Was I unreasonable here.

[Yummymummyyobe1]

I was going to name change for this but don't think it is necessery. Anyway here goes.

My DP, me and our DS1 live in quite a nice area. We are on first name terms with the three neighbours to the left of us and are quite friendly you know the sort of thing popping in for a cuppa, and neighbourhoog get togethers as well as lists of contact number and spare keys to one anothers homes.

Anyway to the right hand side there are how do I put this delicately?? a couple of properties where the famliy's/tenants are less then salubrious police visits are numerous and their genral behaviour is frightful for example their children seem to think it is more than acceptable to trespass on private property by climbing over the wrought iron work and playing chase across the four front gardens.

So today my DP and his father popped out for an hour whilst I stayed in with our DS1 whist he napped. Anway the door bell went and as bold as brass a member of the family to the right had the audacity to knock on the scrounge. We had just had a delivery of baby related items a new supply of nappies and formula you know the sort of thing. She stood on the doorstep and asked if I had some spare baby formula and nappies as they were sort this week. I politely said we didn't (a small white lie a know) anyway after this she stood there and asked if I was sure, as we have a small baby ourselves. At this my blood began to boil a little as no should mean no and not a chance to negotiate.

Anyway after storming down our front path and slamming the gate closed I overheard her say something about people like them. Ha what a nerve I think she has that very wrong and how we would help the people to the left (which I would as they put their famlies and children first).

The reason I said no are as follows:

1. They all have mobile phones
2. Most of them smoke
3. They always have a drink in their hand
4. Have Sky

under normal circumstances not an issue but if you can not afford to look after your child then some if not all the above are not needed, and surely any parent would put their child first before luxury items.

Was I unreasonable to turn her down based on the above grounds or should I have helped?

Thanks xx

Everlong the list was to make a point that people can do without said items if it means that their child doesn't go without.

karmabeliever thank you.

facejacker would you help people who are rude to you and do not understand that their children should not be playing on our property?? Perhaps there is a them and us on the road but they are just a guilty of this as the rest of us.

xx

and your point to me is??

op. i think you are coming across on here as self righteous, vein, unpleasant, snobbish, precious, judgemental and prejudiced.

you are making your self sound way worse than your sky watching, drink toting, cigarette smoking, less salubrious neighbours quite frankly.

you clearly posted this for a reason, and i would wager it is sport for you. you are playing the baiting game.

well best of luck and all but im hiding this thread because you sound deeply deeply unpleasant.

OP, thank you for your response. I'm afraid I am still a little confused as you did give your reasons for saying no quite specifically on your OP.

I also still think YAB a bit U to refuse formula or nappies because they are rude. Their baby or the third party's baby has not been rude to you. You could have said "Here you are, I'm happy to help out THIS ONE TIME".

Anyway, here's a tip to help you out next time you are shopping in person, put a pack of nappies under the trolley. The checkout operator won't see them but if security do, smile, say "mummy brain" and pay for them. If no-one sees them, result, you can give the free pack to the scum next door without any financial worries. Then you can also swop stealing and scrounging stories with them

(true story, apparently neighbours of ours have 3 children and have never paid for a nappy in their lives )

Ilovesooty....are you calling me common?
;)

Why on earth didn't you just shoot them and have done?

Hobnobs - perish the thought

yummy, maybe you could've killed 2 birds with one stone, and just said (as you were giving her TWO nappies and ONE day's worth of milk!) could she keep her kids from playing in your front /back/whatever garden...??

you did give your reasons for saying no quite specifically on your OP

Of course she did. She's wriggling and drip feeding to get a more acceptable response.

Thanks ilovesooty I had never heard the phrase before.

facejacker in hindsight I might have been a little more charitable if I hadn't been ill and short tempered. Although something deep down tells me that it could have opened the flood gates for other requests.

xx

Chavvery, salubery, scroungery... and now, thievery OAM! Whatever becomes of this world :(

You do know that powder formula goes off if you don't use it within a certain amount of time (think it is 30-45 days, but could be wrong). Would make more sense for someone who is BF to buy ready made milk "just incase". Seems odd you'd have powder milk if you're BF tbh.

If you are FF, why not come out and say. You're not going to get ridiculed for it you know.

babylann

Got a load more if you're interested

Yummy your speech is quite arcane, have you been transported here from another era?. (I'm not knocking, I like it).

And I think you know YABU, or you wouldn't have given your refusal a second thought, let alone it's own post on here.

I dont understand why everyone is slamming the OP Its bizarre that someone would ask for something like that from people they dont know, Nappies and formula milk are expensive, and some of the posters on here are just being vile for the sake of it.

OAM2009 I would feel very naughty doing that and guilt would plague me. I was very angry when I originally posted and didn't think it through fully before hitting the post button. Hindsight is a wonderful as my mother would say.

facejacker I doubt they would have agreed as their take is children are children and why shouldn't they play.

xx

i dont think it really matters if its reasonable or not, after all its just one of those things you would either do or not do irrespective of how reasonable it is or isant.

for what its worth i would have helped but i also wouldnt put myself in the possition where i would have to ask for that sort of help from a near stranger.

perhaps forging links with them could be a handy way of getting them to respect your garden ect.

and no im not shareing my goat

Thank you OAM!

But I must pass on this occasion. I do not engage with less than salubrious types. I bet you have SKY as well

I live on an estate and all although most people here are on minimum wage and not very rich, they are friendly and definitely not scroungers, i think asking for formula is ridiculous but i would have probably given one nappy. OP you know your neighbours we dont, so trust your judgement.

FWIW, I probably would have given them the nappies and the formula because I'm a coward when it comes to conflict with neighbours.

Many years ago, I used to live next door to someone who saw me smoking in my back garden, and then thought it was appropriate to lean over the garden wall and bang on my window at all times of the day to ask if she could "crash a fag", even at 8am. I always obliged because she was bigger than me.

I dont think you can compare a squirt of suncream with a whole pack of nappies and tin of formula?

Why thank you kungfupannda I do have a habit of waffling a little at times.

JubileeSchmoobilee our LO is MF as he is very hungry and it means my DP can bond more, it is also for situations like this whilst I'm unwell as well as having it in for friends/family.

ThePathanKhansWitch No I wish I was from another time sometimes, you are not the first person to mention my use of language, my boss thinks it is rather nice if not old fashioned. Perhaps deep down I did think I was in the wrong refusing to help, but I can'y change things now.

Thank you thundercat04

xx

Jubilee- she won't admit to formula feeding because she's an NCT yummy mummy who uses the nappy company (whatever that is) and has a frontage and a nanny. I believe this is what you girls call a 'stealth boast', is it not? OP- you sound truly odious.

You should read your own thread, op. You keep changing your story.

Is op a police person? "said" family asked for "said" items etc etc...