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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious about dd's hair cut?

481 replies

Hockacholic · 08/05/2012 10:22

7 year old dd went to play at a friends house yesterday. Dd had long bum length hair but when she got dropped home friends mum (a hairdresser) had cut dd's hair into a shoulder length bob! I didn't see the mum as she just dropped dd at the door and she came in on her own. I am so upset dd had never had her hair cut it was lovely, I know I can't do any thing about it now and dd is happy with her new hair style. AIBU to think friends mum should have spoken to me about this first?

OP posts:
whomovedmychocolate · 08/05/2012 17:11

I would be fucking fuming OP.

pictish · 08/05/2012 17:12

Yes, so do I.

I am quite taken aback by some people's 'so what?' type of answers!
It's not about the hair, it's about the cheek!!

Ample · 08/05/2012 17:15
Shock Could the friends mum not pick up a phone and ask you first?! It would make me wary what else they could ask for next time around (and friend's mum would simply agree to) To just drop your dd at home without speaking to you... She's only 7.

Some people really do live life in their own little bubble.

YADDNBU

usualsuspect · 08/05/2012 17:15

Don't you think its odd that the OP never phoned the phantom hairdresser straight away though?

I would have

sheeplikessleep · 08/05/2012 17:22

YANBU.
This isn't about the cut.
Why didn't she call you to ask and explain that your daughter is asking, can she or not?

She has totally taken a liberty to have left you out of the loop on this. And then not to even mention it.

Most people in their right minds would not have done this.

I too am an anti-confrontation person, but seriously, I'd be livid. There's something that's quite personal about cutting bum length hair to a bob, without any checking, it beggars belief!! It's not like they just put a bit of make up on or something.

5madthings · 08/05/2012 17:34

i would have gone ape shit, not because i would be bothered by my dd having her hair cut, if she wanted it short i would let her have it short but I would take her and get it cut, i dont expect to send my child round to a friends and them come back having it done.

and IF there was an incident at my house involving scissors and a child then needed a hair cut i would still phone the parent first, apologise profusely and offer to pair for said hair cut once the parent had arranged it!

mumtolawyer · 08/05/2012 17:36

Although it clearly isn't the case here, what if the DD whose hair was cut had been a Sikh, where (I think) there are religious reasons for not cutting hair? And how would a not-terribly close friend necessarily know that the DD was NOT Sikh (or other religion where cutting hair is an issue)?

WorraLiberty · 08/05/2012 17:36

I think the OP should invite the hairdresser's child to play and then open the door wielding a set of clippers Grin

ll31 · 08/05/2012 17:40

Think it betrays an absolute lack of respect from other mother towards you as parent. Also I'd honestly tell everyone in yard... Think its very bizarre behaviour ..

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 08/05/2012 17:46

I dont see many posters here saying that its OK, rather that it doesnt deserve such fury.

alistron1 · 08/05/2012 17:47

I think it depends on hair type too. Dd1 has very curly hair. Any shorter than mid back and it would look like a big triangle. At 7 she wasn't wise to the ways of the curl and if someone had cut her hair off I would have been furious. She has bum length ringlets and they do not look scraggy. So there bob nazi's ;)

belgo · 08/05/2012 18:14

OP I wonder if your dd said that you wouldn't mind?

5madthings · 08/05/2012 18:21

kids SAY lots of things, i am sure my kids will tell people that i have said its fine they eat chocolate for dinner everyday, you dont believe everything they say and in the case of something like this you CHECK with the parent, you dont just cut their hair on the kids word that is ok with their parents, esp not a 7 yr old!

claudedebussy · 08/05/2012 18:27

my dd is 6 so a bit more immature, but i think if she were at a friend's she'd be anxious to please and so might say she wants a haircut when in actual fact she isn't sure. i try to give her time to allow her to change her mind, which she does frequently.

i would be very fucking annoyed if someone did this. very fucking annoyed indeed.

LineRunner · 08/05/2012 18:36

Unbelievable.

seeker · 08/05/2012 18:38

It's hair! one of the features of hair is that it grows! And it's somebody else's hair at that.

Yes, she should have rung you. But in the great scheme of things, does it really, really matter? Particularly if the child likes it and it's a good cut.

LynetteScavo · 08/05/2012 18:43

OP, you need to stay calm, invite the hairdressers daughter to tea, and cut her hair.

See how her mother likes that!

(I'm not feeling very mature today)

outtolunchagain · 08/05/2012 18:48

I would be livid ,the thing is hair is attached to you ,your child 's hair is part of your child .I know it regrows etc but the thought of someone cutting my child's hair without my consent is just horrible and very intrusive

Spuddybean · 08/05/2012 18:57

This has made me so irrationally cross. I am astonished anyone would do this. It's totally different from letting your DD choose her hair style (which i more or less agree with within reason - i also hate it when children have really long hair) and going to the hair dressers together. This is someone else unilaterally deciding to do something to your child without permission.

My sisters kids have awful scraggly arse length hair and i think she would actually do violence if someone cut it!

Fuck calling a solicitor, i think i would be calling a hit man! Wink

IslaValargeone · 08/05/2012 18:57

I hate this 'in the grand scheme of things' shit. No it's not world poverty or global warming but at what level do we draw the line at not getting annoyed at what is a completely unacceptable action by someone?

seeker · 08/05/2012 18:59

Ok. So at what age are you allowed to make your own decisions about our hair? I think that's my take on this. I really don't see why a 7 year old shouldn't be able to make this decision, and live with the consequences.

Greatdomestic · 08/05/2012 18:59

Any update OP?

LynetteScavo · 08/05/2012 19:08

Well I don't let my 13 yo choose his own hairstyle. (control freaky mother)

Mealiepudding · 08/05/2012 19:08

I can't believe all the fury here.

Solicitors? Press? Jeez.

I think your daughter really wanted her hair cut but knew you probably wouldn't allow it.

You got a free haircut and your daughter likes it. Great result.

imnotmymum · 08/05/2012 19:15

seeker I agree but not behind my back !