for being pissed off for being told shush by a friend with a sleeping baby...

[fran28]

was outside a supermarket today with a friend and her child when another friend came up with her 5 month old boy...i said hello and started talking and she told me to shush cos her baby was asleep? we were outside a supermarket? is this not a bit precious?

oh and i have my own toddler and know how tired it can make you but still...i would hardly expect to be able to shush people out in the supermarket!

Lots of people have claimed empathy for the mother of said child, but no one has claimed it for Fran. Who could have been having a bad day herself and be upset thus taking the (unintentionally?) rude shush the wrong way.

Two way street innit?

Life don't work that way though when you're in a situation, only afterwards when you can analyse the whys and wherefores.

Yep fran, this is exactly what mumsnet is for - criticising the behaviour of people you vaguely know (but will call a 'friend' for the purposes of the post) in a slightly passive-aggressive way and getting other people to agree with you.

But it is fran telling us the story, it is up to her to say, 'Maybe I took it the wrong way because...' The mother is the one being criticised with no way of defending herself.

And I think this may be one of those situations where far too much time is spent analysing the whys and wherefores!

**

Haha exactly!

haha...i dont expect people to agree with me...but its starting to feel like im wasting yer time by posting it? i had a bad day yesterday and just wanted to get other peoples opinion..i just thought it was ridiculous to shush someone in supermarket...obviously not everyone here thinks it is fair enough..we all have different ways of doing things..i just wouldnt of been that rude..and i had plenty of sleepness nights myself

obviously im not pissed off...im not that sensitive...if that was all i had to worry about..i would be well sorted in life

fran How on earth are you wasting our time? We're having great fun with our debate! Thats what mumsnet is all about

:-)
Yes, I am supposed to be working but this is much better

YABU. It was probably just an instant reaction and she thinks she knows you well enough that you wouldn't take offence.

good cos i do think she had no right to shush me in the street..

fran are you honestly saying that you don't think you have ever been slightly short with someone, ever? She may not even have perceived her 'shush' as rude, she probably didn't give it a second thought, but I find it hard to believe when people say they have never been rude. Bet you think you haven't but someone took offence anyway, you just don't know because they were polite enough to let it go.

That's an echo, not subliminal messaging...

she isnt that type of person...she wouldnt care who she offends..i have a few other issues with her too ..but it has nothing to do with this

YANBU!!

I sympathise with her...but I wouldn't have told anyone to shush outside a supermarket like that, when I had a wee baby.

If she wants shush - she can go home or sit in library.
Rude.

Quite, Pictish.

i have been rude before etc...but how can she think its ok to shush another adult? in the street? after she comes up to talk to us? no one forced her to come up talking to us? if my child is asleep in her buggy and i go up talking to someone and she wakes up? thats my own look out!

I agree Fran!

Do you have a shouty voice? Most people instinctively lower their voice when they realise a baby is sleeping, some people (always the shouters) don't. If she was being a little rude at least she has an excuse, shouters have none.

Ha ha YANBU. But I have been known to ask DH to turn the volume down when we're in the cinema in case it wakes the kids up. Even though the kids are at home. And mine are 9 and 5 so I'm not even sleep deprived!

I don't think she sounds rude or precious, she sounds tired. And you sound as if you don't like her anyway.

I agree that shushing can be very annoying though, my DH gets irrational rage if someone shushes him.

This brings back memories of trying to transfer napping DS from the car to the house without waking him. The ice cream van used to always pick that time to go past playing its stupid, loud tune. I used to fantasise about throwing one of those stingers in the road in front of him.

It wouldn't have been so bad, but I live in a tiny cul de sac and there was never another soul about. I was sure he did it on purpose.

But surely she's surrounded by shouty voices, children and cars at a supermarket.Hardly a nice peaceful place to go if you don't want to wake a baby.

ALL OF YOU!!!!

shush

YANBU, she was rude. If she wanted to be quiet she shouldn't have come over. DH was SHOUTED at by a friend with a 5 month old on new years eve!! for scraping his chair along the floor and making a noise! While we were crowded around trying to hear the barely audible telly (couldn't turn it up as the PFB was in bed). what a party we had that year. Another friend we stayed over and were asked not to flush the loo in the night and DH did a big poo.

oOoo bunny we've experienced this too!

Barely audible tv, no toilet flushing after precious is in bed (6.30pm), whispered conversations.

Baby was two floors above us through several shut doors fgs

How the shushed have suffered :(

SHUSHED BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

I gave a very angry look to a dog last week - it barked at a squirrel as I went past with DS in his pram. Dog owner spotted cats bum face and I was v embarrassed - but had only just got overtired baby to sleep & was at the danger stage of near waking.

On the side of 'cut her some slack' as above. Precious, maybe, but sleep deprivation makes maniacs of us all...