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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you that are not truely independent until you can drive!

242 replies

angelicstar · 31/05/2012 13:05

Ok - I admit to being a bit of a zealot about driving as I've just passed my test in my 30's and am a total convert!!

But honestly I have never felt so free. I finally feel like I don't have to rely on anyone (usually got lifts from DH/Dad/Friends etc). I'm not at the mercy of public transport and never have to get soaking wet walking in the rain again.

I wish someone had made me do this years ago and I would really encourage anyone thinking about learning to drive to do so - it has made such a difference to me (and if I can pass anyone can!)

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 31/05/2012 17:24

YAB a little U, because it is perfectly possible to be independent without being able to drive and run a car.

I drove regularly for a couple of years after passing my test, then not at all for quite a long time as I couldn't afford to run a car, and lived in a city so didn't ever need to drive anywhere anyway. I didn't miss having a car then, but I was lucky in that friends were happy to give ds and I lifts when we had days out at otherwise inaccessible places.

I finally gave in and got a car a couple of years ago when I got sick of spending up to 3 hours a day commuting 6 miles each way. I've never looked back tbh.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 31/05/2012 17:26

Oh and Congratulations on passing your test :)

I have no idea why some people relish pissing on other people's chips so much. Miserable hair-shirted fuckers.

E320 · 31/05/2012 17:35

Hmm at all the people making digs on the financial side.
As a disclaimer I should "confess" to having passed my driving test in 1976.
I did not have a car as a student, it was not "the done thing" and I could not have afforded it. I mostly borrowed a car from one parent or another or had cars for work, but the work meant that I needed to be able to drive.
I have only owned 3 cars in my life, all bought and paid for by me.
I now live in a village, where not having a car would rather restrict my options.
Some of my earlier jobs have depended on the ability and willingness to drive.
I do understand that learning to drive, getting and passing a test and insuring a car, these days, is an expensive undertaking (I financed my driving lessons in the 6th form with my Saturday job).
I would say that being able to drive is not a "given", but it is a useful skill (and lots of fun, if you know the right places to let your 225 bhp down).
Wink

pigletmania · 31/05/2012 17:41

well when you have a title like that then you have to be open to a flaming

curiousgeorgie · 31/05/2012 17:45

Pigletmania - it is a fact that cars make you more independent. The fact that you know people that make unnecessary journeys is completely irrelevant to the point.

yummytummy · 31/05/2012 17:47

poulay, you obviously dont know many pakistani women. the ones i do drive and even shock horror have full time professional jobs. they have a very similar role to that of a white or indeed any other colour woman. i dont think its fair of you to generalise about a whole class of people when the ones you have encountered are most likely of a more simple lesser educated variety.

Bonsoir · 31/05/2012 17:50

I think this is highly dependent on where you live and the kind of alternative transport to cars that you have available to you. Not all places are remotely car friendly and it can be much easier to use public transport/walk/cycle/take taxis.

pigletmania · 31/05/2012 17:50

no they dont, they make you more dependent on the tin box, and less likely to use other ways of getting somewhere, that is very narrow thinking by car drivers,. yes they are just exammples of people i know

pigletmania · 31/05/2012 17:51

you are financially dependent, having to pay shedloads for insurance, tax, fuel,, breakdown

OracleInAMonarchale · 31/05/2012 17:51

Pigletmania - it is a fact that cars make you more independent.

No it isn't. Not at all. and piglets point about people making unnecessary journeys is relevant, it shows a lack of independence.

Why is it so hard for people to understand?

Op, congrats on passing your test.

pigletmania · 31/05/2012 17:54

It is fact that people are so dependent on the car that they use it unesessarily when they could easily walk

pigletmania · 31/05/2012 17:54

meant some people not all obviously

curiousgeorgie · 31/05/2012 17:58

Oracle - how does using the car to take children to school show a lack of independence??? It shows they have a CHOICE. The school is close, they could walk, but in bad weather / if they have to go somewhere afterwards / convenience and time - they can drive???!

Perhaps some people are dependant on cars, but it completely makes you more independent. You can go anywhere at any time with no schedule restrictions. How is that not independence???

OracleInAMonarchale · 31/05/2012 18:03

Because you are still dependent on a car. There are other choices and a lot of drivers are blinkered and can't see past the end of their drives. I live rurally. I work. I am hqappy not driving. How on earth am I less independent than you? Just because I don't have a car? Honestly, its insulting!

pigletmania · 31/05/2012 18:04

it depends on your interpretatiion of independence, and whether you feel you are independent without a car or not. both having a car or not has its advantages and disadvantages. just because i dont drive does not make me not independent, what an insult. it just takes longer to get somewhere thats all.

pigletmania · 31/05/2012 18:05

i have to be creative and find other modes of transport be it bus,walk,train etc

pigletmania · 31/05/2012 18:11

just because you feel that not being able to drive/have a car makes YOU not indeptendent does not mean its the same for everybody.

crashdoll · 31/05/2012 18:12

I have no idea why some people relish pissing on other people's chips so much. Miserable hair-shirted fuckers.

Oh do go fuck yourself. The OP wasn't "oh yay, I've passed my test and I love feeling so independent". The title was a dig at other people who don't drive. Also, this is AIBU, not the happy fluffy let's all agree brigade.

AdventuresWithVoles · 31/05/2012 18:14

I see dependence on the car as a handicap, it undermines my independence any time I'm dependent on the car to get certain things done. That's why I could never live anywhere in the sticks; if I can't get to other places I need to go by multiple modes of transport, that's a serious problem in my mind. I'd feel desperately insecure if I lived in the sticks, I reckon.

(Yes, have had many problems with cars!)

pigletmania · 31/05/2012 18:15

until i pass my test i will continue to be independent through other means, and that does not mean expecting lifts fromm people

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 31/05/2012 18:20

Good grief, some people seem to actively try to be offended.

Did you actually read the OP, crashdoll? Or just the title?

FizzyLaces · 31/05/2012 18:24

Depends where you live -YANBU if you live in the sticks and YABU if you live somewhere with other transport.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 31/05/2012 18:24

Oh and I am fully aware of the nature of AIBU.

crashdoll · 31/05/2012 18:42

*Good grief, some people seem to actively try to be offended.

Did you actually read the OP, crashdoll? Or just the title?*

Yes I read both. Did I say I was offended? I just said that the title was a dig at people who don't drive, so it's not like people are jumping on her purely for celebrating her passing her test which by the way OP, is a bloody good achievement. It is no mean feat and I found it hard!

bigmouthstrikesagain · 31/05/2012 18:59

The op is very happy to have passed her test and of course that is great for her. I am happy for you op. I do not relish the necessity of learning to drive as I suspect I may need too to get a job where I now live.

Having been a happy urban dweller before I had children it was never an issue. I really resent the lack of a decent public transpot network here in sticksville.