Would you be offended by a father accompanying his small daughters into the ladies toilet?

[NickECave]

I have two dds aged 4 and 2. My dh often takes them out and about in town on his own and inevitably needs to take them into public toilets. The thing is that male public toilets are often extremely dirty and unsanitary and I'd much rather he took them into the ladies. My question is would you be offended by a man coming into the ladies toilet when he is obviously accompanying a small girl? I don't personally know anyone who would have a problem with this but would be interesting to see if lots of people disagree with me.

ABatInBunkFive PUBLIC FEMALE toilet - two females aged 2 and 4 were using the facilities and are too young to do so unaccompanied. Two young girls should NOT be in a gents toilet. As far as I am concerned, the use of the toilet takes place within a private cubical. I am fine with a male parent being in the rest of the room. Not entitled; sensible.

saintlyjimjams This thread has opened my eyes with regard to huffiness.

I always wonder too why there is only ever one disabled toilet? When in ordinary toilets there are more. Obviously I know disabled toilets are much larger, but why can't they put in two or three?

Two young girls should NOT be in a gents toilet

Why? They won't know the difference especially if they're in a cubicle.

Children can go in either, but grown adults should not be in the opposite sex's toilet.

I don't understand why toilets are seperated by sex now anyway. Let's face it, is there any actual NEED for a urinal? I'd be happy if public toilets were mixed sex. It's not as if you'd see anything indecent so what is the actual point to the segregation?

To answer the original question, I'd instinctively be like WTF if a man walked into the ladies for any reason. That is because you just don't expect to see a male in the female bathroom or vice / versa and this was the thought that led to my above thought on why we split the sexes up at all.

SqueakyToy - the teenage girl who might be mortified at finding a man next to her at the washbasins wouldn't be upset/embarrassed because she was washing her hands next to a man but because the fact he's there washing his hands at the same time as her means he was there whilst she used the loo and might have heard her. As a teenager, that would have upset me a lot.

Whoopydo - yes, if a disabled person is using the disabled loo, and another disabled person arrives to use it, the second person has to wait, just the same as they would have had to wait if it were an able-bodied person using the loo. The big difference is that the first disabled person would be using the ONLY loo that was accessible to them, whereas the able-bodied mum could probably have used the ladies' loos (with a bit of effort and ingenuity).

So a man shouldn't go into a ladies as it offends some women. Ok. But young girls can go into a gents even though it offends some women because they are not allowed a point of view. Oh?

Whoopydo well why would I have a problem with you using the disabled toilet when you were temporarily disabled, your arguments are getting a bit silly now

Next time I see a parent with pram and children in tow using the disabled toilet I shall tell then to use their ingenuity and go elsewhere

I know what the answer would be - FFS I bit of understanding on all sides please and common sense !

Never mind a traumatised DD seeing strange mens willies

PMSL at all the posters talking about how traumatising it is for little girls to see willies! At the most little girls would probably think it was hilarious if they actually were to see anything. In reality, I've never seen a man's penis when in communal toilets with urinals or the like as they generally have their back to you!

Can't see how it's any different to small boys being in women's changing rooms when we're all getting stark naked in front of them even if they did see anything. Women have to put up with that, so I fail to see why men can't go about their business without getting precious about it. They're small kids for heaven's sakes.

Eggrules oh yes huffiness knows no bounds

When we are forced to use the female toilets with ds1 I tend to shout as we go in 'come on then ds1 the disabled toilet is full so we have to use the ladies' (Ds1 doesn't look disabled to complicate matters). On a good day he'll start making strange noises to help the general public understand why we are there.

Last time I sent him into the mens with 10 year old ds2 he came out naked (it was at a swimming pool) which ds2 following saying 'I tried to stop him'. So actually the female toilets with me if the disabled toilet is full is a better option really than the mens with ds2 but then people get huffy.

Rock. Hard place.

But young girls can go into a gents even though it offends some women because they are not allowed a point of view. Oh?

What? This makes no sense whatsoever.

I wouldn't expect to see a grown man in a ladies changing room with his small girls. How is this different?

