is he up to no good?

[mummytogorguztwinsxx]

Hi im new on here and really need some advice. Ive been with my husband for 3.5yrs and married for 1 was our anniversary may 11th. We have gorguz twin boys that are 2.5yrs. Up until the 28th april everything was great with our family, we were even trying for another baby.

The 28th april changed my life forever. My husbands ex partner from 5years ago showed up with his son!! Which he never knew about, his son is 4 in august. Which obviously shows this did not happen whilst we have been together but she did choose to keep his son from him n basically played god with his life.

Anyway since he has found out about him 3 weeks ago he has been spending hours and hours with them n no time at all with his twins, he's been coming home at midnight and even 2am once, they are also constantly txting eaxh other, i understand that he wants to be a dad and do the right thing and i support that, but its the secretive texts n the coming home late, also when he is out with them he wont answer the phone or my txts. They went to bkackpool last sat and he txt me a 9pm to say they were staying over and no matter how much i pleaded with him not to he still did it. The folliwing day he came home and after an hour or so he had a bath, when i asked for his washing there was no boxers, he says he left them at the hotel because they were full of sand from the beach which could be believable, but he h ad them in when he came home.

To top it all off we fouund out i was preg on 8/5 he imnediately told me i had to abort it as it isnt the right. time or situation to bring a baby up, this really really hurt me as it is something we have both wanted for over a year, we decided on monday to keep the baby but unfortunately i had a musscarriage on tuesday but my husband has not been here for me at all, i went to the hospital on my own and got home past midnight on tues, then weds he went straight out from work at 5.30pm with them and returned at midnight, as i am writing this he is out with them he went at 4 and has said he will be back by 12, i dont understand why u would have a 3yr old out that late.

Please could somebody help me am i over reacting? Is he just excited about this new son or is it more about spending more time with her????

Fuckaram I've checked the Trafford centre website and the restaurants are open till past twelve.

That's a lot of time away from his other kids, hopefully he can find balance with your help.

It only came out because one of his mates told him that he thought this lad was his as he looks a spit of him. So my dh got her number and confronted her so basically if it was up to her he wouldnt know now and prob never wud but she is like well i know now so lets play happy families, i feel she is up to one thing or another she either wants him back and the whole family thing as she is stillvat her parents or she wants my dh to have him all the time, but she has said that ahe doesnt want me to have anyrhing to do with his son for a good while yet which i cud understand if i was a gf of a couple of months bur im his wife

Yes traf ctr is def open late and they let kids in all the restaurants no matter what time it is

But you said she showed up with her son? Not that your DH confronted her?

Sorry i see what u mean just way i see it is she has just appeared and now he is dedicating so much time to them. She had kept it a secret until recently when she did admit to mutual friends that her son is my husbands just seems like a big game like she wanted him to find out rather than her be honest

I hope you get the help you need.

I'm leaving this thread now.

It all sounds bizarre

Thank you i hope so too

Worraliberty. It is bizarre its just driving me mad just wish people cud be honest

Really sorry about what you are going through. I really feel for you. I think your husband seriously needs to set up some boundaries. Separated parents do not spend that much time together especially in hotels and he says he hates her!!. He seems to be doing a lot of talking and trying to keep you happy but his actions shows in my opinion does he still have a connection with her. You need to put your foot down and get him to act the decent way. He is being so disrespectful to you. He is allowing the situation and disregarding your feeling. Don't let him! Don't put up with the situation.

Thank you for that i know is need to put my foot down i hope he comes home tonight when he said he would even tho i txt him at 9.30 and have not yet haf a reply from him

gorguz???

gorguz???

Sorry, but this really does sound too bizarre.

To answer your question, yes I do think he's up to no good. However he has a bizarre excuse which evidently you have given him the benefit of the doubt on.

I suggest you don't dwell on the past two weeks, you're never going to get to the bottom of it. I'd you want to be with this man you need to move on, stop being naive and grow a pair.

Lay down some ground rules:

• the boy is part of the family so your h has no reason to be meeting up and taking him away to get to know him. Bring him to your house.
• the mother is an ex, and is only in the picture for logistical reasons. He has no reason to be spending time with her if there's nothing going on. Right? They need to communicate and to be civil but the secretive meeting up and nights away, and 'returning from trafford centre' at 2am stops immediately.
• allocate a weekly time and day that she drops off son and picks up. Be there.
• His priority is you, his wife and your twins. End if story.

He is being a dick. If he thinks any of this is unreasonable or he doesn't pull finger, I'd leave the bastard.

Well to keep you updated. He finally txt last night at 11.30pm to say he was leaving the traff ctr and taking her to her friends as she has had too much to drink to go to her parents and to basically look after there son! He put his son to bed and returned home. He has spoke to her today and said they need to sort things proper, she was busy all day and cudnt meet till 7pm so that is where he is now. I gave him an ultimatum sort it for set days at set times n stick to it or loose me n the twins. Just will have to wait and see now if he does this and mainly comes home at a reasonable hour tonigh, if not i will have no option but to leave his stuff on the doorstep as it isnt fare on out children and that is my priority. Thank you to all of you that have helped me, my head is still a mess but only time will tell what our future will hold.

If he has he child for the day it should include you and the twins.If the little boy is going to become part of your dh family.You realise he will have to pay child support now too...

What a load of twaddle!

He's just spending time with his son, while she's get pissed?

Rubbish.

They're having a good ol time together.

He's as irresponsible as her, dragging a poor kid around that time of night while out on the piss. Horrible, horrible, horrible. Look after you and your twins. He's up to something.

Was he looking after the twins while you were in hospital? Or were they with family? He needs to see his son without his ex. There needs to be proper visitation arrangements in place and the son needs to be with your family for those visits, or they need to take place in a contact centre. Especially as there is a history of violence in his relationship.

What he is doing is very, very inappropriate. But you knew that.

Retromom, i said that to him this morning i said that they are horrendous parents and if we do split he can get any ideas out of his head of havin the twins over night as i couldnt trust him to not have them out till all times which obviously caused yet another argument.
My h was driving so therefore didnt drink just seems if it is true she took advantage of him driving n looking after there son whilst she got drunk.

Rubygates yes he stayed home with the boys but his mum lives 10 mins away and he could've rung her and she would have come.

Hang on.... you first say he is 4... which shows it can't have happened whilst you were together, then you ask why he would be keeping a three year old out that late. Ho old is he?

Sorry he is 4 in august he was 2 months old when we got together

Scratch that. Can't read. Sorry.

It lead to another argument because he knows what he is doing is wrong. He is behaving inappropriately. He is not only seeing this woman to see his son. If this was about his son only there ways to see his boy without having to entertain a drunken ex in the process to way past midnight.