to ask if you smack your children?

[toofattorun]

I am not talking beating! Just a smack on the hand or bum when they are being very rude or naughty.

I agree with you proud about not hiding emotions from children - I don't think it's a good idea to pretend like that, especially in front of older children. I know some don't agree but I think it's healthy to show sadness etc in front of children, without expecting a child to support you or listen to your problems. The main thing is to show that you can feel these things but there are healthy ways of dealing with them.

Ds has obviously been disciplined very gently. The other morning I told him very calmly that I was very cross about something (can't even remember what it was now) before he went to school. At 3pm I got a call from his teacher, ds had refused to get in the taxi until teacher confirmed he was safe to come home Should add ds is 17, a foot taller than I am and has autism.
Thank heaven teacher knew that ds had nothing to worry about and they weren't either and I was able to confirm he was safe and I had in fact made Krispie cakes for him because I felt I had been harsh that morning

"I have never seen a controlled smack either. It sounds good in principle but does that actually ever happen?"
proudnscary most smacking in countries where it is the norm is controlled, just like most parents are
the ones who aren't are the type who would still smack if they lived in the UK because they have no control. So no I don't think it happens much in the UK but it does happen in other places

Controlled smacking is no more scary or humilliating than any other discipline, and doesn't hurt, it stings for a second then it's gone.

I've been smacked in a controlled way and in a loss of control way (by different people obviously), I don't smack because I live in the uK, I am horrified by the kind of smacking you occasionally see in the UK, I think the "normal" smacking you see abroad

Getting rid of controlled smacking doesnt reduce the amt of non controlled smacking, I don't think there are more loose control type smackers in countries where there is controlled smacking then there is here, because by definition those people aren't going to be able to control themselves just because it's not socially acceptable if they clearly can't control themselves and be the adult around children anyway

unfinished sentance: I think the normal smacking you see abroad is okay

So you would say that being hit is no more scary or humiliating than being taught kindly how to do things by your mother? Discipline doesn't need to be scary or humiliating at all. Why is ok to do something even slightly scary or slightly humiliating to your child if there's absolutely no need for it?

Also the phrase "it doesn't hurt, it stings for a second" makes no sense. Stinging is hurting. Smacking involves hurting your child. That's the main way in which it works.

I smacked Dniece last week i told her no more chocolate and she pushed DS (16 weeks) so hard side on it nearly fell not proud of it but she was being a little shit. I think it's maybe the 3rd time on her 5 yrs i've smacked her

(before i get any she's not your child stuff she pretty much is and her mother has given me full control over discipline schooling and paying for her if it wasn't for the loss of benefits she'd legally be mine alwell)

I never felt humiliated or scared or hurt by the person who did controlled hitting at all

I felt humilliated/scared/hurt by the person who occassionally did out of control smacking, but more often I felt humiliated/scared/hurt by that person's VERBAL outbursts because that person didn't know how to be the adult and took all kindsa emotions out on me, the controlled smaker was always the adult and I never felt anything but cared for by them

lola so you smacked her for being aggressive to someone smaller than and more helpless than herself? Can't imagine where she got that behaviour modelled for her

Good to see this shower of shite thread has continued on.As it always does.

You're not prepared to smack your child,don't.

You're prepared to smack your child,do.

There you go. Anything else is complete superfluous rubbish.

Thanks for your insightful contribution sparks.

Thanks sparks it all becomes clear now. Great stuff.

I don't know why anyone bothers discussing anything WhosPickle, when we could all just do as we please and not think about it as sparks suggests. She's a genius.

Thanks for your insightful contribution sparks

Thanks sparks it all becomes clear now. Great stuff

You're welcome. It really is that simple. And nothing you, i or anyone else is going to say will change it. Complete and utter guff at it's best.

The word you're looking for is its sparks.

HTH.

I don't know why anyone bothers discussing anything WhosPickle, when we could all just do as we please and not think about it as sparks suggests. She's a genius

Because it's not a discussion. It's an emotive subject where two sides who clearly won't ever meet a middle ground collide.

What a waste of parental energy.

She is a he btw..

No Probs Sparks have you though about going into politics? You could cut down the debates by quite some margin?

Here's a tip, if you find something painfully boring, then simply don't read it,

Sorry sparks. If you actually read the thread you would see it is a discussion where some parents who have smacked or were worried about smacking asked for advice on how to avoid it. It's rude and pointless of you to wander into a thread, not even read it and then make an unhelpful comment.

The word you're looking for is its sparks

Intolerant twat syndrome.

Yes there's plenty of that on here.

The word you're looking for is its sparks

Intolerant twat syndrome.

Yes there's plenty of that on here.

Well you must have caught it to make your first comment.

Glass houses and all that!

Sorry sparks. If you actually read the thread you would see it is a discussion where some parents who have smacked or were worried about smacking asked for advice on how to avoid it. It's rude and pointless of you to wander into a thread, not even read it and then make an unhelpful comment

No. It's the same moralistic crap being spouted. Call a spade a spade.

For unhelpful comment read opinion.

I'm sorry for hurting your feelings sparks. It's ok if you don't know how to use apostrophes, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Carry on going around threads commenting on how shite they are. That's very useful, well done. It doesn't make you look like a twat at all.

Thanks for your input. You're fab.

*I'm sorry for hurting your feelings sparks. It's ok if you don't know how to use apostrophes, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Carry on going around threads commenting on how shite they are. That's very useful, well done. It doesn't make you look like a twat at all.

Thanks for your input. You're fab*

I wouldn't normally be so crass but please point out where i missed an apostrophe?

And you haven't hurt my feelings one bit. Just exposed yourself as somewhat of fool.

Great cheers Sparks

This is why debate is so good. I keep learning new things all the time.

You didn't miss one sparks you put one in where one wasn't needed it's guff

HTH