Was I unreasonable here.

[Yummymummyyobe1]

I was going to name change for this but don't think it is necessery. Anyway here goes.

My DP, me and our DS1 live in quite a nice area. We are on first name terms with the three neighbours to the left of us and are quite friendly you know the sort of thing popping in for a cuppa, and neighbourhoog get togethers as well as lists of contact number and spare keys to one anothers homes.

Anyway to the right hand side there are how do I put this delicately?? a couple of properties where the famliy's/tenants are less then salubrious police visits are numerous and their genral behaviour is frightful for example their children seem to think it is more than acceptable to trespass on private property by climbing over the wrought iron work and playing chase across the four front gardens.

So today my DP and his father popped out for an hour whilst I stayed in with our DS1 whist he napped. Anway the door bell went and as bold as brass a member of the family to the right had the audacity to knock on the scrounge. We had just had a delivery of baby related items a new supply of nappies and formula you know the sort of thing. She stood on the doorstep and asked if I had some spare baby formula and nappies as they were sort this week. I politely said we didn't (a small white lie a know) anyway after this she stood there and asked if I was sure, as we have a small baby ourselves. At this my blood began to boil a little as no should mean no and not a chance to negotiate.

Anyway after storming down our front path and slamming the gate closed I overheard her say something about people like them. Ha what a nerve I think she has that very wrong and how we would help the people to the left (which I would as they put their famlies and children first).

The reason I said no are as follows:

1. They all have mobile phones
2. Most of them smoke
3. They always have a drink in their hand
4. Have Sky

under normal circumstances not an issue but if you can not afford to look after your child then some if not all the above are not needed, and surely any parent would put their child first before luxury items.

Was I unreasonable to turn her down based on the above grounds or should I have helped?

Thanks xx

He didn't just mess with it sooty, he shoved his power tool in there.

It made it quite difficult for my Husband to enter last night...

Flisspaps Have you pinched yourself I always do that when I doubt my very existance. No bubbles here I'm afraid as I have been very unwell this week with a kidney, eye and ear infection. I have not been resting enough according to the HV. Rest with a new baby, Any bubbles there Flisspaps xx

Xx

MissTapestry thank you. Perhaps I am a little unrealistic in what I expect, and thank you for your honesty.

WorraLiberty I say.

xx

DuelingFanjo I can assure you it is very true indeed. xx

Good greif! I am no soft touch, but I would give just about anybody nappies and formula for a baby if they needed it enough to ask me. Well, if I had them, but I am breastfeeding, so I suppose I could offer them a squirt? Surely that would determine how much they needed it?!

It's not the done thing... honestly? I have had to rely on the kindness of strangers more than once and wouldn't hesitate to help with a genuine request - which this sounded like!

This thread is making me - this small gesture from you could've made a big difference to the current dynamics of 'them and us'...

Ah well, am off to bed - here's hoping you're not disturbed by a hungry baby all night

*He didn't just mess with it sooty, he shoved his power tool in there.

It made it quite difficult for my Husband to enter last night...*

Worra you owe me a new keyboard. I've just spluttered coffee all over this one

OP, you know earlier when a couple of people asked you to stop being weird?

Well I'm glad you ignored their requests because this thread has really made me laugh

No probs OP, I always think life would be nice if it magically happened the way you want it, but I'm more of a miserable bastard pessimist I'm afraid.

midori1999 I usually breastfeed so the formula is just until I am well enough to BF again. Perhaps I was being slightly them and us about things but they have been unreasonable in the past. xx

sooty ask the OP if she can spare one but ffs tell her you've come from the left!

"I usually breastfeed so the formula is just until I am well enough to BF again" are you pumping to maintain your supply?

Skillbo perhaps I was a little unreasonable but my mother always taught us to look after your own first. Gosh that sounds terrible doesn't it. Perhaps there is a little too much of them and us on the road.

WorraLiberty I do wish I could clink a glass of something withyou.
MissTapestry perhaps I have had things far to easy in life and forget that sometimes.

Anyway we are all off to bed. xx

yummy only the bubbles in a bottle of Stella Artois.

I am indeed as I would feel awful if I dried up during this time DuelingFanjo

WorraLiberty we do indeed have a couple of spare keyboards.

xx

Flisspaps I tell a lie I did have lemonade, so some bubbles. xx

I meant to ask you about expressing to maintain your supply earlier OP. Could the GP not have prescribed something to take while BF? I was on Augmentin (strong ABs) when DS was 3wo and could still BF safely. If you don't pump/express, your supply will go.

Flisspaps might have to ask the Dr about another AB. Been pumping like a mad woman (in fact I think daisy the cow goes to milking less) xx

I don't see what harm could be done by giving her a few nappies and a bit of formula to tide her over. You say her youngest is a toddler so wouldn't have needed them anyway, you could have asked about that, maybe it was a visiting family member.

You may think it 'not the done thing' to ask strangers for help, maybe that is what was done in your family, not all of us were raised that way thankfully. What a horrible society it would be if nobody was prepared to help anyone who wasn't their friend or in the same social class.

Any of us could find ourselves in a situation where we need kindness from a stranger or neighbour we don't know very well.

Wait. This is serious?

OP - YABU. You sound horrible, your neighbour must have been completely desperate to ask for your help. You should have given her the nappies, the formula and asked if she was short of anything else. xx

WTF OP - deying a one off request for a couple of nappies and formula! You sound utterly horrible. Complete strangers would have been more helpful than you have been to your neighbour.

Hope you never get into a situation where you have to rely on the kindness of others!

Well this thread is strange.

I would have given the items. You sound very mean OP. I always try and help other people. You never know, one day you might need help.

I am on JSA at the moment. No kids. Despite worrying about paying the mortgage, on Easter Saturday I bought dog food for a local homeless guy's dog. On Easter Sunday, I went to my local Tesco as usual to forage for reduced fruit and veg. I then planned to go to Evensong. I bought my first ever scratchcard and won £1000, which I paid to the mortgage company. I had fuck all money but I still helped out someone worse off than me.

nah, you weren't being unreasonable, I'd have told them to fuck off as well