to ask if you smack your children?

[toofattorun]

I am not talking beating! Just a smack on the hand or bum when they are being very rude or naughty.

Also, as Lowflying said, I don't hit adults who annoy the fuck out of me either, so why would I start hitting my children-very bizarre in my opinion.

Oh, and it is hitting, don't pretend it isn't.

I don't think it's something people should get judgey about tbh. If you don't like someone's parenting style, that's up to you. I don't judge others for techniques I don't like or agree with (like CC perhaps).

No.

No. There is no difference between hitting and smacking. I don't hit people, no matter how small they are.

No.

Would people say smacking is abuse? And if so, do they report it if they see it?

Hitting and smacking are the same thing. The only thing which isn't in my eyes, is punching which I bloody hope no one would EVER do to their child.

Yes.
No one has ever convinced me there is a better final sanction.

Personally I much preferred a quick smack to long protracted punishments.

I judge people who hit other people. Doesnt everyone?

No really never

I wasn't aware that hitting was a parenting style

No, never and it is one of the things parents do that annoy me most. Most wouldn't hit one another, or another grown up, but to hit (even a 'little smack' you talk of would be assault if inflicted on an adult) a child is ok...? Bizarre concept.

No, never. I don't hit or smack anyone, why would I hit a child.

why even ask? We all see hitting as wrong, some parents think it's o.k to smack for extremely naughty behaviour while others see it as one of the biggest parenting sins possible.

If anything I think it's worse with a pre verbal child - on paper they are getting a smack because they are struggling to communicate with you.

If you smack, when would/do you stop??

I think though that it's not a useful comparison to say you wouldn't hit an adult. No adult has ever treated me the way my children sometimes do when they're misbehaving. My DC have pushed me to the very limits of my tolerance, my DD in particular when she as younger. I think if any adult behaved towards me the way she used to, would be quite likely to get a smack.

One example I can think of was trying to get her to take a course of antibiotics, she could resist big time, scream for 30 mins solid, thrash, kick, spit etc. I did smack her then, and exasperatingly had to repeat that for the next doses. To put into perspective her behaviour, once when she was admitted to hospital the nurses/staff there couldn't get her to take any medicine either. We ended up being discharged early, we were told there was nothing they could do for us, as they couldn't administer the medicine , we would have to do it ourselves at home, the implication being by using brute force.

Only as a joke, and it's usually accompanied by a rousing chorus of "Spank that bum, spank that bum, spank that, spank that, spank that bum".
Then followed by a quick bite and "Mmmmmm, rump steak...."

I know people who do smack for real, and I've seen them do it and while it's not something I'd do (violence in childhood), I think that if it works for them.....ehh...what can you do? I think SS have got bigger fish to fry than an otherwise loving set of parents who choose to use an outdated method of discipline.

To me, it's inflicting violence on a smaller and weaker being. I've been tempted, believe me, but it's just not my bag.
I am, however, a real shouter, and I sometimes wonder if this isn't more damaging. I don't insult or berate the kids, but I bark orders.
I described myself as the Belgian woman from Austin Powers recently....I just have this Germanic, harsh booming voice that makes people jump and stare.

Not always, though, thankfully.

Hitting, oh sorry "smacking" is not a parenting style. It pretty much signifies a total lack of a parenting style IMO.

I agree with WhereMyMilk :

"No, never. There in lies the way to ruin. I think if I lost it that much it would terrify them. I don't want my children to be frightened of me as I was of my mother. I expect good behaviour and I explain to them what that behaviour is. Yes, sometimes it doesn't quite work out like that...but that is what warnings and the thinking corner is for."

I have only smacked my DS about 3 times in his whole life (28 months so far), and felt guilty each time. It is a sign that I've lost my temper and can't think of a better way to parent. I put him safely in his playpen or playroom, went away for 10 minutes to have a cup of tea and calm down, then came back and apologised to him and explained that it's not nice to smack people, and it's not right, and I was sorry.

I was smacked by my mum with a variety of things- wooden spoon, belt, etc - and you could say, "it never did me any harm!" but I don't agree. I want my relationship to be loving and respectful, with no hint of fear. I don't want my child to fear me, I want him to know that he can always come to me with his problems, that we will work something out.

personally i genuinely think all the 'naughty step' stuff is a lot more sadistic than a quick smack. i was smacked as a small child and it never rocked my view of my loving parents.

Where don't be facetious. Clearly I didn't mean hitting is a parenting style I'm just saying, some parents use it. Can't say as it bothers me much. If it bothers others though, then if you see it as abuse you really should go ahead and report it.

That's a good point, Disappearing. DD was phenomenally hard work, and I often thought to myself that if an adult was doing the things she used to do that no court in the land would find me guilty of assault!
However, turn that on its head - no adult does these things because they're adults...they've learned better, and ideally through discipline methods that don't involve smacking.

BTW, I don't think it's evil, just outdated and ineffective.

but a wooden spoon or belt is TOTALLY sadistic... a quick spank on the bot at the time of the incident is not. it might be a loss of control, sure, but i have seen parents using all sorts of sanctions badly.

Most people don't hit their children in view of others slatternly, they do it in private. I wonder why that is?

Ok all the non smackers give me an Effective way of getting an impossibly strong willed child to cooperate.

By the way this child is quite bright enough to see through all distraction techniques.

at thinking corner, btw.