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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that my mum says "our" baby!?

130 replies

ButterflyJinx · 26/05/2012 23:02

It really bothers me that she refers to my daughter as "our" baby. I feel like saying, "Actually, mum, she's MY baby!" but I don't want to hurt her feelings, so I've always just ignored it. Now she's text me asking how "our" baby is and I've ranted to my OH once again, who thinks I should tell her to stop saying it.

I don't know if it's something petty that I should carry on ignoring or whether I should speak up about it! Does/would it bother anyone else? X

OP posts:
HuggyPomBear · 27/05/2012 11:40

My mother calls my DD, 'My baby' as in how's my baby doing? At least yours acknowledges she's a family baby and not exclusively hers!! Smile

KatieScarlett2833 · 27/05/2012 11:47

DD and DS are and have always been "our DD/DS" , DH is "our DH" and I suspect I am "our KatieScarlett" to both sets of GP's.

It has never ocurred to me to notice or care.

seeker · 27/05/2012 11:52

My mum used to call my my dd "my girl". As in "How's my girl today?" it was lovely.

And babies belong to families.

Lueji · 27/05/2012 11:56

Are there any controlling issues with your mother that makes it sound bad to you?

WinkyWinkola · 27/05/2012 11:57

I think the context is the most important thing here.

exoticfruits · 27/05/2012 11:59

I would say that the context was insecurity or perhaps a poor relationship in the first place.

exoticfruits · 27/05/2012 12:02

The other problem is that once a person has a child they often expect to control their whole environment and everyone who comes into contact with the child. You can only control yourself.
Even if you raise it with your mother she can easily say 'oh, don't be a silly so and so-it is a figure of speech', in a perfectly friendly manner and carry right on saying it.

WinkyWinkola · 27/05/2012 12:03

Exactly exotic. If insecurity then pushing the op and giving her a sense of being "bullied" isn't going to help.

And if it's a bad relationship to begin with then well, perhaps there needs to be a frank conversation of sorts.

WinkyWinkola · 27/05/2012 12:03

aaargh. wrong thread. sorry.

Boysrstupid · 27/05/2012 12:17

Every party has a pooper so here I am....

I'm currently 35wks pg with DC3. I lost my Mum in August. I would give my right arm to have her call my baby our baby.

Grow up. Stop being spiteful and be grateful that this is the only 'problem' you have worth posting about.

& to those of you who think i'm being harsh, off you pop to the far side of you know where.

I am fat and hot and tired and I want my mummy!

TidyDancer · 27/05/2012 12:22

This is a petty and ridiculous thing to rant about. I think you need to grow up. I can't believe a simple and sweet expression of love for her GC could be so resented by someone. If you say something to her you will look extremely PFB and will probably (rightly) be laughed at for it.

Be thankful your DM wants to be involved and loves your DD so much.

ImNotBeingUnreasonable · 27/05/2012 12:41

My aunt calls DS 'my boy', it irritates me but I just try and ignore it as it's her way of bonding with DS, and I know he'll always be my boy anyway even when he's 45 with his own little boys! :o

thebody · 27/05/2012 12:43

Don't be so precious and sillly.

ImNotBeingUnreasonable · 27/05/2012 12:44

And fwiw, I've not got parents to call DS 'my boy', but that doesn't mean I don't get annoyed when other people say it.

thebody · 27/05/2012 12:44

Boys, so sorry about your mum, mumsnet hug to you.xx

KatieScarlett2833 · 27/05/2012 12:50

Boys, you are so right. Have a hug from me too. Smile

McKayz · 27/05/2012 12:52

So sorry Boys, have a hug from me too xx

NewGirlInTown · 27/05/2012 14:02

Hear hear Boys

Boysrstupid · 27/05/2012 14:49

Thank you Ladies. I wasn't looking for sympathy, just getting my hair off. I'm hormonal I guess & it grates on me that people don't realise how lucky they are.

I've since scoffed half a tube of Pringles, am sat in the shade with my feet soaking in cool water and feeling more human now.

NewGirlInTown · 27/05/2012 15:03

Sounds like a plan, Boys!

All the best to you with your baby, and if you believe your mum is watching over you, I hope that brings you comfort.

Like you, if my mum was still with us, she could call me and mine anything she liked!

catgirl1976 · 27/05/2012 16:17

my mum does it. I don't mind at all as I just see it as great she loves him so much. That doesn't mean you have to like it but unless there are other issues you are maybe being a bit U

BlatantRedhead · 27/05/2012 16:26

i refer to my nephew as mine all the time because, apart from the whole gestation/birth thing, he is Grin

Iwantcandy · 27/05/2012 16:28

My mum calls my baby "my baby" Hmm

usualsuspect · 27/05/2012 16:31

I call my Grandsons 'my boys' all the time.

My DD often says you can have 'em mum Grin

Boysrstupid · 27/05/2012 16:34

Thanks Newgirl I do believe she is watching over us but my 21yo Nephew was posted to Afghan in April, so I 'sent' her with him and told her she wasn't to leave his side until he came home safe.

My Dad passed in January too so i'm banking on him staying here with me and mine.

I've had a shitty 12months, thats why people whinging about nothing gets on my bobbiedoos.

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