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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have expected my dh to do this without complaining?

129 replies

Breeks · 22/05/2012 20:50

I am a SAHM and I don't drive.
Dh works full time and does.

It was parents evening tonight and my appointment was for 7. The school is a mile and a half away - I walk to and fom the school twice a day (with three children) as it is. We were cutting it fine for making it on time as we were still eating dinner at 6.30.

I said to dh he might have to give me a lift to the school, and he reacted quite badly to this, saying he was fed up with driving today, and pretty much (to my mind) behaving as if I'd asked him to saw off a leg.

We had words, as I was totally pissed off at his unhelpfulness, and in the end rather than have the hassle, I walked on foot quickly.

He thinks he should be allowed to say no. I think he should have been happy to help.

I am back home and the silence is deafening.

Who is BU?

OP posts:
MrsMcEnroe · 22/05/2012 20:53

Depends on whose fault it was that you were still eating dinner at 6.30 but YANBU to ask your husband to give you a lift!

You do know that, before the end of the first page of this thread, someone will suggest that you learn to drive, don't you? Wink

SoDesperate · 22/05/2012 20:54

He is!

For one reason he should have gone too! At the very least should really ought to have given you a lift there - and back again!

Original poster
Breeks · 22/05/2012 20:54

I'd love to. Money is the problem - I can't afford to.

We were actually early with tea tonight because of parents evening - we normally don't sit down to eat until 6.30....dh doesn't get in till the back of 6, and we like to eat as a family.

OP posts:
Mama1980 · 22/05/2012 20:55

Why didn't he go?

plantsitter · 22/05/2012 20:55

Why wasn't DH going to parents' evening?

Jubilcece · 22/05/2012 20:55

Why didn't your DH go with you?!

Original poster
Breeks · 22/05/2012 20:55

He never does. It's always just me.

OP posts:
overmydeadbody · 22/05/2012 20:55

I'd say if you need a lift, you need to arrange it in advance, why were you still eating at 6:30 and why hadn't arrangements for how to get to the school made in advance of then?

Did your DH not want to go to the parents evening?

Monty27 · 22/05/2012 20:55

Wasn't he interested in attending parent's/parents' evening? Aside from that query, YANBU. Giving you a lift with your dc is the least he could do.

FallenCaryatid · 22/05/2012 20:56

He's being a prat, it was his child's parents' evening. He should have come too.
Even if he was tired and grumpy, he should have given the lift without a second thought.

emsyj · 22/05/2012 20:56

Here, MrsMcEnroe, I'll do it - learn to drive!!! Grin

But to answer your question, YANBU. He is mean and selfish and horrid. I would be furious if DH refused to help me when I needed it. And yes, I do always always help him when he needs it unless it is physically impossible for me to do so.

Original poster
Breeks · 22/05/2012 20:56

He tends to stay at home with the little ones - it's less hassle that way.

OP posts:
doormat · 22/05/2012 20:56

i agree he should of been there and taken you

emsyj · 22/05/2012 20:56

And must add, I agree that he should be interested enough to go too.

rhondajean · 22/05/2012 20:57

Did he go to parents night?

rhondajean · 22/05/2012 20:57

Sorry too late!

Flyingwithoutwings · 22/05/2012 20:57

Next time tell him to go instead of you... And make him walk Wink

waltermittymissus · 22/05/2012 20:58

He's an arse!

raindroprhyme · 22/05/2012 20:59

I would have said i'm too tired to walk down to parents evening can you in instead. Then he could have enjoyed a nice walk in the fresh air after all the driving he has done and take some responsibility for his children's education.

albertswearengen · 22/05/2012 21:02

You were going to a parents evening of course he should've driven you. If you were off down the pub/bookies/bingo then he might have had a case. So YANBU and he is an arse.

Firawla · 22/05/2012 21:03

I think your dh was out of order and quite unkind, would it kill him to make a bit of effort? I would not be impressed yanbu to be pd off

TroublesomeEx · 22/05/2012 21:04

Shouldn't have been an issue - both parents at parents evening. And if not, he should at least have considered it important enough to drive you there.

Especially since you'd already done the walk twice today!

fedupofnamechanging · 22/05/2012 21:05

I'm a non driving sahm too, and like you, I don't drive because of the cost involved in learning and running a car. However, if my husband did something so utterly prickish (not sure if that's a word) as refusing to drive me to our child's parents evening, I would feed him baked beans for as long as it took to fund the lessons! I would cancel his Sky Sports and basically cut out anything that made his life nice, in order to pay for the lessons.

If one person in the couple cannot drive, then the other one should willingly do it for them,especially for something as important as parent's evening.

I also think he is prickish for never attending something so important.

MrsBucketxx · 22/05/2012 21:06

yanbu

if they have no childcare one will have to stay with the children wont they.

what should of happened is you have tea earlier (preparing dh's at the same time and place in oven to keep warm) with dc's he get home bung kids in car, drop you off . dh goes home puts kids to bed, eats dinner by which time he could come and pick you up. simples.

thirdfromleft · 22/05/2012 21:09

Funnily enough this is a sticking point for me with DW. She is never interested in driving me even a short distance, regardless of circumstances. I've learnt not to expect it.