to be shocked by the amount of Stepford wives on Mumsnet

[LoopyLoopsCorgiPoops]

So many women on here either this it's fine to do everything in the house and with the children, or don't think it's fine yet put up with it. I simply could not live with an adult who thought they were more important and more deserving of leisure time than me. Why do they all put up with it?

"Who cares how other people choose to live? The dynamics within a family are the concern only of those living in it surely?"

Well I don't agree with that. If you live in a dynamic at home with female subservience being not just accepted, but being viewed as normal, then how does this translate to attitudes and behaviours outside the home? No man is an island and all that.

What I mean is, take a typical sexist bloke and take him out of his family environment and away from the women (mother, wife and probably unfortunately also daughters) who enable this behaviour. Now put him in the workplace. Do you see that he will always and inevitably be guilty of bias? He will always favour the male candidate over the female, either consciously or unconsciously. This is why salaries for working women are lower than that for working men.

Take that sexist bloke and put him in a role in the judiciary. He will pass harsher sentences against women. It is a fact that women do receive harsher sentences btw.

Take that sexist bloke and put him in the position of a law-maker in the house of commons. He will pass laws that discriminate (usually now only indirectly) against women.

It affects us all. It absolutely affects us all.

If they moan about it on MN or think that their way is right then YANBU

If they think it makes them a better mother/wife/woman than me then YANBU

If they want to bang on about how often they change their sheets/clean their cupboards out then YANBU

otherwise they can do what they like.

What AnnieL said

I've finally lost all patience with "Why are men so bad at ...?" complaints. The answer is "Because he thinks it's your job - and so do you."

You do sometimes get competitive Stepfording on Mumsnet, where some poor frazzled woman gets fragrantly dumped on by women bragging that they clean & sterilise the house, starch & iron the laundry, conduct a full beauty routine, run five charities and give their husband three blow-jobs every day while still enjoying a thrilling social life and coaching their well-behaved toddlers in calculus. Then they say "If I can do it, anyone can! "

Perhaps not anyone would want to? I used to have a SIL like that. She was quite an angry woman.

Annielobeseder, your sefless attitude is commendable but the tone coming across from you and OP is more "condescending", there is the automatic assumption that any woman who falls into the traditional "wifey" role is a "stepford wife" alluding to no brain, dumb robots, used etc, and people are pointing out that this is not always the case, there are many women here in loving, caring and yet traditional marriages here.

There's also your crass statement of " i hope they don't get taken for granted and left for a younger model" obviously if you share everything equally like yourself and OP then there's no chance of being left for a younger model .

Excuse, I am not subservient because I clean the bathroom. I am anything but subservient.

And there's the crux of the matter. Be a certain kind of feminist or you're not a feminist at all.

Which is just bullshit. Feminism is about choices. And supporting each other's choices.

Lady ,but I saw a man on embarrassing body's lactate ...so technically ?

xpost, usual :)

Okay, I'll give you that, droves, but it is surely the exception, not the rule.

And if you're gonna watch that kind of TV...

hermajesty he's gone to thailand.
And no, he's not a sex tourist. Sigh.

My husband is lazy. Do i care? NO he was lazy when i met him and is still lazy 20 years later.
Last weekend when we had our summer he could be found sitting in the garden reading his book with a beer. I was cutting the grass, weeding and planting up baskets. I could have sat in the garden with him as he wouldn't care if the grass was cut and we had weeds but no hanging baskets but i like doing these things.
I also like looking after my home and family. I like being busy and getting things done where as he goes out to work and that is about it.

Our life suits us. I am happy with my life and happy in my marriage and dont give a shiney shit if someone who lives in my computer thinks that makes me a stepford wife.

I'm shocked everlong. Simply shocked.

Gunz - I would argue that in a relationship where the man does not respect his partner and sees domestic work as beneath him, he obviously doesn't place much worth on her and is more likely to think nothing of replacing her when a better offer comes along.

To make my point again, if a coupe or happy with their domestic setup, there is no issue. Their own business and good for them.

It's the skivvies who are running around after men who treat them as domestic help that frustrate me. And since many of them think that it's normal for men to neither do any work around the house, nor wish to, I will continue to loudly and enthusiastically point out to them that it's NOT normal and they DON'T have to put up with it.

OP Have you considered that there may be other reasons why someone does most of the housework and childcare that do not involve the other party thinking they are more important or more deserving of leisure time. You are somewhat narrow minded and make a lot of assumptions.

Dh does recognise my value (at work or not tbh), so no angry bitterness here.

Well, I went to cook my family lunch ( ) and came back to all this!

Obviously the OP was short and made a lot of generalisations - there are many families will all kinds of set-ups, some may be healthy some not. If you want to be a martyr to your family then sue, that's none of my business. But those aren't the situations we hear about on MN. There is a constant flow of moaning about partners who do sod all. Well they do sod all because you allow them. If you are complaining about it, that means you are not happy with the situation. But so often women come here, complain about it then get on merrily scrubbing floors because they think the man of the house deserves a rest. That is what I object to.

I didn't put up with it, that's why I'm single - which is much easier.
I don't understand the Stepford wives either.
Housework is the worst work, I'd much rather sit in an office all day.

*sure not sue

You lot do understand the point of the Stepford film, don't you? Not that the wives were robots, but that the men wanted "perfect wives" so badly they were prepared to kill the ones they married.

I've not seen a whole lot on this thread to refute its premise that "perfect wifehood" is a male-originated ambition.

YANBU

not just on mn but EVERYWHERE

for example a good friend of mine was moaning on fb the other day that she felt poorly but her house was a mess and her DC were running riot and her dh not lifting a finger and in her words "just stepping over the mess and ignoring the kids"

everyone was posting stuff like, "awww, lol, men are soooo shit at housework aren't they haha" "they just don't see mess do they bless um LOL" etc etc

ffs. why oh why do women put up with it?

i would rather be single than be cleaning up after a manchild 24 / 7

Competitive house -wifing is rife on MN and in RL

HerMajestyQueenHillyzabethII - Bangkok?

Y, Loopy, my perfect (angry) SIL threw perfect parties where all the perfect wives were just downright rude to their husbands, behind their backs and to their faces. This "humour" is apparently normal amongst perfect wives. Which kind of made me wonder why perfect wives would think so badly of the husbands they were perfect for