Would you be offended by a father accompanying his small daughters into the ladies toilet?

[NickECave]

I have two dds aged 4 and 2. My dh often takes them out and about in town on his own and inevitably needs to take them into public toilets. The thing is that male public toilets are often extremely dirty and unsanitary and I'd much rather he took them into the ladies. My question is would you be offended by a man coming into the ladies toilet when he is obviously accompanying a small girl? I don't personally know anyone who would have a problem with this but would be interesting to see if lots of people disagree with me.

Worra but there are loads of parents with small children around and if they all did this the people with disabilities would.never get in to the toilet so that's why you just shouldn't do it

As I said, "As long as disabled people are given priority"

Notthefullshilling well said

McHappyPants2012 ( in jest ) I can assure you that men in the gents keep themselves very much to themselves.

Worra sorry if we are not entirely on the same wavelength. We might both be being just a bit blinkered here. I understand what you say and acknowledge the difference between baby changing and small, even medium sized children up to what 6 / 7 / 8. The point is still the same We accept that if you need the loo and all the loos are taken you need to wait. I accept that if other disable people are in the disabled loo. What though if you need the loo and find out that are all being used by people who want to sit in their own space making a phone call forcing you to get more desperate. Not a perfect analogy I know but the sense of injustice is something I think you would appreciate.

I wouldn't like it I've got to be honest. And I can't see my DH ever wanting to do it, he'd go to the baby change or the mens. In the case of our dd he'd stand by the ladies dorr and send her in by herself but then she's 7 nearly 8.

My dad was a single parent until I was about 5 and would always take me to the ladies if I needed the toilet. Lots of places didn't have unisex childrens facilities then so he had no choice!!! If there's no separate baby change/parent facilities I wouldn't even bat an eyelid at a man in the ladies with his young daughter! Lots of loos have male cleaners anyway!

or you have the men's toilets - in which a child of a perfectly acceptable age to use the facilities may see men washing their hands, and men with their back to them weeing into urinals, and cubicle doors - then they will go into the cubicle and use the toilet - both child and the 'smelly' adult male. Child sees willy.

and you have the women's toilets - in which an adult male of an unacceptable age to use the facilities may see a twelve year old girl buying sanitary protection, an elderly lady upset by his presence, a woman with the door propped to keep an eye on her children, a young girl having a wee in full view as she is scared to lock the door and she can't reach to hold it shut. Then they will go into the cubicle and use the toilet - both child and the 'smelly' adult male. Child sees willy.

They may have male cleaners but if they do then they put a sign up outside informing people there is a male cleaner in then they can decide for themselves if they go in so the two aren't comparable.

I have cleaned toilets in the past and I can say that the men's were cleaner than the women's. I think men's loos can smell more, probably due to stale pee on the floor where they have missed the bowl, but this doesn't mean they are dirtier.

Agree with Worra on the disabled loo issue.

Yes I would. And being a caah I'd probably pass comment too.

Why not campaign to have clean male toilets?

Are men not capable of having hygeinic toilets?

I think that this goes hand in hand with men thinking that it is acceptable to be doing up their fly, coming out of the door and weeing in the street etc.

Perhaps this is something that will change now that men are carryout caring for children more and more.

Why is it that once again women/girls have to accept change?

Actualy and here is the real twist I had to use the "wrong" sex loos on Saturday as in order to get to the disabled loo from the level I was on in an old building was going to take far to long and involve countless numbers of staff to help me. Not common I know but I am far more annoyed at that lack of thought than children in disabled loos, others up thread have said that it is space and money that prevent good quality facilities. How about mumsnet start a campaign that will help everyone not just the rad fems.

Because no means no only helps the rad fems

'mens toilets in general have uranals and wouldn't want dd seeing other men gentitals at such a young age'

Really???

Yes. Rape is only of concern to radical feminists. Didn't you know?

In terms of not seeing anything - I have over the years seen various mums exposed as their young dc decides to open the toilet door when their mum is sat on the loo. Its not that rare a thing for a young dc taken into a cubicle with their mum to decide to open the door at a crucial moment.

narkedpuffin - I didn't know that. Foolishly I thought all women would be concerned about rape

But unless mumsnet have the ability to make places bigger and with more funds I doubt that much can be achieved by a campaign of that nature.

This thread has already shown that the clean/unclean issue isn't really a male v female thing either. Some places just have better facilities than others and if it's somewhere you go a lot then you can make sure you know where to head and force your dc to try and wee as you pass if it's somewhere new then you just have to hover then complain to the management in the vain hope something will be done.

what campaign was for the rad fems?

No. All other women are too concerned about cleaning products and knitting to have time for such things. Fact.

Excellent name BTW.

Haha kitty I wouldn't know since I live in the highlands :o our local debenhams have them which is where I saw it. There are others in family friendly cafes too but they tend to be the only toilet in the place. I think they tend to be in department stores.

I think we have had separate toilets for women and men for so long that it just feels socially unacceptable and wrong to see a man in the ladies. I don't like it myself, but I don't think there are any really good reasons why a man can't accompany his children into the ladies.

The Debenhams inside the Silverburn shopping centre in Glasgow has family toilets. I think this is an excellent idea and prevents any of the above problems.
My ex had some problems when DD was a baby as in quite a lot of places the baby changing was in the ladies only. He is quite shy.

Couldn't care less. Never really seen the point of segregated toilets anyway if you take urinals out of the equation. It's not like you leave the cubicle still hitching your pants up.