Was I unreasonable here.

[Yummymummyyobe1]

I was going to name change for this but don't think it is necessery. Anyway here goes.

My DP, me and our DS1 live in quite a nice area. We are on first name terms with the three neighbours to the left of us and are quite friendly you know the sort of thing popping in for a cuppa, and neighbourhoog get togethers as well as lists of contact number and spare keys to one anothers homes.

Anyway to the right hand side there are how do I put this delicately?? a couple of properties where the famliy's/tenants are less then salubrious police visits are numerous and their genral behaviour is frightful for example their children seem to think it is more than acceptable to trespass on private property by climbing over the wrought iron work and playing chase across the four front gardens.

So today my DP and his father popped out for an hour whilst I stayed in with our DS1 whist he napped. Anway the door bell went and as bold as brass a member of the family to the right had the audacity to knock on the scrounge. We had just had a delivery of baby related items a new supply of nappies and formula you know the sort of thing. She stood on the doorstep and asked if I had some spare baby formula and nappies as they were sort this week. I politely said we didn't (a small white lie a know) anyway after this she stood there and asked if I was sure, as we have a small baby ourselves. At this my blood began to boil a little as no should mean no and not a chance to negotiate.

Anyway after storming down our front path and slamming the gate closed I overheard her say something about people like them. Ha what a nerve I think she has that very wrong and how we would help the people to the left (which I would as they put their famlies and children first).

The reason I said no are as follows:

1. They all have mobile phones
2. Most of them smoke
3. They always have a drink in their hand
4. Have Sky

under normal circumstances not an issue but if you can not afford to look after your child then some if not all the above are not needed, and surely any parent would put their child first before luxury items.

Was I unreasonable to turn her down based on the above grounds or should I have helped?

Thanks xx

Oh dear fucking lord please be a joke thread.

you were not being unreasonable. she had a damned cheek. give her/them nothing. the more they get the more they'll want. and get window locks etc, they'll be round robbing before long.

you were possibly not being unreasonable, but im afraid you sound like you are trying way to hard to sound 'above' the neighbours, which makes you sound quite unlikeable, and so then it starts to make you sound unreasonable simply because you sound like you want to be seen as superior.

had it been me, i would have probably given them a bit of formula and a couple of nappies "to see you through until you can get to the shop".

yes they were taking the piss.
but you sound like you enjoyed saying 'no' just a little too much.
Why come on MN and advertise what you did/said/ - its done now.

VicarInaTutu - Very diplomatic. I would have said 'to tide you over' but its the same as saying 'until you get to the shop'

I think the OP seems very smug. I read her comments about neighbours on a Chat thread.

I hope her DP never loses his job. And becomes a dole dosser!

How very bourgeois.

You can enact your affectations until the seas run dry but manners are a measure of the man. And you have none.
You behave as if you have some strange entitlement, but you can't be Royalty or the aristocracy as they have been brought up significantly better than you.
You confuse me with your obliviousness so I'm forced to conclude your family are desperate wannabe social climbers and you are, or seem to be rather unpleasant.
Anyone that would endure a baby's suffering because of their disapproval of the parents is vile.
What else would they do? Sell a couple of nappies and a few ounces of formula, that would get them exactly enough money for bugger all.
I was quite amused until people started vouching for you. You leave a thoroughly distasteful impression.

I actually can't believe this is serious. I thought it was a pisstake.

Slightly them and us, OP? SLIGHTLY?

I cannot imagine turning down a neighbour who asked me for something that would cost me a couple of quid at most.

What are you going to do if you ever need something urgently in the middle of the night and they're the only ones up? Because they sure as hell ain't gonna help you and quite right too.

yum, i have no idea why you are getting so much hassle about this. she was outrageously cheeky to ask, she'd clearly seen the delivery and thought you should fund her child-raising activities. you were right to refuse.
if you made this up, you made up something absolutely believable - there are some scumbags about in this world!

and if you want to sound 'above' the neighbours, why not? when was the last time you knocked on a door to ask for some basics? i'd consider it a new trend. next time you see a supermarket van, knock on at the house that's had a delivery, ask for a leg of lamb for the freezer...

get window locks etc, they'll be round robbing before long

So someone goes to borrow something and they're automatically a potential burglar...

lovebunny, so you'd rather see a child wet and hungry than donate something that cost a couple of quid?

