Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tight Wad friend and Street Party dilemma - quick advice please, have to go soon!!

196 replies

VonHerrBurton · 04/06/2012 12:19

Local-ish street party starting in about half an hour. All lovely stuff planned for dc all around same age (8 9 10 11) Next door neighbour and I with our dc who are good friends, planned a couple of weeks ago to attend, my dh is at work all day as is her dp. Or so I thought. She rocked up about 20 mins ago, said she fancied some kid free time with dp who is off, dumped her 2 (excited beyond belief) dc with me and legged it.

We have to take our own food, drink, seats etc, I was just planning on nipping to Tesco then going straight there with my one dc (street party not actually on our street, a mile or so away) So now they've disappeared and I am ROYALLY pissed off. I'm guess I'm going on my fucking own with 3 kids and now I'm expected to feed and water them. I asked her about food when we spoke about it a couple weeks ago and she seemed a bit miffed that we 'had' to take stuff, she's the type who'd bring a bottle of cheapo wine and drink all the Chablis at parties.

I have to take them and cater for them, don't I? WWYD?

OP posts:
bruxeur · 04/06/2012 12:34

Double espresso each and a new puppy.

glenthebattleostrich · 04/06/2012 12:34

Sod asking for a contribution. Inform her she owes you for an afternoons babysitting (if I work bank holidays I charge £6 per hour per child) and for food, drinks and transport.

And defriend the using cow anyway.

anychocswilldo · 04/06/2012 12:34

Take them, try to enjoy the day with all 3 of them. There's nothing u can do now so u might as well make the best if it. I would then confronted her what the hell she thought she was doing later (not in front of the kids) I wouldn't want to continue with this friendship after this as she has prob planned this the whole time. Not a friendship I would want.

Flisspaps · 04/06/2012 12:34

Phone her. Tell her you will not be taking responsibility for her children and to get back, and that she's got a fucking nerve dumping them on you without asking.

glenthebattleostrich · 04/06/2012 12:35

Yeah, don't forget to make sure their food contains lots of e numbers, coke and anything likely to send them hyper!

Springsister · 04/06/2012 12:35

Ok. Go and enjoy the party. Take lots of photos of everyone enjoying themselves.

When its over return the kids in silence.

Start to plot your revenge ;)

Dawndonna · 04/06/2012 12:36

'she fancied some kid free time'
Are you her childminder? I assume it's time and a half for a bank holiday.

Nagoo · 04/06/2012 12:36

how? you mean she came round your house, rang the bell, and raced back to her car, leaving tyre marks on the road?

You must have agreed to take the children, surely?

Where has she gone?

Antidote · 04/06/2012 12:37
  1. Let her dc choose their own food in Tesco
  2. Pay for theirs & yours separately
  3. Give her the bill when she returns.
  1. Tomorrow, get your arse round to her house at crack of sparrow farts, leave your dc with a cheery wave, thanking her for returning the babysitting favour and GO OUT FOR THE DAY.
hairylemon · 04/06/2012 12:37

She literally legged it? Before you had chance to say "no"?

really?

WorraLiberty · 04/06/2012 12:38

I'd love to hear the NDN's version of events because I refuse to believe she just said "I fancy some kid free time with my DH" and then left her children with the OP and ran away.

It just doesn't add up.

PrettyPrinceofParties · 04/06/2012 12:38

I 100% agree with DontmindifIdo. Very well put. I too would be furious and it would be the end of the friendship, especially as she has form with the cheapo wine!

Original poster
VonHerrBurton · 04/06/2012 12:38

The biggest issue is not taking her dc, they're lovely, it's just I know she will say 'you shouldn't have bothered buying food for mine, they've eaten, I wasn't going to' etc. There's no way I'd turn up at a party someone else has gone to the trouble of planning and organising for the sake of any old Tom Dick and Harry's dc to be welcomed to - without so much as a fucking packet of crisps. No way.

It's just ruined the day for me - the thought of coming home to an argument with her. I'm not good at arguments, I fold too easily.

OP posts:
hairylemon · 04/06/2012 12:41

So why didn't you just say hang on a fucking minute you've left your kids? Confused

Springsister · 04/06/2012 12:41

You don't have to have the argument today. Deal with her later.

WorraLiberty · 04/06/2012 12:42

Then why did you agree to take her children?

And please don't say you refused and she still 'dumped' them.

MeCookGoodSock · 04/06/2012 12:43

Your friend knows you are a softy who folds too easily, and that is precisely why she has done this and she knows she will get away with it. You will take her children, and you'll feed them, and you'll return them and tell her what a fab time you've all had.

roundtable · 04/06/2012 12:45

Offer the children cigarettes, alcohol and teach them as many swear words as you can.

Then feed them full of cake and fizzy, drive them around some roundabouts at high speed and then drop them off home. Grin

She is a cheeky devil!

PissyDust · 04/06/2012 12:46

Sounds very strange. I can't imagine arranging a day out and then legging it!

catpark · 04/06/2012 12:47

Have you tried phoning her mobile ? Tell her she has to come back, she can't just dump her children on you and expect you to be o.k. with that.

Nagoo · 04/06/2012 12:48

I wouldn't buy a load of expensive food. You won't get the money back off her.

Original poster
VonHerrBurton · 04/06/2012 12:49

Btw, Worra the way I described it is what happened. I didn't expect her to say what she did, didn't expect to see her dp with her (in the car) and yes, the kids did come in over-excited and chattering loudly. In the midst of it all she sort of said 'X is off now haven't seen him all week fancy a bit of kid free time'

Maybe I thought she was going to the car to get her chairs and food, but she didn't, they drove off. That's what happened.

I'm not being a martyr, thanks for your helpful contribution though - I understand it could seem that way and it's fair to question 'what actually happened'.

Thanks so much everyone for you speedy input - I really have to go! Maybe it will all work out and I will get home to her money in an envelope, who knows.

OP posts:
anychocswilldo · 04/06/2012 12:49

Well don't argue! Return her dc's in silence and just ignore any phone calls or knocks on the door from her. However u do have a right to be angry and u can convey this without turning it into an argument! A calm 'I don't appreciate u using me as an unpaid babysitter' or 'that isn't the kind of behaviour I expect from a friend' should be enough to tell her u aren't happy. I suspect the reason she did this is because she knows u aren't good with confrontation and doesn't expect any come back.

MammaBrussels · 04/06/2012 12:50

Definitely feed the kids LOADS of chocolate, sweets and red bull then let them roll around in a muddy field and traipse through loads of dog shit on the way home. What a cheeky cow.

Nagoo · 04/06/2012 12:52

you have to go and enjoy the day with the DC and forget about her.

If the DC are lovely then think of it as treating them, rather than doing something for her benefit.

And really, toughen up FFS. You can't let people walk all over you this way. You had a choice when she started to leave your house. You could have said NO. it's easy. It's short, snappy and stops you being a martyr.