsDeVere looking for a gym. Could you poerhaps see what the going rate is next door??!!

But I am also very very struck, in a very "well done that lad" way, by the OPs DNephew and the way he stuck up for himself.

I am a reasonably lay person in terms of the medical world, but my mum is a former nurse (gave up on marriage), I've been through a fair few things myself and with my siblings over the years, I'm a trained first aider since late teens (recently re-did training so more advanced first responder level now), I did science (microbiology and biochemistry) in college, and DD has had a fair few things to deal with over the years (so I am NOT depending on ER and other medical dramas for my knowledge).

I've had various reactions over the years to trying to explain things to medics - I try to make sure I have all relevant info to hand, and give it clearly, chronologically and precisely. Most medics are happy to hear it and ask a few more questions, but I have had young trainees querying "am I part of the profession?" and then utterly dismissing me when I said no (my career is a bureaucrat), and elderly consultants with a very much "I am the highly qualified cons here with more than 30 years experience, so I will decide if you need an extra tear just because I think you should have something done way ahead of schedule when already sore and unnecessary - and I've ignored everything you've said for the past 8 months I've been seeing you anyway" attitude.

I now get DD to explain things clearly too, she's 6, as she can let the medical person know what's wrong as well and it is important for her to be able to discuss what's wrong with professionals in due course. I won't always be there to advocate for her, and I want her doing it herself.

Most professionals I've dealt with are mainly human, but there are still quite a few who have an arrogant streak in them (not saying the fitter did, but there can be an "I'm the professional, I know best dear" with a pat on the head, attitude amongst the medical world, especially when dealing with women or children). And THEY need to know that sometimes the patients are human too, and they might actually know what's wrong with them and what will or won't help them dealing with it day to day, which the professional just may not understand fully.

The OP's nephew has obviously, at the tender age of 10, had a belly full of being patronised and talked down to because he's disabled. He is obviously learning how to assert himself and good on him for doing so.

I think he is terrific for saying what he did and I hope the man who fitted the splints thinks twice before speaking to a patient the way he did.

I have met a lot of people in orthotics. There are not a lot of really great ones out there but most think they are god's gift...

If you think his retort was cheeky then you've obviously never met some of the kids in my family

Just been with ds to the hospital today to collect his new splints. Not met this particular technician before but he took almost half an hour of checking, feeling, adjusting, checking etc to make sure they were just right. Told me to keep the old ones for a bit in case the new ones were not perfect and had to be adjusted again.

See, ds won't have to be ''''rude'''' to this one. It's all about attitude.