Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is what a 15 year old has just posted on face book to my 76 year old MIL

436 replies

RabidAnchovy · 26/05/2012 20:29

I HAVE TOLD THE SCHOOL, I AM GOING TO SPEAK TO HIS MOTHER AND i THINK MIL SHOULD CTELL THE POLICE.

AIBU to think what a vile excuse for a child

If you're loving your pension keep your mouth shut. your name reminds me of something .. AN ESCAPED OLD PEOPLE'S HOME OLD WOMAN WHO HAS MADE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT THOUGHT SHE'D DO THE OLD EXPERIENCED LIFE LIVER THING AND TRY BE FUNNY WHO HAS A ALBUM CALLED 'My eye' HAS SAGGY OLD TITS HASN'T HAD SEX SINCE THE POPE WAS ALIVE.
shut up you old bag, I'd put my dick in your arse and fuck you till you love me

OP posts:
SofiaAmes · 29/05/2012 07:30

My ds is too lazy to go on his Facebook page, so is quite delighted when I do one of my checks as he can then check with me if there are any posts/messages worth logging on for. I also get a copy of both dc's emails. Dd regularly asks me whether she has had any emails, to save herself the trouble of logging on to check. I'm not sure if I have them totally under control or vice versa :)

SofiaAmes · 29/05/2012 07:34

And could I just add, that I thought I was the only person left on the planet with early bedtimes for my dc's. They are only 9 and 11, and I don't intend their bedtimes to be any later when they are teenagers as they really do need the sleep, but I was beginning to despair of ever finding anyone else who has similar rules. As is, NONE of ds' friends (ages 11-13) have bedtimes earlier than 9 or 10.

ToothbrushThief · 29/05/2012 07:36

Are you saying a 9 or 11yr old is on facebook?

SofiaAmes · 29/05/2012 07:46

Yes, 11 year old. I am in the USA, so not yet running into principals planning to shop me to the police for bad parenting. In fact, his school (small private school for gifted kids) use Facebook as a means of communicating which was the main reason for allowing (and his wanting) the page...

SofiaAmes · 29/05/2012 07:48

Now if I could only get him to actually use it to find out about the school activities....

Original poster
RabidAnchovy · 29/05/2012 09:04

Thank you everyone, nothing to up date with as yet, both DSs avoided the boy at school, I am awaiting angry parent at my door once the police have been round but hay ho I am a big girl and so can handle it.

I spoke to DS1 this morning and ask if he cared I have full access to his face book, PC history and so on, he does not. I am not a total cow and at the weekends he can stay up late.

My sister said a few weeks back I should be his "friend" as she thinks I am a bit strict with both of them, I told her he has friends, it is not MY job to be his friend it is MY job to be his mother.

OP posts:
CatPower · 29/05/2012 09:23

"...it is not MY job to be his friend it is MY job to be his mother..."

EXACTLY. Thanks I'm really glad you're taking a stand on this issue; I'm sure MIL is fine, but it's important to do something, even just so the boy realises he cannot just run his mouth off like that with no consequences.

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 29/05/2012 09:28

well said rabid it is our job as parents to parent, not pander to teens. They have plenty of friends.

Hope this boy gets a bollocking from his Mum.

duchesse · 29/05/2012 10:38

it is not MY job to be his friend it is MY job to be his mother hear hear Rabid! A lot more reassuring for them as well if they actually have a person in their life to be their parent.

Original poster
RabidAnchovy · 29/05/2012 15:15

I had a call from a lovely police lady today who has spoken to his mother and is going to speak to him with his mother on Friday, she is going to read him the riot act and ask him to apologize to MIL. She said his mother was very upset to hear what he had said (as any parent would be). She said she will call me on Friday and tell me the outcome.

OP posts:
Frontpaw · 29/05/2012 15:18

Yet another reason to avoid Faceache.

mistlethrush · 29/05/2012 15:18

Good outcome, thanks for the update.

NovackNGood · 29/05/2012 15:24

WHy post your photos in a public space. If you enter the bear baiting ring you do so at your own risk.

And now I understand why facebook will ultimately be a bad investment as with 76 years olds being on it as well as the yoof, young professionals etc. it can only lead to a mass exodus of one group or another.

GreenEyesAndHam · 29/05/2012 15:40

Do you think someone will tell the thick cunt that the Pope is actually alive?

NoWayNoHow · 29/05/2012 15:41

Novack have you even read the thread????

NovackNGood · 29/05/2012 15:47

Yes i did read it and I say again people who put their photos out into the public domain or tweet their inane opinions etc. etc. as I am doing here are then open to criticism from all sides good and bad.

MiseryBusiness · 29/05/2012 15:48

Dont think Novack read the thread properly.

Glad something is being done OP.

MiseryBusiness · 29/05/2012 15:49

But surely that is not just criticism?

I dont think you should just accept that kind of vile behaviour, ever.

pictish · 29/05/2012 15:51

'criticism'?

I think what you meant to say was 'threatening' and 'abusive' surely?

Odd response Novack.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 29/05/2012 15:55

If you call that criticism I am flabbergasted really.

Very odd indeed.

And you cant have read the thread, as she didn't post any photos.

DublinMammy · 29/05/2012 16:07

Novack are you an idiot or trying to get a reaction?

Ormiriathomimus · 29/05/2012 16:11

Criticism? Really? Not exactly what you'd call constructive criticism though Hmm

Pagwatch · 29/05/2012 16:12

There is reading. And there is understanding.

Rindercella · 29/05/2012 16:15

Dammit GreenEyes, I was just going to point out that as well as extra English lessons, the little scroat should also get extra RE.

OP, I think what happened is absolutely disgusting. Am outraged that anyone, whatever their age, would think that threatening to anally rape someone is an okay/funny thing to do. Hopefully the outcome - school bollocking, police bollocking, etc., will give him the kick up the arse he obviously needs.

I really don't get that any of this could be your MIL's fault (or yours). It's a bit like rape apologists really isn't it? Ignore the behaviour of the abuser and instead blame the victim.

NovackNGood · 29/05/2012 16:23

No I am not an idiot. I posted an opinion that people who post on facebook, tweet, my space etc. and put things out into the public domain are open to criticism from all angles. Whether that criticism is vile, abusive, mundane, hateful, I passed no comment on that.

To expect the police to have to take action for every thing that is not an incitement to riot or equivalent and is just the inane ramblings of a teenager who appears to not even know when to use capitals is perhaps asking too much from a police force. (Hypothetically speaking you take this to court and the youths lawyer then attempts to prove that MIL does have saggy tits and is then asking her about the last time she had sex. You really want this pursued that much since I don't think any policewoman can force an apology.)

She could perhaps take action under section 5 of the Public Order Act but then even the student who was arrested for telling the mounted policeman to go f his horse got off when it went to court. And really you want to spend police/courts time and money on this.

To quote Peter Tatchell: ?Do we really need the police and the courts to criminalise insults? Should we not just accept that the risk of insult is a fair price to pay for living in a society which respects free speech?
The law rightly protects us against discrimination, harassment and incitement to violence. It should not be used to protect us from mere insults"