to be shocked by the amount of Stepford wives on Mumsnet

[LoopyLoopsCorgiPoops]

So many women on here either this it's fine to do everything in the house and with the children, or don't think it's fine yet put up with it. I simply could not live with an adult who thought they were more important and more deserving of leisure time than me. Why do they all put up with it?

NUMBER! Number of Stepford wives!

returns to polishing husband's xbox

it works both ways. I've a friend who's husband is very anal about housework. He expects the house to look immaculate at all times and to be fair, he's always cleaning, tidying or polishing things himself. But he has been known to nag her about the housework!

you cannot micromanage your way out of an unequal relationship so i think no lists, asking DH to do job x or task y...you just agree who is responible for each general area and what is joint and get on with your tasks. and if their areas are not done to your precise standard, you get over it (as long as there is no serious safety issue).

i dont think its any different than treating someone with respect at work instead of micromanaging them.

Agree wasabi
Why should I ask DH to do anything !( or nag/sigh/huff or manipulate) Thats the whole point - its not MY cleaning/cooking/shopping .

Nothing makes me grit my teeth more than someone telling me DH is wonderful because he "helps" . He doesnt "help" he does his fair share as do the DC .

Has the OP been back to clarify what she meant? Didn't see posts from her but anyway I have to admit that I too am surprised, both IRL and MN, by the number of women out there who are very dissatisfied with the share their husbands do at home and can't seem to get him to pull his weight.

You have to admit, there are a couple of threads on here every few days along the lines of 'DH not doing his share at home' or 'DH won't make time for family'. It does seem to be a major issue for a lot of women. If you choose the 'traditional' roles willingly, it's one thing but often it's not willingly chosen and women are just left to shoulder the burden of housework and childcare alone.

Big respect to those of you who have honestly never ever asked their dh to do anything if I had a pound for every time I've reminded dh to finish that D.I.Y job, I'd be minted

there are a couple of threads on here every few days along the lines of 'DH not doing his share at home' or 'DH won't make time for family'

And then you ask about who does The Big Commute/DiY/Maintenance/Garden/Kids sports etc and a different picture often emerges...IMO the only useful measure is number of discretionary leisure hours

I have traditional marriage and am as happy with it. The reason I 'put up with it' is because I have chosen it and it works for me. Thanks for your concern though.

Agrees entirely with whatmeworry. Would say dh and I have similar; me probably marginally more.

Well I'm a lazy bitch who needs nagging by my long suffering DH.

So there.

still feel it's a wind up thread of some sort, just bizarre to focus AGAIN on role of women inside or outside the home and COMPARE our lives to death with each other

who cares? if we are happy, grasp it and enjoy it, if unhappy, work to change your life in some way. hard to do though.

what did OP want to achieve by this thread?

certainly not harmony between WOHM and SAHM as the analogy between SAHM being some kind of Stepford Wife was so mistakenly stated to begin with

eugh

This is nothing to do with SAHM / WOHM. I have done both happily. It is about women (mostly, perhaps men too, not so much on here or in my life) banging on about how they have to do everything themselves. Not a wind up at all.

And witht he exception of 'what should I name my guinea pig' type threads, what does anyone hope to achieve by starting any thread? Debate.

Probably debate Loopy
This is not SAH vs WOH .Many partners have a good balance within a "traditional marriage" and are respectful
Its about as you say women banging on about how they have to do everything themselves and WOH
Why do they bang on about it here and yet grit their teeth and allow their partners to completely take the proverbial .
Is it conditioning ,guilt ,society,lack of financial independence,lack of confidence or they cant face upheaval .
The men do their bit because they do the gardening ,DIY,car maintenance is hilarious - unless you own a bloody vineyard,are rebuilding your house or are involved in Formula one - it doesnt come anywhere near what the household needs to keep running !

Think of it in these terms : if you could WOH knowing that your DC were cared for,home cleaned and when YOU returned home there would be dinner cooked etc would you make a different choice ?? some would/some wouldnt ... but it would be REAL choice.

When someone says " Women cant have it all I usually reply "Really ? Why not ? Men have been having it all for years !"