To be furious about dd's hair cut?

[Hockacholic]

7 year old dd went to play at a friends house yesterday. Dd had long bum length hair but when she got dropped home friends mum (a hairdresser) had cut dd's hair into a shoulder length bob! I didn't see the mum as she just dropped dd at the door and she came in on her own. I am so upset dd had never had her hair cut it was lovely, I know I can't do any thing about it now and dd is happy with her new hair style. AIBU to think friends mum should have spoken to me about this first?

So you go to the hairdresser with. 13 year old and tell the hair dresser what to do? Really??

How old are your children seeker ?

11 and 16. Why?

my 12 yr old ds1 goes to the hairdresser on his own and has his hair the style he wants, its long i have no issues with that provided he washes it and keeps it in good condition.

ds3 had his hair cut at the wkend, he went with dp, he was going fora trim, but at the hairdressers decided he wanted it short like ds2, must admit when he arrived home i was a bit shocked, but its looks lovely and i told him so, he is 7 and HE chose his hair style but he had a parent there with him to check, dp wouldnt have said no, but i do think a parent needs to be there/or at least be given a head up.

My Parents would not let me choose my own haircut till after i was 16. They still say if i have it cut off they wont love me as much! They are quite mad tho!

I have never been confident enough to have it cut after being told by them i would look ugly if i did. Also every male i have been with have commented on how much they like it and how they wouldn't find me as physically attractive if it was shorter.

But my issue would be the lack of consultation not the choice of the child.

It's a haircut. Get over it.

It is completely unnacceptable. I am sure if it went to court (not that I'm suggesting it should go that far!) the law would come down on the side of the parent. A 7 yr old cannot give their permission for things to be done to them hence permission slips at school to apply suncream etc. I cannot believe anyone would do this and think it was ok - IT IS NOT OK

If this is real then I am astonished the OP did not pick up the phone straight away...
Finding the dropping-back-home arrangements fishy too...

Re the hair - other mum should have asked. But some 7 year olds ARE old enough to know how they want their hair. Dd has had some very short pixie cuts. shoulder lenght hair and short bobs, all her choice. (she is now 9) She is currently going through fringe-growing-out hell. The second time in her life (fickle, no?) She looks(imo) pretty with both longer and with shorter hair so I don't mind. Her hair is one of the few things in her life over which she has complete control, I can advise, but I do not dictate. I save that for battles which matter.

But OP, if this is real, ring the other mother. She needs to know that this is not allowed to happen.

i would be rather disappointed, when DD has her first proper haircut i want to make a girly day of it and have our hairs done together, then go out for a meal ect.

I would feel like she has taken that day from me, and tbh i would be gutted

It's not ok because children sometimes regret decisions like having their hair cut short, often it's just a passing whim, & need to be reminded it takes ages to grow back, & this should be discussed first between child & parent.

Our childminder used to cut my daughter's hair - one time DD1 said she wanted it in a very short style - CM checked with me first whether it was ok as it was so drastic, I said to cut it in a bob first then if DD1 wanted it shorter at another time she would have the option. DD1 liked the bob for a week then said she wanted to grow it...

Ok update .took dd to gymnastics tonight where friend also attends, haircut mum saw me and came straight over to see how happy I am with new hair style. I told her how upset I am and asked why she didn't phone to check it would be ok. Friends mum was very apologetic apparently dd and friend had told the mum that I had said it was ok . Anyway I guess I will just have to get over it, dd is happy and it does look nice. I just can't believe she took a 7 year olds word and didn't check with me.

Lesson learnt for haircut mum then and I hope you have told your dd off for fibbing too

Glad to hear she likes her hairstyle though. It could have ended with her being upset so that is a relief at least

Still sounds odd when I have had kids over they usually disappear and play not " Do you want your hair cut" [which would be crazy for me as I am crap at cutting butter] but you know what I mean.
Seeker just wondering as you have experience of older ones I am now at the thinking that maybe I need to let go and when does this happen, when do you become laid back ??

Yes, that is weird. She bloody KNEW if you ask me.

mmm did you say no to her asking, or yes and never arranged it? Thinking of when my DC were 7 they were more interested in playing with the new toys at the friends house and would not give a hoot for their hair. Ans always go to door with child chit chat about what they eaten, what done etc ...

Oh what?!

Your dd said you would be ok with it, so she went ahead? That's all the confirmation she needed then?

What a dumbass!

I would be fucking furious. Wtf was she thinking? I know many have said its on,y hair but that's not the point. How dare she.

I cant believe she took the word of a 7 year old. What a bloody stupid woman.

Btw, I did a model shoot when I was about 3 or 4, the hairdresser there asked me if mummy would mind if they cut my hair, I said no, they only took a few inches off but it was all my curls - mum went mad, probably out an end to any modelling carreer (grin)

YABU 7 is old enough to decide how long you want your hair, it sounds to me that your dd was desperate to have her hair cut and was prepared to be pretty sneaky to get it!!!

My dd is 6yo and has a short bob (just below her ears) at her request, i was slightly when she requested this haircut but it suits her and at the end of the day it is up to her how she has her hair.

The problem of course now is you'll never trust that Mum again. Next time your dd goes there will she come back with pierced ears because she said you'd allow it?

It seems an odd thing to do, to cut a child's hair so drastically without parental knowledge or consent. But she has apologised - it would be a shame to let a friendship end because of this.

I cut someone's bum length hair into a bob when we were 11 (at her request). Her mumhit the roof and complained to the school. Headteacher told me not to worry and that it was a pretty good cut considering I was not a hairdresser. She also asked me to remember in future that I was not a hairdresser.

I wouldn't be too happy with my DD lying to a friends mum.

Gosh what a story!

Although I expect a bob is much easier for Gymnastics. It must have been quite hard for her to do it with bum length hair. Even if it was tied up on her head it must have been bloody difficult doing a forward roll.