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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that my mum says "our" baby!?

130 replies

ButterflyJinx · 26/05/2012 23:02

It really bothers me that she refers to my daughter as "our" baby. I feel like saying, "Actually, mum, she's MY baby!" but I don't want to hurt her feelings, so I've always just ignored it. Now she's text me asking how "our" baby is and I've ranted to my OH once again, who thinks I should tell her to stop saying it.

I don't know if it's something petty that I should carry on ignoring or whether I should speak up about it! Does/would it bother anyone else? X

OP posts:
bejeezus · 26/05/2012 23:05

Not in the northern way?

Like 'ar kid?

squeakytoy · 26/05/2012 23:07

YABU, she is a baby that is part of the family isnt she? nobody owns her exclusively you know.. :)

CrispyCod · 26/05/2012 23:08

I think it's quite sweet.

NurseBernard · 26/05/2012 23:08

No, in all honesty, it wouldn't even occur to me to be bothered. Petty? Yes, very. She's expressing love for her grandchild. Confused

But if it bothers you, it bothers you.

AgentZigzag · 26/05/2012 23:08

It sounds inclusive to me, just like you'd say 'You'll never guess what our Denise got up to the other night?? Shock'

YABU, but sometimes irrational things can fuck you right off and the more you get annoyed the more you notice them, so you aren't all together unreasonable.

Is it her first GC? Or your first DC?

If that's the case then it'll probably calm down when she gets used to having a closely related baby to coo over.

Dropdeadfred · 26/05/2012 23:09

Text her back and say 'Your baby is putting her feet up whilst my baby is fast asleep so we're both fine thanks'

squeakytoy · 26/05/2012 23:09

Also, be pleased that she is texting to ask.. and remember how many threads there are on here about GPs who are not interested in their GC.

WorraLiberty · 26/05/2012 23:11

Aww I think it's lovely...but then I'm a soppy fool with a glass of Wine Grin

She 'is' the family's baby though and it's nice your Mum feels that way, being the Grandmother.

DoesItComeInBlack · 26/05/2012 23:12

All my friends and family refer to my DD as our baby, I think it's lovely, it takes a village to raise a child you know.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest · 26/05/2012 23:13

My boss calls my sons 'our baby's too! Surely that's worse?!

AlbertoFrog · 26/05/2012 23:13

DS is referred to as "our boy" by both sides of the family.

They love him.

Are you sure there isn't some other underlying problem which makes this far more annoying than it really needs to be?

WorraLiberty · 26/05/2012 23:15

My boss calls my sons 'our baby's too! Surely that's worse?!

No, worse would be the Milkman calling them 'our babies'...in a hushed tone Grin

duckdodgers · 26/05/2012 23:16

Well I think its nice. Stop bring so precious - ok you win shes yours because you gave birth (and don't you think everyone knows that eh)

BigDavesGusset · 26/05/2012 23:17

It wouldn't bother me at all. In fact I like it, it's affectionate.

My mum will often say to my DDs 'how's my girl?'. Or to me 'how's my [their name]?'

It just shows how much she loves them - I'm still their mother!

smoggii · 26/05/2012 23:18

My Mum is the same with my DD and I love it, it's just so fab to see how much my Mum adores her and see's her as hers too. But really DD is her own and no one's possession but it's just an expression of how much she loves her.

lazylula · 26/05/2012 23:18

My mum calls all 3 of mine 'our babies', doesn't bother me in the slightest, I see it as inclusive and they are the babies of the family (as in the youngest).

winkle2 · 26/05/2012 23:18

Aw I call my nieces and nephews our babies too!

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 26/05/2012 23:19

I do it with friends babies/children. It's just a term of affection. Whether it bothered me or not would depend on if I liked the person or not...

lazylula · 26/05/2012 23:22

BigDavesGusset my mum does the same, how is my baby? ect. She is just expressing her love for my children and she totally knows that I am their mother (even if she has called her self mummy on a few occassions, totally accidental but she has been a mum for 38 years so it is kind of a habit to say mum!)

EchoBitch · 26/05/2012 23:24

It takes a village to raise a child.... Grin

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest,i would be happy that my family loved my baby that much.

It's not as if she's going to kidnap the child.

AgentZigzag · 26/05/2012 23:24

Is this that last straw in a long line of things your mum's pushing the boundaries with your DS Butterfly?

Most (all?) of the posters think you would be unreasonable to take offence at it, so are there other reasons why it's getting to you so much?

raffle · 26/05/2012 23:24

Am in agreement with everyone else, it's sweet, she's obviously a loving Granny, let it go

SweetEspresso · 26/05/2012 23:27

I wouldn't be upset about it either and think it's lovely in that it shows how much your mum loves your baby. She knows the baby is yours but feels close enough to you to feel able to call the baby 'ours'.

Is there a bit more to this? Are you worried she's going to try to take over?

maddening · 26/05/2012 23:28

if she was being all over bearing in other ways I could see how it would gate but it doesn't sound like that is the case

MrsHelsBels74 · 26/05/2012 23:32

My son is referred to as 'my boy' by 2 of his grandmothers...I don't have the energy to get annoyed by it & neither if them would stop even if they knew I hated it.