to ask if you smack your children?

[toofattorun]

I am not talking beating! Just a smack on the hand or bum when they are being very rude or naughty.

Just as much as there is now? I doubt that very much. People had more morals, respected their elders more. I used to work with the elderly and they say the same thing, it never did them any harm.

Now we live in a generation of soft touches and PC gone mad, we're asbos and naughty steps reign.

We're pathetic.

Of course there were, you have been reading too much news, there are plenty of good nice and normal people in this world.

And its a bit daft to think if everyone starts smacking children we are all going to go back to some utopia were we all start skipping around and singing songs around a piano.

I expect when your elderly clients were my age they were getting told the same thing.

Of course there were, don't be ridiculous. We just didn't have the likes of the Mail Online to report on it every five seconds.

Until you got onto the PC gorn maaad stuff, I was going to say you sound a lot like me before I had a child. Suffice to say, it's different when you have one.

I don't like generic punishments as a rule, I think they're ineffective in teaching what you actually want your child to learn. That's my main anti-smacking argument, although I also have witnessed a couple of occasions when the absolute fear invoked on a child's face/bodily reactions upset me (and this was no "abusive" smack but the kind most people would think of as a "fair discipline" smack) and so I decided that actually no, I don't want that in my home ever.

No it's the life I live. I live in a world were people piss on war memorials, beat up the elderly, girls have that many different partners they don't know who their dad is, benefits are seen as GOOD thing. Theres no shame anymore.

I'm not saying smacking made all the good things possible, I'm saying LOOK at what people were like when it was the norm, and now look at us now living in the nanny state.

You're entitled to disagree so I'll leave it there.

There were plenty of babies born in the good ole days who didn't know their fathers, difference was it was seen as shameful and not spoken about.

There were no benefits but beggars and the workhouse.

Society moves on for a reason in my opinion. There always is and always has been good and bad, and smacking kids is not going to change that.

I have to say that when I see parents smacking their children in public, it makes me feel sick. Simply because of the fact that I've never seen a parent smack their child without having completely lost it with them - I.e whalloping them and screaming in their poor childs face.
Its the fact that these parents are so violent and aggressive with their children, grabbing them and shaking them - why the fuck have a child if you are going to treat it so horribly.
I am not saying that any parent on here disciplines like that - I am simply saying that I've never seen a parent smack their child in a situation where the parent is calm and in control - it is always when they are completely out of control and lashing out at their child because they cannot control their anger.

I had a friend the other day that accidently pulled her DD's hair, her DD automatically hit her mum (not hard, she is 4) and screamed that it hurt - friend then turned and smacked the girl... for smacking...
She could not see that her daughter has picked up on her actions - if she is angry then her reaction is to smack, her daughter has done the exact same thing.

I've also seen 'friends' smack their children because they wouldn't stop crying after being told off (and probably smacked) - I just honestly don't know how people can justify hitting a child?

I was going to say -

No, I can't even be arsed.

Wouldn't get that lackadaisical attitude in MY day bertie

Flipping new age lentil nonsense parents.

the only smackers you see in the UK, are the ones who do so in a rage (because non emotional "fair" smackers know not to do so in public and can control themselves and do it calmly)

so in general people in the UK aren't used to "normal" smacking and think all smacking = loose your temper kind (which is wrong)

What is a "normal" smack though?

Surely if the situation has been diffused and everyone is nice and calm why even do it in the first place?

when the adult is calm

the average smacker in the UK has lost control and is in a rage
but that's not the average smacker overall

no sort of discipline is good in a rage, the adult needs to step back and be in control and not treat it like a barney with an equal

(not a smacker myself BTW, but have seen plenty of smacking that did not alarm me, however every smacker I've ever seen in the UK DID alarm me)

Pickle a 'normal' smack is not when a parent has totally lost control of their anger and therefore whallops poor child repeatedly whilst screaming in their face and shaking them violently.
That is what kind of 'smackers' monkey and I are talking about.

normal smacking is consistant, it is ALWAYS for the same bunch of things

"bad" smacking is when something that is ignored one day (like a bit of whinging) provokes an extreme reaction and smacking another day - its not about the deed it's about the parent loosing their temper

I see what your saying. I suppose we only see the Rage Smackers. I have never ever seen a controlled smack in anyone's home or out and about.

I smacked all 3 of mine (separately, not a collective walloping!). Very rarely and only when they had pushed and pushed and pushed but couldnt be reasoned with to stop. IME this stage is passed by the time they start school (or perhaps school beats it out of them, who knows?).

Depending on the child I think smacking can have its place. Many children go through a mobile, vocal but no sense stage. Reasoning wont work. They arent mini adults. Consequences need to be instant.

If you are smacking 'consistently' for the same 'bunch' of things it is obviously not working.

No but to keep hitting someone for the same thing? How can you justify striking a child who puts all its trust and faith in you? No one who hits can ever see te wrong in it which I just find so hard to believe. You are all bloody mad

Rabbitee The point is that why smack if its no more effective than a non violent method? The main thrust of the pro smackers is that its a quicker, more effective tool of discipline. So if you are constantly smacking for the same thing, then no it isn't.

If a child who is smacked then chooses this as a method of showing his displeasure at another you can,t really blame him/her ad it must be very difficult to teach a child who is smacked not to smack others.

Not usually, as I actually think it rarely has any useful effect and is a kind of violence that I disapprove of, but during a pre-menstrual and very tired moment last week, I confess I did find myself smacking my 11 year old on his bottom, for giving me serious lip. It didn't half bring him up short, and he's been angelic ever since.

No one has claimed to have the perfect method of discipline but those who choose to smack often say its more effective. (or have commonly on this thread.)