is he up to no good?

[mummytogorguztwinsxx]

Hi im new on here and really need some advice. Ive been with my husband for 3.5yrs and married for 1 was our anniversary may 11th. We have gorguz twin boys that are 2.5yrs. Up until the 28th april everything was great with our family, we were even trying for another baby.

The 28th april changed my life forever. My husbands ex partner from 5years ago showed up with his son!! Which he never knew about, his son is 4 in august. Which obviously shows this did not happen whilst we have been together but she did choose to keep his son from him n basically played god with his life.

Anyway since he has found out about him 3 weeks ago he has been spending hours and hours with them n no time at all with his twins, he's been coming home at midnight and even 2am once, they are also constantly txting eaxh other, i understand that he wants to be a dad and do the right thing and i support that, but its the secretive texts n the coming home late, also when he is out with them he wont answer the phone or my txts. They went to bkackpool last sat and he txt me a 9pm to say they were staying over and no matter how much i pleaded with him not to he still did it. The folliwing day he came home and after an hour or so he had a bath, when i asked for his washing there was no boxers, he says he left them at the hotel because they were full of sand from the beach which could be believable, but he h ad them in when he came home.

To top it all off we fouund out i was preg on 8/5 he imnediately told me i had to abort it as it isnt the right. time or situation to bring a baby up, this really really hurt me as it is something we have both wanted for over a year, we decided on monday to keep the baby but unfortunately i had a musscarriage on tuesday but my husband has not been here for me at all, i went to the hospital on my own and got home past midnight on tues, then weds he went straight out from work at 5.30pm with them and returned at midnight, as i am writing this he is out with them he went at 4 and has said he will be back by 12, i dont understand why u would have a 3yr old out that late.

Please could somebody help me am i over reacting? Is he just excited about this new son or is it more about spending more time with her????

I know i was really sure but after speaking to my mum and sister they pretty much suggested that i say this is how it has to be or your out and then let him make that decision, which is what im doing ive told him he has till tea time

So really, your fate is in his hands and you're giving him the control.

Are you sure this won't just lead to days and days of more drama?

Because I for one would be getting fed up of the constant drama by now.

They were in there bedroom and we was in the kitchen with the door closed, we weren't shouting it was all very calm and to the point. I would never let my children see or hear anything i had that as a child till i was adopted when i was 7 i know first hand what it does and theres no way id put my kids through that.

But can't you see what you are putting your kids through now?

I'm not so sure that I'd believe that he didn't know about the son if I was you.

I am fed up thats why ive said sort it today or leave as i wont put up with it anymore

And how is he going to "sort it" when he's off playing happy families with his ex and their wee boy?

The only way he could "sort it", surely, is by investing time and emotional energy in you and his twins? And being with you today?

I know he didnt know about him as ive spoke to his mun about it even she asked her parents and they said point blank no he wasnt the dad.

Fuckarama you are not being nice at all.

Th op has made a decision for her and her twins it is not our place to judge her.

I hope it all works out for you op

She asked her own parents who the father of her child was?

Jesus you need to go on Jeremy Kyle.

He isnt with her today she is doing the race and he us taking his son off for dinner and to the park..he had just txt and asked me to go and meet him at the park

His mum asked his exes parents thinking that being parents themselves they wouldnt lie but they did

You may see it as not being nice.

But I see it as being realistic.

I've not been rude. Or sworn.

The OP asked in AIBU. And she's going to get a frank range of opinions.

How is he getting to the park if you have the car?

I am really really confused now.

Blimey this is all unbelieveable!

As far as I understand it, my2centsis, as long as one posts within talk guidelines (as an example, not indulging in personal attacks) then anyone is perfectly entitled to post anywhere they like on MN.

Maybe you should ask HQ for clarification of this, since it seems you think I shouldn't be posting here? As far as I am aware I have not broken any talk guidelines.

Tram

It is really Kate... I dont really believe it, but I am playing along.

The thing is the other mum is doing the right thing for her child by being present when OP's DH meets his son, who neither knew the other existed untill 3 weeks ago.
What is wrong about the whole thing is that they seem to be fast tracking it so that the DH can spend time alone with his ds and the other mum gets peace. I would have expected a relationship being built up over months rather than weeks.
Neither of them in their blinkered state are giving two hoots about the children he lives with leaving the OP to basically be a single mum to them.
You have told him quite clearly what you expect for your own family and what will happen if he is not willing to put you guys at the front of his priorities list. Only time will tell what he chooses and if there has been any wrong doing on their behalf.
Protect your kids first they need you to be strong.

I would love to know how she is going to do this 10k run when she was so hammered on Friday night she was incapable of going home...

You can walk to the park you know, or get a bus, or a lift, or borrow a car.

OP, FWIW, I dont think he is sleeping with her, I do think he has been sucked briefly into a negative relationship with her.

Im not going to go into details, but something happened to my child from my first marriage, I had to have a lot of dealings with ex, I got sucked emotionally (over phone), into this massively negative relationship with him for a few days, hours and hours of calls and tears. I was propelled right back to what it was like being with him (bloody horrible btw).

It took a really brave (and good friend) to point it out to me, I stopped immeadiately, I wasnt sleeping with ex, I wasnt even seeing him, but I was very much in the wrong.

I apologised to DH and things with DH are fine (fuck all else is).

Hang on mummy you said a minute ago that she picked him up at 8.45 to drive to Manchester and now you've just said he got the tram??

So which is it??

I think there are some major omissions happening here, at the very least some irregular postings?

I've been following thread through the night and I'm sorry but a lot of this just doesn't ring true to me at all

I was thinking that too Squeaky, but at the end of the day, she's doing it for Charity, so presumably all that matters is that she finishes? Not her time?

Although I'm sure she'll be shattered by the end, and very very dehydrated, surely?