to be shocked by the amount of Stepford wives on Mumsnet

[LoopyLoopsCorgiPoops]

So many women on here either this it's fine to do everything in the house and with the children, or don't think it's fine yet put up with it. I simply could not live with an adult who thought they were more important and more deserving of leisure time than me. Why do they all put up with it?

My DH does fuck all around the house. I work full time, he doesn't. I even take the bins out

He is great with DS although in the 6.5 months since he was born has only got up with him once in the morning (mothers day)

Now must dash - I'm off to bake him some cupcakes whilst looking purrty

please no

Well I like doing everything. And I don't care what people think either. :)

I've done the whole career woman thing, in my last marriage I was the breadwinner, worked full time in a big job in marketing blah blah. But I wasn't happy ... I felt annoyed I couldn't do housey stuff.

So now I'm remarried. Dh always tries to do things but I rather he didn't ... I am quite ocd and think my ways are best. :) I enjoy cleaning, seeing the house, nice, washing etc. I get a sense of pride out of knowing I've kept the house going for my family... And now I'm a sahm :) I love it :)

Well that's fine and lovely Wiggle. You are both happy. You don't spend your spare time moaning about having to do it all and infantalising your incapable DH.

OP I agree with you but you are going to get roasted on this thread. takes cover and watches from the sideline

Oh, I can cope, thundercat, don't worry.

The one comment that is said regularly on here is DP babysat for me while i went out er they are his kids too When your partner /husband does something for you it is because it is part of your shared role in the relationship. And this should be mutually appreciated

OP reading the thread i can see you can

No-one's dealing with the issue of sexist blokes having a role out of the home which is to the detriment of other women (presumably they don't matter?)

But inside the home, are you comfortable with the role models you are providing for your children? Do you bring up your daughters to aspire to careers or do you teach them to bake and clean?

I hate that as well, thundercat. You don't babysit your own children!

I haven't got a daughter, but why can't I inspire her to do both if I did?

And, honestly, what's so wonderful about a career?

"No one ever lay on their death bed wishing they'd spent more time at work." - No idea who said it.

Do you bring up your daughters to aspire to careers or do you teach them to bake and clean?

Both. Careers and cupcakes aren't mutually exclusive.

I'm not comfortable with teaching my daughter that baking and cleaning is all she is capable there is so much more females are able to to , even though home making and raising children is an important role as woman we can achieve other things to. The smugness some posters are using when they say they have more leasure time than heir DP's is amusing. As relying on someone else to provide for you and being that dependant means the way you spend your time and money is dependant on your DP/partner. No thank you

sorry about the spelling my phone has a mind of its own

I have a career (a bloody good one) and I bake :)

I have a cleaner though (which is one of the wonderful things about having a carer)

If you did have a daughter, and she was bright and able, and wanted to be a doctor, would you honestly say to her "What's so wonderful about a career?"

I would say it's a good job you don't have a daughter, but I suspect you have sons and I suspect some poor women will end up marrying them and dealing with their sexism in turn.

This was not supposed the be a thread attacking SAHMs. I used to be one. DH is a SAHD. What I take issue with is the notion that SAHPs or indeed any one member of a partnership is obliged to do all domestic tasks. Even if you have one partner working a hundred hours a week, they should be doing something at home, and should be spending some time with the children. Otherwise, why bother?

Um, no. It's not, thundercat. I do not ask my husband's permission to buy anything or if I can go out with my friends, beyond 'I'm out Friday night with my mates.'

I do also make some money myself freelancing, so maybe I'm the exception or something. But being responsible for the house and children does not have to mean answerable to your husband.

How ridiculous to think so.

There's a difference between having traditional roles because that's what suits that particular couple, and thinking that that's how everyone should live and therefore being sexist. I'm heterosexual, but that doesn't mean I'm homophobic and think everyone else should be heterosexual too. Similarly, just because my husband has a traditional role at home by his and my mutual consent doesn't mean that he thinks every other woman should make the same decision, and really it's quite unfair to think that men in that sort of situation are incapable of differentiating between their own particular circumstances and more general roles in society. Modern freedom of choice should encompass all possible dynamics, surely, not just those that wouldn't have been possible a hundred years ago?

Gee, my first sentence is "I don't have a daughter."

Perhaps you could learn how to read for comprehension before you start slamming other people.

And my son, at 3, already helps me cook and clean. So he's hardly being raised sexist or with sexism.

And, if she didn't want a career? That would be okay.

That's the part you narrow minded militant feminists miss all the fucking time.

It's a person's choice. Choice. Not your choice. My choice. My hypothetically daughter's choice.

So shut up already and go burn your bra or something.

sorry ive come to this thread a little late,ive been cleaning the house and cooking whilst dh has been on the computer.

BBL - need to cool the cakes ive baked.

'what's so wonderful about a career?'

Well: given that our children are highly likely to need to earn a living for 50 or so of their adult years, bearing in mind rising retirement ages/ house prices/ etc etc- I encourage my dd AND my ds to aspire to have interesting and meaningful work lives. The likelihood is, that's more likely to come about if they have career options, not simply menial job options. It's that simple really. It doesn't have to be a toss up between jetset career or cupcakes - its just living in the real world where earning a living is part of it.

The other thing that strikes me: if anyone genuinely believes "what's so great about a career?" I would question why they are happy for their partner to have one, simply to enable them to not have one themself. If you think the prospect of working is so awful, then its hardly fair to shift the entire load to your other half

My DH takes his gaming very seriously. He can't concentrate if he is playing and I am hoovering so he bought special noise blocking head phones

True fact