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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate the term 'full time mother'?

320 replies

MammaTJ · 04/06/2012 01:39

Seriously, this really gets my goat. I work. I have worked most of my childrens lives. I like the work I do and choose to work nights so I don't miss out on things like sports days etc, just miss out on sleep.
This does not make me a part time mother!! I never stop being a mum and putting my kids first for a second!
Also, their dad 'babysitting' while I work. Does that mean I babysit while he is at work?

OP posts:
saladcream · 04/06/2012 22:45

So here we go. It devalue SAHM time.

scottishmummy · 04/06/2012 22:45

keep up karma
I'm not commenting on quality or delivery
I'm pointing out the obvious difference between a cm,self employed worker
and housewife

SeasonOfTheWitch · 04/06/2012 22:47

I don't think the payment or the external checks are the defining elements here. The core work involved is the same - childcare.

Am I imagining the venom you're spitting as you type 'housewife' sm? Seems the oddest, least accurate, most archaic and most disliked term - I wonder why you choose to use that one. Smile

fedupofnamechanging · 04/06/2012 22:48

But you are though SM, otherwise what's the point of mentioning it at all?

greenbananas · 04/06/2012 22:50

I agree with karma - I was providing exactly the same level of care as a SAHM as I now do as a childminder. Only now Ofsted has certified that I am okay Smile My job has not changed! (apart from the paperwork). I would argue that most SAHMs are providing this level of quality care, and that it should be recognised as a valuable use of their time and expertise.

scottishmummy · 04/06/2012 22:50

but hang on,cm assert,rightly they are self employed
for profit
running own childcare business in their home, having to adhere to external regulation etc.it's not at all like watch own kids

SeasonOfTheWitch · 04/06/2012 22:52

what is your point sm?

scottishmummy · 04/06/2012 22:54

interesting
post on cm board,that cm no different to housewife.same delivery care, same role etc

IKilledIgglePiggle · 04/06/2012 22:55

I called scottishmummy a c**t back in the day under an old user name, I always felt bad about it...............

peanutbutter38 · 04/06/2012 22:55

sm is basically making the point that she doesn't have much time for women who choose to stay at home to raise their children.

scottishmummy · 04/06/2012 22:56

keep up
it was said cm same as housewife
not so
cm is working self employed. working.fir profit
housewife not employed,no financial transaction

fedupofnamechanging · 04/06/2012 22:56

SM, I have been both a SAHM and a CM, so am probably in a better position than you to comment on this.

When I'm looking after my own dc, I don't have to have paperwork to show that safety standards are being met. However, those safety standards are still being met, so no difference. I don't have anyone coming around to check up on me, but if they did, they would find my home to be much the same when looking after my own dc as it was when looking after someone else's.

I'd agree that cm feels more like work, because I didn't have the emotional investment in those children that I have in my own. But the actual physical tasks were much the same.

peanutbutter38 · 04/06/2012 22:57

maybe she's just sad she can't be at home more often for her kids and justifies her position by slagging of stay at home Mums?

SeasonOfTheWitch · 04/06/2012 22:59

I thought that was the point peanut but thought I'd check as there might have been an argument of merit there - clearly not.

scottishmummy · 04/06/2012 22:59

rigtht, agreement
cm is indeed working it enables working mums to work.self employed for what's not to like

greenbananas · 04/06/2012 23:00

scottishmummy, are you saying that an activity only has value if it can be measured as a financial transaction?

SeasonOfTheWitch · 04/06/2012 23:01

no - more than an activity only has value if it doesn't involve staying at home to look after your own children. Grin

I'm getting puerile now - i'm off.

SeasonOfTheWitch · 04/06/2012 23:02

more that

peanutbutter38 · 04/06/2012 23:02

a psychologist would say: 'I feel bad about my choices, so I'm going to make you feel bad about yours so we're quits'

scottishmummy · 04/06/2012 23:04

gb you said cm same as housewife
apparently cm's agree with you
I'm surprised, given the regulation and demands of being cm

fedupofnamechanging · 04/06/2012 23:07

It's not exactly the same SM - only it's not so different that cm = valuable and sahm = waste of time, which is how you seem to feel about it.

scottishmummy · 04/06/2012 23:10

stop paraphrasing erroneously
cm valuable role, enables parents to work. do keep up

peanutbutter38 · 04/06/2012 23:12

do bore off

scottishmummy · 04/06/2012 23:14

lol,have you stretched your vocabulary with that riposte

PulchritudinousOne · 04/06/2012 23:17

I have a toddler at home all day at the moment.
When she starts school in Sept, I can perfectly imagine saying I am a part time mum, because she will no longer be with me napping with me , eating every meal with me , asking for stories 300 times a day .

I have no problem with that. I will no longer be mothering all the time.

Shrugs.

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