Co-sleeping what the big deal?

[teaaddict2012]

excluding you're not drunk of course,

I am actually quite interested I hear snippets of that is quite controversial

was watching breakfast the other day about controlled crying and how one mother did controlled crying from birth nad her kids were never allowed in her bed I was quite [:o]

Why do a lot of people disagree with co-sleeping ?

My co-sleeping is becoming an issue now as my toddler is 2 but the size of a 4 year old. but other than that I'm actually relieved I didn't pace the floors.

AIBU to wonder why co-sleeping is a controversial issue.

I co slept and had one health worker comment that my poor DS 'didn't stand a chance'. Fucking bitch

I borrowed a cot that fitted into the side of the bed, which I felt was the safest thing to do. Once they were mobile they stayed in the cot - I never co slept as I seem to have bred children with very diggy-in toes.

I have never ever considered it necessary to think deeply about it. We simply did what let us all get some sleep.

I think that statement is probably all one needs to know about any sleeping debate.

That's sad gypsy :(

My mum came out with something similar - she told me about her friend who is having trouble with her son wanting to sleep with her even though he is 8. But again, her friend was having an awful time with her ex who was inconsistent and often aggressive around their child, so it's perfectly understandable that he wanted that extra support from his mum.

DS moved out perfectly happily just over a year ago, so I had no trouble with it whatsoever :)

I co-sleep with my littlest.
It's not controversial, I just do what is right for my family.

I did it with dd years ago - never called it co sleeping, didn't know that it was a parenting choice, I just assumed I was spectacularly lazy (plus just liked cuddling dd all night).

I never told anyone, can imagine the looks of horror.

My son comes in with us through the night around 2ish. I hate it. I never get enough sleep because of it. Putting him back to his own bed is pointless as he keeps coming back in. Really need to start doing something about it as he sprawls all over the bed.

My 11 week old sleeps in her cot while my 6 year and 4 year olds sleep in with me.

Whose gang am I in?

I can't imagine anything more boring than banging on about who sleeps where and why!! Who gives a flying fuck what people do!!

I never tell people I cosleep not even my own mother. I think lots of people do it but know they should keep it a secret

DD1 and 2 slept in our bed (co-sleep term is vom) until they slept through and didn't feed at night about 8-9 months. Both slept 12 hours and dream breastfed.

DS (DC3) had to stay in hospital, I had him in bed with me much to the midwife horror.

I was told babies had to sleep in the goldfish bowls and in a cot when we got home. I asked why and she couldn't come up with any valid reasons in my case so we ended up agreeing DS could stay where he was as long as no other patients saw. Ofcourse the fact this conversation went on at 10PM on the ward, no other patients would have had to see DS with me to know what we were doing.

Until they stop lumping in planned, considered ,co-sleeping with tired, accidental, co-sleeping we will never be able to look into the actual risks.

My 3 slept in my bed from birth, not really through choice - I couldn't sleep if they were any further away.

DD went into her own bed of her own accord at 18 months, DS1 was about 4 (although he still chooses to sleep with me sometimes, aged nearly 7, and I love it when he does, as he's not an affectionate child and it's nice to have a cuddle!) DS2 is 3.5 and still sleeps with me about 4 nights a week.

It's never felt unsafe. We did have a bedside cot for DS2 as DS1 was in the bed, but he never went in it so we kept laundry in it. We also never disturb each other - DS1 only started breaking my sleep when he got his own bed! (he has HFA and does not sleep well.)

I have had comments from people who believe that sleeping in a parents bed reduces independence, but it just doesn't. I'm not keen on the idea that kids have to be taught independence, I think it just happens. And it has for mine, they are the least clingy children I know, despite being carried in slings and sleeping in my bed and BF to two etc etc etc.

I co sleep with dd. she's a crap sleeper like her older brother who I didn't cosleeping with beyond 12 weeks. She's now nearly 6 months, and I feel more rested. With ds I was on my knees getting up, rocking or BF then trying to get him back in the cot. Dd I whip a boob out or pat and done, without getting up.

She sleeps in her cot for naps, in her cot at the start of the night so I'm not worried we'll still be at it when she's 15

In RL I haven't met anyone who finds co-sleeping controversial. I know NHS doesn't recommend it, but our HV actually told us to try co-sleeping when DS was 5 days old and we were struggling with his sleep. Most of my friends don't co-sleep, but they don't seem shocked that we do.

My mother was horrified that we co-slept with our baby (I am using the past tense as he has just recently slept in his own bed - yay!). Like you, I preferred to be able to sleep, rather than not. I am BF so I'd rather not have to actually get up if I can help it.

I pointed out that the UK is one of the only countries in the world where co-sleeping is not seen as totally normal. I think I got that from a Babycentre link.

Having said that, I wouldn't choose to co-sleep at older than about 1, as they wiggle so much it's not comfortable.

Mine don't, we are all terribly civilised sleepers. DS2 does bring an awful lot of toys in though.

Well, I'm obviously doing it wrong with DS2 because he sleeps in with me and we've done our share of 'pacing the floor'. (reflux)

OP, I think you're being a tad disingenuous. You know why it's a contentious subject. It ought not to be, for reasons given here and elsewhere on MN (and, gasp, beyond), but it's a) v v emotive how people deal with the whole issue of 'sleep' with their DC, b) a flash-point because of all the misunderstandings and misinformation about SIDS, c) bed is typically where s-e-x happens and some people compartmentalise their lives can't cope with the idea that a baby might be in bed too.

reshape s-e-x in BED? Pervert.

I think it is a very natural thing to do actually

I come from a "co-sleeping country" so didn't even realise it was a controversial thing here. Didn't get any grief or comment from the midwife or health visitor too, I wonder if it was because I wasn't British. My newborn would sleep between DH and I in bed, and I have mentioned that in conversation to them.

Specific reasons for not wanting to co-sleep aside, I think our culture works against the mother-baby bond. Heck, it's only a few generations ago that they used to take the baby off you at birth, stick it in the baby room at the hospital and tell you to feed it every four hours and not in between even if screaming the place down!

Our culture reinforces images of babies in nurseries, and the idea that you provide for your baby by decorating a lovely room for them, and filling it with all manner of products (beautiful cot, toys, clothes). In reality all the baby wants is to be near its mum, it doesn't care about the products.

I'm amazed by how many people spend ages agonising over getting the correct new low-SIDs risk mattress, then happily ignore the advice to keep your baby in the room with you for 6 months, sticking them in their own room asap.

Also if our culture was supportive of breastfeeding (which it isn't of course) then it would be more supportive of co-sleeping.

DS slept on top of me in our bed for the first few weeks as it was the only way to get any sleep. I used to worry that I would suffocate him or that he'd still be in with us when he was 5.

Luckily he loved his cot bed and slept well in there from about 10 weeks (fully monitored). Maybe he didn't like the Moses basket.

The bed is mine and DH's - it's not big enough for three and it's important we have our own space and time together.

Each to their own I say.

I never did it, no reason, just never considered it.
Dcs were always in their own room from birth, and I slept in a bed in there, not with dh.
Did that for about 2 months.

When they were toddlers they always came in bed in the morning. Ds still does at 13

weatherrain can I ask, is the culture in your country fairly supportive of breastfeeding also?

I don't think many people "disagree" with it (as per the OP), as just don't want to do it themselves, which is a completely different thing. I also think this is one of those controversies like SAHM vs WOHM which exist only in the media /internet between faceless people, when in RL you prob have friends of all shades of parenting spectrum and don't think anything of it, because they are real people, so individual behaviours are just part of them.