to hate the term 'full time mother'?

[MammaTJ]

Seriously, this really gets my goat. I work. I have worked most of my childrens lives. I like the work I do and choose to work nights so I don't miss out on things like sports days etc, just miss out on sleep.
This does not make me a part time mother!! I never stop being a mum and putting my kids first for a second!
Also, their dad 'babysitting' while I work. Does that mean I babysit while he is at work?

I think sayin homemaker would raise a snigger
run naked down sauchiehall st, just a regular night at the garage

I say full time mother, part time lover.

I'm sure there's a song in there somewhere.

yes but I've never been to me...

Isn't being a full time mother AND full time employee/wohm as silly as saying 'I'm going to give it 200%'? Please don't rise to that by the way!

I am a teacher who is not working at the moment as I am looking after my DS (and there are no f'ing jobs for teachers here!) I hate describing myself as a SAHM, full time mum, homemaker or housewife. I am very sensitive when asked what I do, as I do not feel worthwhile staying at home looking after my child. This is prob because I found my last job bloody hard and staying at home is pleasant in comparison.

Am I the only SAHM that doesn't actually give two shits what anyone thinks, I can honestly say with my hand on my heart that I don't care, you wanna judge me, well that says more about you than it does about me.

I won't be a SAHM forever but right now it suits and I enjoy it, so what.......so fucking what, I would love for some one to argue this with me irl........I have a copy of the Feminine Mystique on my book shelf and one of those women I ain't.

Ellangirl, you are doing a worthwhile job

I don't get this. It is massive extrapolation to take a description of someone saying they don't work and look after kids all the time as critical of parents who work. People say it for a lot of reasons, not always to bring you down, sometimes because they are being attacked about not working and trying to associate it with work terminology. I don't get upset when people say "full time mother" or "working mother" I get upset when people are trying to upset me.

sm

am way too old for the garage unfortunately

sahm isn't a job
it's a personal choice. set of tasks undertaken with your own kid in own home

scottish mummy i am now listening to that song on You Tube. Used to make me cry when I was trying to get pregnant/ had fertility issues.

ach it's great song cheesetastic
I love it

SAHM is not always a personal choice. Neither is WOHM unfortunately, they should be but lots of women can't make choices because they can't afford childcare or can't afford not to work full time.

DS has declared me 'Ruler Of The House'. I'm happy with that.

YANBU, one does not stop being a mother whilst at work.

scottishmummy, " sahm isn't a job
it's a personal choice. set of tasks undertaken with your own kid in own home "

I'm a childminder, and I do exactly the same as I did when I was 'just' a SAHM (plus a bit of paperwork). I am now a 'professional' who is paid to do these things but the work is identical to what I did before. Is it only valuable now that I am paid for it?

Homemaker may raise a snigger but I think I'd be more concerned about the judgements of others if they knew I was in a demanding profession AND the mother of young children. There are only 24 hours in a day. You can't pretend to be a mother if you're out of the house from 6am-til 8pm .

Bringing up my DS is worthwhile to me, but he would also be fine in child care. I am his only mother, but i am not the only person capable of caring for him through the day, For me it is a choice to be a SAHM, because I don't want him to be looking after by anyone else, because we can afford it, and because there aren't any teaching jobs. It's not as hard staying at home as being a teacher though.
Incidentally, what gets my goat is when people say they both need to work, but they don't, they just want to work so they can afford two foreign holidays and a new car every year. As offred says, some people really DO need to work.

I think sahm is the best term, so far. To me, it just implies that I am not woh. I quite like 'work at home mother', but that implies that women in paid employment don't also work at home, so it isn't quite right either.

I dislike 'full time mother' - all of us are mothers all of the time, whether we are physically with our children or not. Also, I am not only a mother. It is the most important thing, to me, but I am not a different person to the one I was pre dc. Full time mother, implies that my sole worth is in the fact that I am a mother, as if anything else about me is of no consequence.

sahm isnt a job but its bloody hard work

attempting to drag the thread out of the mire of the usual debates about who is the more fabulous mother for working/not working and back to the OP

I wonder if it would be less contentious if it was said as a verb: full-time mothering or full-time parenting.

tbh, I don't agree that sahm/full-time mother/whatever isn't a job. It is a job, it just isn't paid.

do you need me to point out difference between cm and housewife?
cm you're subject to external checks, expected behaviours and standards. checks on fire evacuation, delivery of care. it is externally inspected. whilst cm is not a regulated title. the majority understanding of cm is paid childcare, provided by another person (not the parent) - cm is self employed for profit.therefore a working person

housewife watches own children
unregulated
no external checks and balances
doesn't demand fees
not self employed

scottish mummy- a SAHM and a CM are both knackered at the end of the day!

so what?
one is self employed for profit worker
other isn't
not comparable at all

SM, just because the cm has external checks, it doesn't mean that the mother is doing the care to a lower standard than a person who receives payment. It's utterly irrelevant whether there is regulation/checks/payment, because the actual work of looking after the dc is pretty much the same - you still cook/change nappies/play/teach, whether it's your child or someone else's.

The difference is in how you feel about said work. For your own child you have the natural bond, which makes the work aspect 'nicer'. When looking after someone else's child, it feels more like work. But those distinctions are about emotion and perception, rather than the actual tasks involved in child care.