I have been to my neighbours to borrow stuff, but I spose that's ok since I went to university and don't smoke.

Glad you're not my neighbour.

I see Punch and Judy are up and around tonight.

Your post is rather offensive OP. Are those judgey pants so high now they are strangling you?

I cannot wait for you appearing on the Relationships board in a few months.

I read the OP's threads on the Pregnancy section. I think she lives in a bubble. Lets hope darling DP, who she trusts explicitly doesn't jump ship and she has to claim benefits......

No, of course that could never happen._

delighted not to be your neighbour, yellowraincoat.
i don't find the OPs post offensive at all. she can be my neighbour. we wouldn't ask each other for anything and might well meet occasionally for a cup of tea. i note how well she gets on with her other neighbours.

oh FFS

yellowraincoat - you could be my neighbour anytime.

Dear Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet by those on 'the left' obvs)

I'll wager all your neighbours think you are a great big snooty knobber and snigger at you behind your back.

Anyway am so glad you are feeling smug about depriving a baby of a clean nappy and a feed. Well done you!

Xx

This doesn't ring very true as surely your doctor would have prescribed antibiotics you could take whilst breastfeeding rather than ones you couldn't. Think someone might be telling porkies here.

I would give you a OP, but since you are a lower social class than me and "less salubrious" I shall follow your lead and refrain from doing so.

OP, if they genuinely needed a bit of formula and a few nappies then I think you were being really off by refusing just because you think they're a bit rough. If a random stranger had knocked on your door asking for baby stuff I can understand being a bit , but this was a neighbour. And personally if I ran out of something I'd probably knock on the door of someone I knew was likely to have it (in this case you, as you have a small baby). I don't think her asking was rude or out of order, if it was a one-off.

I am by the fact that they don't have a baby though. I doubt they're planning to sell a few Pampers and half a cup of Cow & Gate to get money for drugs though, so they must surely be in need of them (or know someone who is).

CrispyCod Thank you as I have said they are pretty vile to people on the road the rest of the time.

VicarInaTutu I would never say I'm above anybody as at the end of the day we are all people. I just thought it seemed very strange to knock when you usually ignore a person and also to wait until I was in the house on my own.

thecook in the event either one of us lost our job we have a nest egg that would cover us for a few years. I would never take an illegal substance very naughty and not really the type of thing I want our DS being party to.

lovebunny thank you for your support and seeing things from our point of view. LOL at the comment about the delivery and asking for a leg of lamb. We do indeed get on very well with our other meighbours we even have keys for one anothers homes to water plants and put milk and bread in when we have been away etc.

Noqontrol I would rather not set the precedent as it becomes more difficult to refuse after it has been set.

MsPaperbackWriter I have allergies so have to be extremly careful what I take.

HRHcatgirl1976 no here thank you as I have a few pounds of baby weight to loose.

everlong it all depends how well you know the person in question. I would never ask a complete stranger for anything. It was nothing to do with how rough they are it is the fact that they are usually very rude to people and don't understand that their children playing in the front are in fact tresspasing and disregard our requests that the cease this. We do help the neighbours we know.

MissPentaceratops would you help epole who are in extremly rude to you and have no respect towards us. Even a simple request that their older children do not play on our property or touch the car (which they have).

xx

I'd have had to give the formula and nappies because I couldn't bear to think of a baby being hungry and dirty, especially hungry. If I was excusively breastfeeding rather than combi feeding, I'd have probably offered to fill a bottle. I'm a bit of a squirrel when it comes to stocking up on things because I hate the thought of running out of anything (aka probably have more nappies in various sizes than the local tesco), so I have plenty to spare if there's a genuine need for help.

Why would anyone not give a baby a couple of nappies and some formula?

Why? Why?