Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tight Wad friend and Street Party dilemma - quick advice please, have to go soon!!

196 replies

VonHerrBurton · 04/06/2012 12:19

Local-ish street party starting in about half an hour. All lovely stuff planned for dc all around same age (8 9 10 11) Next door neighbour and I with our dc who are good friends, planned a couple of weeks ago to attend, my dh is at work all day as is her dp. Or so I thought. She rocked up about 20 mins ago, said she fancied some kid free time with dp who is off, dumped her 2 (excited beyond belief) dc with me and legged it.

We have to take our own food, drink, seats etc, I was just planning on nipping to Tesco then going straight there with my one dc (street party not actually on our street, a mile or so away) So now they've disappeared and I am ROYALLY pissed off. I'm guess I'm going on my fucking own with 3 kids and now I'm expected to feed and water them. I asked her about food when we spoke about it a couple weeks ago and she seemed a bit miffed that we 'had' to take stuff, she's the type who'd bring a bottle of cheapo wine and drink all the Chablis at parties.

I have to take them and cater for them, don't I? WWYD?

OP posts:
LadyTeeAndBiscuits · 04/06/2012 12:21

Why did you let her get away?! Call her mobile and tell her to come back and get her children. If she doesn't, take them and then present her with an invoice.

HeadfirstForHalos · 04/06/2012 12:21

You just let her dump them?

Springsister · 04/06/2012 12:22

Go round there now. Say the following.

Ha ha don't be daft I'm not going to take all three kids on my own. Come with me and Fgs chip in for some food you daft mare. Unless you want to fall out with me?

Come on we are going in a minute.

Walk off towards your car.

Good luck

cwtch4967 · 04/06/2012 12:23

NO WAY would I be taking her children if she dumped them on me! Time to stand up and tell her straight, she is way out of order!

LisaLaundryThatsLAAANDRY · 04/06/2012 12:24

Has she got a phone.I'd phone her to come and get them now.Cheeky rude cow.

ApocalypseThen · 04/06/2012 12:24

I'd say don't let the poor children suffer, but clarify with your friend that if she ever puts you in a position like that again, she can consider herself defriended.

Original poster
VonHerrBurton · 04/06/2012 12:24

She's gone out! Car's gone!

OP posts:
supernannyisace · 04/06/2012 12:24

Cheeky mare! Yes, it looks like you have no choice now without disappointing Dc. Taxi em all , get a recipt. Bill your 'friend'. Same with your TEsco receipt. Hope u all have a good time anyway.

WhatWouldJoanJettDo · 04/06/2012 12:24

Why didn't you say no? I'd call her, but I'm betting she'll not answer. Looks to e like you're stuck.

LightbulbSoup · 04/06/2012 12:25

What a user she is! I think I would take them because she clearly can't be arsed now and isn't going to go. However, if you're going to Tesco I'd present her with the receipt when she collects her children and say this is how much she's due you. Then I'd cut all contact with her. Bloody cheek!

WenTheEternallySurprised · 04/06/2012 12:26

So knock on her door if she's home/call her if she's not and tell her to come collect her kids or she'll find them on her doorstep when she returns. If you don't have her number might one of her DC?

Nanny0gg · 04/06/2012 12:27

Have a great time with the children.

When you give them back later, ask for a contribution towards your costs and tell her she's never getting away with that trick again.

FoofFighter · 04/06/2012 12:27

Not fair on the kids to not take them now, so take them, present "friend" with a bill for the things you bought them (put them through the till seperately) and warn her if she ever does anything so cheeky and rude as this again that you will no longer be her friend.

WenTheEternallySurprised · 04/06/2012 12:27

(And when you call her dial 141 first Wink ).

MeCookGoodSock · 04/06/2012 12:27

I would call ring her and call her out on it. I would say, I was looking forward to enjoying my bank holiday as much as everyone else, but my enjoyment doesn't come from the expectation that I'm ok with babysitting other people's children while they have some fun time out! Ask her where is the compromise? What's in it for you?

She'll get the gist.

LisaLaundryThatsLAAANDRY · 04/06/2012 12:28

Sounds like it all happened so quick that op didn't have a chance to say no

MeCookGoodSock · 04/06/2012 12:28

PS: As for the children, your friend will be letting her children down, not you. The arrangements were that you would go together, right?

WenTheEternallySurprised · 04/06/2012 12:30

That it's not fair on the other kids is not the OP's problem. She hasn't caused this, the kids' mother has. If the NDN's kids don't get to go because of the mother that's down to her to expain to them, not for the OP to remedy.

FoofFighter · 04/06/2012 12:32

But if she doesn't take them it's also her and her own child that will miss out. they've gone out, they aren't going to answer the phone or come back now are they. If they have the brassneck to do this they won't care.

Nanny0gg · 04/06/2012 12:32

And when you have 'The Conversation', remember to start with 'Did you mean to be so rude?'...

scuzy · 04/06/2012 12:32

and before you drop them home give them a bag of skittles and spike their juice with red bull!

Lambzig · 04/06/2012 12:33

Thats awful, I bet she did it so quickly that you were just not able to think fast enough to say no. Her poor DC, they probably want to spend time off with their parents too.

I would try and call her and say that you cant take them without food, but I think you are probably going to have to take them. Definitely ask her for money afterwards though. 3 children round tesco on a bank holiday, dont envy you.

WorraLiberty · 04/06/2012 12:33

dumped her 2 (excited beyond belief) dc with me and legged it

No she didn't, don't be such a drama queen.

You obviously agreed to take her kids otherwise you would have said "Excuse me (as she's running away) but you've forgotten your children" Hmm

She sounds very rude and entitled but you sound like a martyr.

Either ring her and tell her to bring food and drink for you to take, or ring her and return her children.

DontmindifIdo · 04/06/2012 12:33

Call her on her mobile now, say you were too in shock to say anything, but you're really angry she's just dumped her children on you without bothering to check first, you won't be taking them to the party and if she's not back to pick them up in 10 minutes you'll be calling the police and saying she's abandoned her DCs with you. Then hang up. (Don't actually call the police/social services on her, if she/her DH doesn't turn up at yours in the next 20 minutes, go out to the party with all the DCs.)

BTW - for me this would mean my friendship with this person is over, I couldn't ever arrange to do anything with them again for fear they'd do the same thing. If the best case situation is after today you'll just be on smiling terms and saying "yes, we should do something soon, but we're super busy" and then never actually meeting up, you might as well go nuclear.

ApocalypseThen · 04/06/2012 12:34

No, it's not the OP's fault, and it is their mum's. However, they're stuck in this horrible situation as well. They're looking forward to a party, they've been dumped on someone who doesn't want them by their parents...sometimes you've just got to be the bigger person. I'm sure the OP would feel worse if the children had an awful day and understood how much of a burden they were to everyone once the dust settles.

It's not fair on the OP, but sometimes we all do things just to be nice even if it's not really up to us.