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AIBU?

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Original poster

To say well done to my super nephew...

259 replies

Theglassishalffull · 05/06/2012 19:13

My 10year old nephew had new splints fitted. The man who fit them was not his normal one, so when he came to fit them my nephew said to him"I think that they need to be cut more."
To which the fitter replied "Well I have had 24 years experience doing this so I do know what I am doing."
My nephew then turned to him and said " Well I have had 10 years experience at being disabled so I know what I am talking about.
I thought that was brilliant.

OP posts:
QuickLookBusy · 05/06/2012 20:51

theglass please don't listen to those saying he is rude.

He was NOT rude, just sticking up for himself. Like any ten year old should.

ShellyBoobs · 05/06/2012 20:54

I don't think he was rude.

If I was the person fitting his splints I think it would have made me smile and would have prompted me to stop and question why he thought they needed cutting more.

QuickLookBusy · 05/06/2012 20:54

"no I'm sorry, the shoes really need cutting I think"

worra why should the boy apologise to the fitter?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/06/2012 20:54

Were you there, OP? I know that some specialists can be a bit dismissive/abrupt, but it's not really in their interests to waste materials and resources on making something that isn't going to fit and is going to need correction later on anyway.

I'm not saying the fitter wasn't rude, only commenting on what you're saying your nephew's response was, so accepting your statement as a fact.

There were better responses, as have been posted. The fitter would have been chagrined, I'm sure.

Annunziata · 05/06/2012 20:54

None of us saying he was rude are saying that he shouldn't have stuck up for himself, but at the age of ten should be able to do it in a more polite way.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 05/06/2012 20:54

I am absolutely sure if there were a thread about any child getting something fitted, I'd be saying it was a normal response.

I don't have children so perhaps I'm less aware of what seems rude, but when children respond by mirroring an adult's speech, I think it is quite a good thing. I teach children this age sometimes and would usually respond by being amused they stuck up for themselves.

I appreciate it may feel different if you're the parent, but if someone does not learn to say these things as a child, when will they learn?

youarekidding · 05/06/2012 20:56

He was sticking up for himself like any child would (who had the confidence) - by mimiking the adult. Children learn by copying.

I know myself on days when I have PMT am short and snappy to DS (7) he responds the same way. I really shouldn't! can't tell him off as all he's doing is learning from me.

And for those who suggest better ways for the boy to have responded heres a suggestion to how the fitter should have responded. "oh in what way do you think they need cutting? Could you show me?"

FWIW This boy wears AFO's - plastic splints. If they are wrongly moulded, cut they can cause really deep sores and cuts which in extreme circumstances can cause circulation difficulties and cellulitis.

Annunziata · 05/06/2012 21:00

Children learn by copying. They also have to be taught to rise above a rude remark.

Sunscorch · 05/06/2012 21:00

The question is not whether the boy's response was reasonable, or understandable.

The question is whether he should be congratulated for his response.

So while the fitter was clearly rude and abrupt, the child responded in kind, and should not be congratulated for doing so in the way that he did.

thebody · 05/06/2012 21:06

Hi op,

Recently my dd and her friends have been badly injured in a crash In Varying degrees.

These range from one girl paralysed from the waist down to others with multiple fractures and other traumas.

This has catapulted all us parents into a world of so called experts in every field. Doctors, nurses, physios, occ health and people who fit splints and plaster jackets.

As my dd knows and as your nephew surely does if the splint or jacket doesn't fit it causes many problems and disconcert with serious concequences.

As we have found if you sit back and smile at the NHS you get fuck all.

When your children are injured you learn to knock down doors to get the care they need.

Your nephew was quite right and that rude bastard should be apologising to him and thanking his lucky stars that he can fucking walk.

Doobydoo · 05/06/2012 21:07

Sun you are sounding like an arse.
OP...Well done to your nephew.Maybe he will meet Sun who comes across as someone in need of manners.

