for being pissed off for being told shush by a friend with a sleeping baby...

[fran28]

was outside a supermarket today with a friend and her child when another friend came up with her 5 month old boy...i said hello and started talking and she told me to shush cos her baby was asleep? we were outside a supermarket? is this not a bit precious?

oh and i have my own toddler and know how tired it can make you but still...i would hardly expect to be able to shush people out in the supermarket!

Well good on you littlmslazybones for having enough resilience and emotional intelligence! We are all different. Refusing to put up with being spoken to badly doesn't indicate that someone doesn't have resiliance and isn't intelligent! What a self-righteous, patronising view.

I think there's a WORLD of difference between "shush" and "would you mind just keeping it down a little"

to be honest..im not great friends with her...so no im not a good friend cos she isnt a nice person but i try and be nice to her and i wasnt having a huff...i thought that this is what mumsnet was for? just wanted to see what other people thought.

And actually despite what I've said it probably would depend on a) the tone of the 'sshhhh' and b) if the friend had previous form for being rude or abrupt. If it was a one off and was said with a smile and in a lighthearted manner then I would probably let it go. If it was said rudely as if I was a naughty child and the friend was demanding or had said/done other similar things before then I would just walk off.

Fran, if she's not a nice person generally then after this incident I just wouldn't bother with her again. Just be busy when you see her, don't stop and chat, just a quick 'hello, must dash and in any case I wouldn't want to wake your baby again' would suffice

Fran, you're quite right, of course you can start a thread about whatever you want & that was poor wording on my part. (I still think YABU though!)

'What a self-righteous, patronising view'.

You see I have enough resilience and emotional intelligence for that comment not to ruin my day.

(How's that for self-righteous and patronising?)

Well, I think she sounds a bit rude really.
She must have been passing all sorts of noise from people all over the supermarket, did she expect everybody to stand in silence when she walked past with her precious child?

Ditto here with your comments littlemslazybones. No day ruined here either

Fran this is exactly what MN is for. You will get different responses and if you can't deal with it (not you specifically, you generally), don't ask!

She was being a bit precious, but you don't know what her day/night had been like leading up to that one moment. YABU to be pissed off, this is something that should be forgotten fairly quickly.

What would she do if a vehicle came past that made excessive noise I wonder? Like one of those really noisy motorbikes?

i wasnt up all night thinking about this...was just confused as to why a person would walk toward and wave at people and then shush them?

'was just confused as to why a person would walk toward and wave at people and then shush them?'

Yeah, that is weird. Ignore the above. (Still have flashbacks from colic induced hazed and a bit defensive)

God I was sleep deprived with DS2. I probably offended people left right and centre trying to keep him asleep.

YABU to be too offended by this. Have a little bit of empathy.

i do have empathy, i know how hard it is...i did it more or less all on my own.. but if she wanted him to stay to sleep? why walk up to people you know you will be talking to?

is your nickname foghorn leghorn
one day i just put dd2 to sleep which was rare in the day, mil knocked on door, before i got to the door she knocked again loudly, then when i opened the door the shrieked hello we weere just passing, i said dd2 is asleep as i opened the door, mil shrieked wheres dd1, i said she is out but dd2 is asleep so please could you be a bit quieter, bang she slammed the door behind her and started shrieking about where they had been, i actually said to he shut up
i was so tired and knew she would wake dd2 and id asked nicely and it slipped out.
mil has one volume, shrieky loud.
when told by dp that her voice was loud she skrieked on for 5 mins about how she has a soothing voice that babies love

familyfun I know someone like that. Very loud, everyone is always having to ask her to keep her voice down, and not just around babies.

Fran, maybe she wanted to have a chat but to do it quietly, and just expressed it badly? Honestly, it is unlikely you will arrive at a detailed breakdown of her thoughts, but it's bound to be something like that surely. I wouldn't give it another thought, people do contradictory things all the time because people are inconsistent by nature :)

i wasnt in her house? if i was in her house...fair enough??

YABU I still remember the days when dd was 5 months, reflux and teething who thought sleep was for the weak.

I have told people to shush and shut the fuck up

What about the empathy for fran? Who was waved over and told to shush?!

Why is there no empathy for people who don't have sleepless kids? why do they have to put up with rudeness?

Shush first, explain later is how I work. Sometimes people get huffy and don't give me a chance. If it is when I am out I try to be cheery with it, but if people catch me unarmed by being louder or shorter than I expect then reflex rude shush happens.

OK, ItsA. You've got me pinned with logic. I give in.

waves JUSTICE FOR THE SHUSHED placard

unintentional bold

PublicForum people are told on here time and time again that if someone seems as if they are being rude, to consider the circumstances. That does not just apply to people with children. One day, maybe fran or someone else will be ill, worried about money or work, having sleepless nights and might be a little short with someone. Hopefully someone will give her the benefit of the doubt and let it go.

The baby lady was a little short with her 'shush', not like she told the OP to fuck off and gave her a black eye. Now that would have been rude...