To refuse my 9yr old a FB acc,even though her 9yr old friends have one?

[FreeBirdsFlying]

There seems to be a lot of bitchiness going on,on them and to be frank,don't want my daughter to participate.

My nieces have FB accounts - they live down under so we rarely see them. They asked me to be friends and I agreed because it gave them access to the photos I post of their cousin. All well and good. They were 10 when they started and friends with both their parents - that's my SIL's choice so while I might not think it a great idea it's not for me to interfere.
However, I did get involved when shortly after they joined, they posted their mobile phone numbers on their web page and asked their friends to post their back. By the time I saw it, about half a dozen kids had done so. Children I didn't know, but I now could see how to call them. I sent an email to SIL straight away and, as tactfully as I could, asked if she knew. She didn't and the phone numbers vanished just after.
The point is, out of eight or so 10 year old girls, only one had the sense to say 'I'm not writing my number on here as you don't know who is looking at it - it's not a good place to put this personal info.' Not one of the others saw anything wrong with it. To my mind, if you are going to let kids have accounts, you MUST talk to them about internet safety and what information should be kept away from the public domain.
And yes, I have been horrified at some of the things the kids write on each other's walls...had moments when I have felt very protective of the girls because some other 11 year old has called them something nasty online, but there's not much I can do so far away, even if it were my place to get involved.

usual I get where you're coming from but DD is 9,and a young nine. She dosen't have an email account,or a smart phone. She uses the family PC.
When she is on pop girl I always advise a username that is nothing like hers or anyone in her family or where she lives. Tell her to pick a name that could be anyone,anywhere and to never tell anyone who she is.

Her friend who she dosen't play with anymore is 9 going on 16. Has an ipad,smartphone,facebook and is down the town,hanging around til about 9:30pm. I had a look at her profile (completly unsecure),and there she is with a joke about blow jobs as her status. I've reported it to fb. Now I don't care if I sound precious but this is not the sort of world I want my child exposed to.

Sorry,meant to add,that its obviously a secret account as her second name is spelt differently and her parent is not on her friends list.

I think maybe at 9 you have a valid point, FBF. You can generally be more aware of what they are doing, and so probably have more control over them having an account or not. By the age of maybe about 14, that has gone I think. And then I think usual's point of view becomes more relevant. They can start accessing computers in internet cafes etc and you suddenly have no control over what they put on-line. At which point, it becomes vital that they know how to look after themselves on line.
So somehow, you need to have started teaching them about it before the time at which they can take themselves off to a computer that you don't even know they are using.

I agree that 9 might be too young for FB,I was responding more to the 'my teenagers will never have FB' posts

However I think you should teach internet safety as early as you can and not just ban the sites you don't understand or use yourself.

Ah I do try and teach safety,such as details etc,and DD often looks at my page when I'm on FB. I have told her that whatever you put on FB,belongs to FB and to be careful and I only accept friends that I know. I've told her about friend collectors and how they accept friends on FB and that they don't even know them in rl and how dangerous that is. That their friend with two children could actually be a sixty year old man with dozens of cats.

I have not got privacy settings on 15yo dd's FB account. Because quite frankly she is of an age where she could go into town and pick up a middle-aged bloke at a caff, should she feel so inclined. Certainly an age where she could set up a FB account on some other computer than mine and I couldn't police that. She could probably even get into a pub if that is what she wanted to do; she looks a good few years older than she is. She could certainly seek out drug dealers under pretence of a shopping expedition. If she wanted to.

In other words, she has got to an age where I have trust that the safety messages and generally common-sensical attitudes I have been trying to teach are going to be enough to keep her safe. Because otherwise, Facebook will be the least of my worries.

But a 9yo I do think I can police and would be prepared to do so.

My cousin had an account aged 11. A week or so after she friended me I reveived an irate mail from my aunt, cousin had seen some random joke I made a comment about on one of my own friend's account - how very dare I 'expose darling child to such filth'. She genuinely expected all adult 'friends' to moderate their posts. Keep the kids off Facebook please. If you will allow then then deal with the fact that they are in an adult evirnoment.

my DD is 8. she wont be getting fb until she is much much older. probably 16, but then i am dead strict and she knows i mean it, so wont bug me if i say no

Good luck!

Did you know you can restrict what some fb friends see on your walls?

Jins Wed 06-Jun-12 13:15:07
"my DD is 8. she wont be getting fb until she is much much older. probably 16, but then i am dead strict and she knows i mean it, so wont bug me if i say no

Good luck!"

Not impossible. Dd was 15. Very much because she saw the problems of FB.

Definitely not impossible I agree but it's as well to be prepared. I didn't allow DS to have a FB account when he was 13 - wanted him to wait until he was more sensible which may have been never but a friend helped him set one up. I spotted it when going through internet history.

The aftermath was awesome

My Dd is 8, and i let her play games on my account. Fortunately she hasn't asked for one of her own, and if she does, she won't get one.
My Niece 7, and my Nephews 9 all have them. My Sister said she monitors the accounts, but she didn't realise that one of my Nephews had unfriended her, and changed his password for well over a week. I think there's enough for young ones to deal with in rl, without going online.

My 9 yo daughter is nagging me to let her have a FB account and there is no way in the WORLD it is happening. I have seen the pages of some of her school friends and I was left open mouthed with shock and more than a bit of disgust. 8 and 9 year old girls are posting about who they have shagged and who they want to "suck off".

As someone already said earlier up thread, I don't care how precious or naieve it makes me appear, I will NOT have my kid exposed to that kind of thing when I have a way to prevent it. I know she is hearing it in the playground and there isn't anything I can do about that but she can whistle if she thinks she is having a FB before the age of about ooooh 25

My ds aged 6 has a Facebook he has very few friends, his Facebook has the highest security on there. He can't read or write but plays on the games.

The only reason he has one as he kept using my coins, mojo and other things on the apps

6???

6????

Am I the only one that thinks the Facebook games/requests/invites to play in so and sos farm are extremely annoying??

Also 6???? really? Because he used your coins? what??

And what's the problem, he has no photos, security is high, he cant read or write all he does is play games on there he doesn't even know the email address or password. What harm can he do

Cory, my DDs friend 15 run away with a 21 yo boy she met on FB, she would never have met him otherwise, she was talking to him for 5 months and her parents didn't know

They would have known if they checked her FB account, it might have saved them a lot of heartache.

Yes, they could pick up random strangers at 15 but it's more likely they will go and meet a FB friend they have been chatting to, don't you think?

Isn't there a lower age limit in the terms and conditions McHappy ?

9 is too young IMO, 6 definitely so. I'm sticking to 13. By the time my dc turn 13, hopefully it'll have died a death....[hopeful] [naive]

I believe you have to be 13 to have a Facebook account.

sorry Im still in shock that a 6 year old has a Facebook account? And how does McHappy make it so that he cannot write anything?? Confused.

McHappy then you are in breach of the terms and conditions no? Great example you're setting there.