is he up to no good?

[mummytogorguztwinsxx]

Hi im new on here and really need some advice. Ive been with my husband for 3.5yrs and married for 1 was our anniversary may 11th. We have gorguz twin boys that are 2.5yrs. Up until the 28th april everything was great with our family, we were even trying for another baby.

The 28th april changed my life forever. My husbands ex partner from 5years ago showed up with his son!! Which he never knew about, his son is 4 in august. Which obviously shows this did not happen whilst we have been together but she did choose to keep his son from him n basically played god with his life.

Anyway since he has found out about him 3 weeks ago he has been spending hours and hours with them n no time at all with his twins, he's been coming home at midnight and even 2am once, they are also constantly txting eaxh other, i understand that he wants to be a dad and do the right thing and i support that, but its the secretive texts n the coming home late, also when he is out with them he wont answer the phone or my txts. They went to bkackpool last sat and he txt me a 9pm to say they were staying over and no matter how much i pleaded with him not to he still did it. The folliwing day he came home and after an hour or so he had a bath, when i asked for his washing there was no boxers, he says he left them at the hotel because they were full of sand from the beach which could be believable, but he h ad them in when he came home.

To top it all off we fouund out i was preg on 8/5 he imnediately told me i had to abort it as it isnt the right. time or situation to bring a baby up, this really really hurt me as it is something we have both wanted for over a year, we decided on monday to keep the baby but unfortunately i had a musscarriage on tuesday but my husband has not been here for me at all, i went to the hospital on my own and got home past midnight on tues, then weds he went straight out from work at 5.30pm with them and returned at midnight, as i am writing this he is out with them he went at 4 and has said he will be back by 12, i dont understand why u would have a 3yr old out that late.

Please could somebody help me am i over reacting? Is he just excited about this new son or is it more about spending more time with her????

Very hydrated, so that will mean a lot of drinking in the Trafford Centre this evening I expect....

Well he's been told sort it today so that we all meet nxt sat we sort set time etc that we have him not him and her and if he isnt prepared to do that he can leave.

So will see what happens today he'll either do it or he wont its that simple.

If he doesnt were done we have to be my kids are my priority and the 3 of us deserve better

Sleeping with her or not.. IF this saga is true, then he has effectively dumped his wife, and abandoned his kids for the last three weeks, to build a relationship with a small child, who does not need such an intensive introduction to someone in this way, and the bloke seems to have no regard at all for his wife and children at home. The whole thing has been handled in the most bizarre way imaginable, and I just find it too far fetched really.

But this wee boy didn't even know you or he or his twin brothers existed 3 weeks ago.

Don't you think it's all a bit rapid to be taking your kids to the park to meet him? He's only 4.

She has drove to manchester to do the run he is then getting the tram to the park

And please remember, you had a miscarriage on Tuesday, that's only 4 full days, you really shouldn't be doing too much - are you sure you'd be able to cope with 3 kids at the park?

Babylon he's getting the tram with his DS to meet OP at the park.

Ive said im not going to the park to meet them as i dont think its right to do it behind her back and is definitely not fare on the child or my twins

And i can tell u as crazy as this all sounds it is 100% true

But you just had a miscarriage 4 days ago and you have toddler twins to look after and he's off fanny about to support his ex doing a charity run miles away and wants you to go jolly to the park.

Is there no one in this scenario who can have a titter of wit and talk some sense?

I mean, the very next day after you decide not to have a termination you have a miscarriage.

Emotionally that must be so so difficult to deal with, quite apart from the physical issues.

His mum dad and step dad have all tried talking to him he just agrees to what they say so they'll stop going on and the just still does as he pleases. Anyway im not going park im not making the effort so correct our marriage i didnt mess it uo in the first place he did so its up to him to do whatever it takes

To be honest i havnt really had the chance to get my head round thr m/c fully yet because of all the other issues its just all been mentally and physically draining. Esp doing what us women do best putting a brave face on esp for my kids

Think what u want my kids are playing infront of me right now. I only wanted some advice as to what others who dont know us thought. Whether i was over reacting and looking into it too much etc. This is defintley not for attention if that was the case id seek that from friends and family not strangers. But the last thing i am is an attention seeker just wanted some help

What help can we provide for you ? We're over the internet, not local, not face to face.

You wouldn't want to hear what I really think, and I wouldn't post it here as it would get me deleted.

I might swear.

Fine. Well thank you to all of you that have helped me and i wouldnt have been as strong i wouldve prob continued to take the crap. Like i said earlier he has a decision to make today so will see what happens. And as for those who dont believe it thats your choice but this is actually my life if i cud make this up id be pretty sick dont u think

I believe your genuine. You are having a rough time and have sought support. Sometimes it's easier to "speak" to transfers when you're really hurting.

You're ^

Strangers^

Sorry, thumb + tiredness + iPhone are not mixing well this morning

OP, you're being a mug.

I'm all for fathers seeing their children, of course, but this is just one massive pisstake. Staying out til gone midnight every time with a small child? He's having a fucking laugh. And so are you, putting up with it.

Sorry and all that, but unless you sort this out right now, it's only going to get worse.

Good luck mummy I think you will need it. There is no excuse for being with another woman at that time of night. My ex h and I are the best of friends and still wouldn't do that. Very very strange and alarm bells would be ringing in my head.

I think you are telling the truth. Drip feeding because your head is a bit mixed up understandably because so much has gone on.

Sometimes it's easier to get advice from faceless strangers. Admitting a problem to your nearest and dearest can be hard.

Dont listen to anyone's negativity. Just be strong. Sack that drip of a husband and concentrate on your boys.
He should have put you first as his wife and he didn't!

It sounds like you should seriously consider calling social services to report the mother. Taking a 4 year old out until midnight whilst the mother gets drunk and assumes the father, who the child has only just met, will take care of him whilst she is drunk? Completely inappropriate. The fact that it is a regular occurrence must surely make this something social services would want to be aware of?

I know this thata why ive said what ive said today and if he doesnt do it to save his marriage and family its over i wont be treated like that and def wont have my kids put on the sidelines.