To think you that are not truely independent until you can drive!

[angelicstar]

Ok - I admit to being a bit of a zealot about driving as I've just passed my test in my 30's and am a total convert!!

But honestly I have never felt so free. I finally feel like I don't have to rely on anyone (usually got lifts from DH/Dad/Friends etc). I'm not at the mercy of public transport and never have to get soaking wet walking in the rain again.

I wish someone had made me do this years ago and I would really encourage anyone thinking about learning to drive to do so - it has made such a difference to me (and if I can pass anyone can!)

Are you going to pay for my lessons so i can be a proper person?

Do you enjoy being a zealot? I wouldn't, it's annoying and without exception, zealots make me cringe.

I don't think driving or not driving is a mark of independence either, total or others. Handy, yes. That's all.

I disagree, as long as you can get yourself where you want to be and back on your steam without relying on anyone yes I'm looking at you MIL then you can be independent. Mode of transport is irrelevant.

YABU and a bit annoying

Yabu and you know it.

It's such an arbitrary measure of 'independence' you could just have easily have picked getting a job, living alone or having/not having children.

Is anyone ever truest 'independent'?

Nope. I'm entirely independent, thanks.

I can drive, got to the point of doing the test then decided it was a waste of money as I have zero prospect of affording a car.

YABU

Lots of people can drive but not afford to run a car. So actually, what you're saying is having spare cash to afford a car makes you independent.

As long as you can walk/use public transport and get to where you need to, you can be independent. I have survived for years not getting lifts. What it costs to run a car buys you a hell of a lot of taxis.

I get what you mean, I am learning at the moment and it is a pain not being able to drive, so I can not wait til I pass - but for now if I want to go anywhere I can still get there, its just more effort. I can quite happily take the dc everywhere on tube, bus, taxi or walking - without asking help from anyone so dont think it really prevents you being independant. I've never really been in the habit of asking lifts off people anyway
but yeah, driving does seem much easier and tbh once ive passed i doubt i will be able to go back to dragging kids across town for 2 hours on the tube but when you can not drive you have no choice so you just get on with it

I can drive, and have a toddler, and most of the time when I need to go somewhere, I think "I might drive", and then decide it's too much hassle. Parking is a nightmare, very expensive, roads are gridlocked etc.

Mind you, I live in London

We live in rural Scotland. I've never driven and don't intend to learn. I'm still perfectly independent. I just plan what I need to do around the bus timetable and walk everywhere else.

I think, if anything, a car can make you more reliant - not on other people but on driving. DP learned to drive as soon as he was able to as a teenager and is unbelievably car-reliant. He'll drive everywhere, even to the local shop when we lived in London, and he finds it very difficult to plan how he's going to get somewhere if using the car isn't an option.

Cross posted with Firawala! All the best with your test, it's definitely a useful skill, but driving across London is a pain in the arse, to be honest! I always think it will be quicker, it very rarely is...

YANBU.
I also passed my test in my early thirties and it transformed my life.
I was really properly FREE for the first time.
Public transport is ok, but follows a schedule, so if you miss that train, you've a 30 min wait for the next one! And if you miss the last train home at night, you're really stuck.
Driving is a life changing thing.

Ugh, the pathetic dependence of people on their cars!

I drive, but I am astounded when people decline invitations, call off or say they can't do something 'because the car is in the garage' or 'DH will have the car that day'. When people must have parking really close to their holiday cottage, drive everywhere, can't manage on public transport - that's real lack of independence!

Before I drove, I always got where I wanted to go and never stopped me doing anything.It just took more planning. I learned to drive cos it was a struggle to get two young kids,shopping etc anywhere.

I had an accident where I couldn't drive for a few weeks and had to take the train to work. I kind of missed it when I went back to my car(need my car for my work), cos I missed reading books and wee cups of coffee on the train.

I feel my car has actually made me lazy

YABU. Real independence is ditching the car and walking my DCs to school through the woods while everyone else sits in traffic, hot and sweaty and not getting there any quicker

YABU

there are many people who don't drive but manage to live life independently. there are many reasons why some people can't or don't drive.

There are many ways to get about without the need for a car.

I do drive and enjoy it, but don't think it is the be all and end all.

When I lived in London, I brought the kids home to NI 4 or 5 times a year using public transport.

It was cheap (when they were under 5, it was £50 odd return for all of us.) It was easy. It was FUN, lots of activities, trains and boats. It took the same amount of time.

Car owning friends are generally horrified at the thought. What's that all about then? Sitting in a tin box on a motorway for hours, getting knackered while the kids bicker, or a nice scenic train? No contest.

Please don't be a zealot. My friend crashed her car and died 2 weeks after passing her test. I hate the pressure to drive even when you know it's not right for you.

tunipthevegemal - OMG thats awful I am so sorry to hear that and sorry if this thread has upset you.

I'm a childminder who doesn't drive and I manage perfectly well to get out with 3 under 3 in tow and we live in a semi rural village with questionable public transport. I have these marvelous things called legs. They are amazing, they carry me to places I can get these strange big car type things called buses.

YABVVVU. My mindees and I love going on bus and train journeys, we love going for walks around the area.

I can drive, but we don't own a car.

I get around using public transport and walking, and tbh I wouldn't particularly want a car now even if we could afford it.

We live in a city with great public transport, and have a bus stop a few metres from our front door, and a station within a ten minute walk, and I feel totally independent.

Where we used to live had an abysmally unreliable bus service, and lots of the places I wanted to get to weren't served by public transport at all, so I did feel much more independent having a car then.

Everyone's situation is different.

I can drive but I prefer my bicycle thank you.

There's a mother at school, a Pakistani woman, who passed her test at what, 40? And since then she drives to and from school every day, and it's only half-a-mile or so.

Absolutely ridiculous.