Two very young girls may way have to use a dirty cubical in a men's public toilet. To do so they would need to walk past men using urinals. Much better that they use facilities for females accompanied by their father imho.

I have a boy. If my DH was out with our nieces, I would rather he took them into the Ladies.

A mother with a new born in buggy and a toddler in tow needs all the help she can get when going to toilet and if going into disabled toilet makes it easier for her then all well and good.

Going into the disabled toilet made it easier for me when I had the knee op but with a bit of 'effort and ingenuity' I may have managed in the ladies but choose not too.

It would not bother me in the slightest, preferable than him taking her into the mens with the open often disgusting and filthy urinals.

DH refuses to take DD into the ladies loos, he either takes her into the disabled loo or occasionally the mens, armed with baby wipes and tissues to 'pre clean' the loo seat. Luckily our local shopping centre has a baby changing room with a child's toilet cubicle in there, more shopping centres should try and accommodate that imo.

PMSL at all the posters talking about how traumatising it is for little girls to see willies

Exactly. Why would it traumatise a small child? Does it traumatise them if they see dad's willy?

Maybe men should stop being such filthy bastards in their toilets then?

I do not think grown men should be in a ladies toilet. It's wrong.

Saintly..DD NEVER makes noises when I want her to, she sits very nicely when we sit on the priority seats on buses leading to snarky comments from old ladies, until they see me almost hving to carry her off the bus when she won't get up

may well

Since having my DS, most of the changing rooms are family/unisex and there is no public nudity. Plenty of nudity at home

I have never been in a gent's toilet.

i dont get the issue of mums with babies/toddlers NEEDING to use the disabled loo, you dont have to i have said earlier in the thread what i always did which was park the pushchair outside the cubicle with baby strapped in safely, or use a sling, take toddler in with you, having a pushchair and a baby/toddler can be a pita at times but it is not a disability or a medical problem therefore you dont need to use the disabled toilets!!! fair enough IF the nappy changing facilities are in there and you are changing a baby, but to just go to the toilet NO. and yes it is harder than using the disabled toilet, but the reality it is you CAN use the regular toilets some people CANT.

How much longer will the queue for the ladies be if men start using it as well?

There is a massive difference between relaxed nudity at home and in a public toilet.

ON the subject of disabled toilets if people who didn't need to use them left the damn things alone then they wouldn't have to be locked and disabled people wouldn't need to have the hassle of carrying a radar key / crossing their legs until it's unlocked.

My niece uses a disabled toilet because of her epilepsy, simply because if she has a seizure there is more room to manoeuvre her, she also needs someone to go into the toilet with her, because if she locks it, it could be dangerous. On Sunday we all stopped off at a service station, dniece was desperate for the the toilet, the disabled one was locked and my sis had forgotten her key, as she was so desperate sis and 13 year old niece dived into a normal cubicle, niece had her pee and stood up, as she did she flew forwards, having a massive seizure so her mum had to try and hold her up whilst trying to get the door open as obviously it can be dangerous putting the body through that whilst in an awkward, hunched position. Luckily we managed to get her lying down in the recovery position.

Had she been able to access the toilet she needs a lot of that distress could have been avoided, if people who didn't need to use the bloody toilets left them alone they would not need to be locked. Disabled people usually have only one toilet in each building ffs, find an alternative.

Some people are pathetic, really they are.

Whoopy, that bit about the mother, is the very definition of entitled.

Come on, to use the ladies in some places you would have to wake up a newborn baby, put your pram down, carry the baby and the pram (not strictly necessary but depends on location and likelyhood of it being pinched) and your bag up a flight of stairs wee or poo holding the baby in a cubicle with you. Its possible, but if there is a disabled toilet doubled up as a nappy changing unit downstairs does it really make you a massive entitled disgusting person to use it? especially if you have looked around and cannot see hardly anyone in the cafe/shop whereever you are?

If your kids can walk, and are not the type to have a breakdown if they see a willy or fanny, then of course get up the stairs and use the ladies.

Oh it's ok Jins if the queue is to big you can always used the disabled toilet.

Me i'll go to the mens cos no fucker wants to use them.