Doobydoo · 05/06/2012 21:08

Calling a 10 year old an asshole Sun....what does that make you

Annunziata · 05/06/2012 21:09

I think Sunscorch is spot on.

youarekidding · 05/06/2012 21:09

Despite there being 100's of threads on MN where MNers have been congratulated for responding to a rude person - by being rude/ cutting/ patronising back? Wink

Yes people should always respond kindly, I agree in principle, but sometimes you have to think 'good on you' when people have been down right patronising and you've put them in their place. Sometimes the polite and correct response gets you no-where except

'could you please recheck them, I don't think they'r right'

'no, they're fine IMO, I do know what I'm talking about'
'they don't feel right please check again'
'I know what I'm doing, they are fine'

until the person eventually has to say ' hey look, I also know what I'm talking about and these are not right'

Sometimes a response in a tone that matches the speaker cuts out the bit in the middle.

madmouse · 05/06/2012 21:10

As the mum of a very independent 4 year old splint wearer who despite a speech inpediment is able to exactly tell us when they're not on right I say well done to your nephew.

Most of the children at ds's school wear splints and it is very common for the physios to have to send splints back because they don't fit well. Regardless of how much experience the makers have.

Original poster
Theglassishalffull · 05/06/2012 21:10

Well I will never think he was rude, he is ten and learning to be assertive and speak up when appropriate.

OP posts:
OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 05/06/2012 21:14

He was not rude.
He was responding to a patronizing and rude adult.
This is very probably a child who has been putting up with being prodded and poked by know it all adults all of his life.
Having a child with a disability/serious illness is NOT the same as having a child who occassionally goes to the dentist or GP.

They put up with ten tons of shite and have to keep their little mouths shut most of the time.
They have to do things that hurt because all the adults around them are telling them it is good for them.
They have to sit and listen to people talk about them as if they are not there and tell them 'yes dear' as if they were stupid.
They have to miss exciting things because an adult tells them that they need to be at a clinic at 10am and then they sit there till 12.30pm waiting to be seen by someone who doesnt bother to apologise.

WELL DONE OP'S NEPHEW.

GOOD FOR YOU!

BoneyBackJefferson · 05/06/2012 21:16

We have no idea as to when during the fitting the boy spoke to the man so we don't know the full circumstance of the reply.

If it was before the fitting even started then the boy could be been seen as rude as the man hadn't even started the job.

If it was half way through then the man was rude for not listening to the boy.

surroundedbyblondes · 05/06/2012 21:17

He sounds like a star!

nutellaontoast · 05/06/2012 21:18

To those of you who are suggesting that a disabled ten-year-old boy who stuck up for himself by responding in kind to a fitter he felt was about to, basically, injure him by cutting his splints too long is an "asshole":

YOU, my darlings, are being assholes, and worse. Fuck you. The kid could, arguably, have responded slightly more tactfully. But did neither swore at him, nor name-called, which is a fuck sight more than can be said of you. And you are - presumably - adults. You should be fucking ashamed.

madmouse · 05/06/2012 21:20

Let me see
physio - weekly
SALT - weekly
OT - in bursts as needed, currently lots and for an hour at a time
splints clinic for legs - few times per year
orthopaedic surgeon - quarterly
botox surgery - yearly
paediatrician - every 6 months
splints clinic for hand - pending
mum doing painful stretches - daily
both parents nagging to use stiff arm and pronounce words properly - many times a day
having your nappy changed aged 4 - several times a day
being man handled into car seat by different people - daily

Please may my ds grow up to be assertive. I'm doing my best to help him. Sad

QuickLookBusy · 05/06/2012 21:20

Sorry, but I think some posters on here are shit stirring.

This is a small boy sticking up for himself. There is really no need to be so rude.

Original poster
Theglassishalffull · 05/06/2012 21:20

Boney it was part way through.

OP posts:
Doobydoo · 05/06/2012 21:21

I concur Nutella.I edited my posts as they involved much swearing.I thank you for doing it for meSmile

Original poster
Theglassishalffull · 05/06/2012 21:23

Had I thought there would be this much reaction I would never have posted. I like the rest of his family are proud as professionals tend to be dismissive.

OP posts:
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