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Original poster

Would you be offended by a father accompanying his small daughters into the ladies toilet?

999 replies

NickECave · 07/05/2012 11:20

I have two dds aged 4 and 2. My dh often takes them out and about in town on his own and inevitably needs to take them into public toilets. The thing is that male public toilets are often extremely dirty and unsanitary and I'd much rather he took them into the ladies. My question is would you be offended by a man coming into the ladies toilet when he is obviously accompanying a small girl? I don't personally know anyone who would have a problem with this but would be interesting to see if lots of people disagree with me.

OP posts:
bejeezus · 07/05/2012 23:22

squeaky no, I don't think men in the men's toilet would feel uncomfortable about a small child in there, in the same way a woman would feel uncomfortable with an adult male in the ladies toilet. They won't feel threatened/intimidated/panicked etc by small female child

mrbojangles I am ad certain as I can be that small female childs are not traumatised by going in gents toilets-they don't see the willies. I did it, my dds do it, I thought everyone did it that way
Once a girl is what? 4 or 5 they will be going into the ladies with daft waiting outside...
It is not about the witnessing of bodily functions etc, it is the male presence in a female space

QuintessentialShadows · 07/05/2012 23:23

I am not suggesting that the dad would have a pee in front of his daughter, but that she might see something on the way to a cubicle.

Women usually wee in cubicles, there is no communal weeing area for women. Are we so prudish that we cant have a man in the vicinity when washing our hands? And a man accompanying a young girl, at that?

TheFallenMadonna · 07/05/2012 23:23

I think people are claiming it for the sake of the child rather than the man seeker. Not sure why.

DH took DD into the gents frequently and only once apparently did she make an embarrassing comment, which is actually rather fewer times than she has in the ladies. Probably because her comments tended to be related to pooing, and in the gents she was the one in the cubicle...

seeker · 07/05/2012 23:24

As I said, let's do our "women's work" of making life easier for men. That's what we're here for, after all!

bejeezus · 07/05/2012 23:25

With dad waiting outside, not daft!

iscream · 07/05/2012 23:26

I wouldn't like it. He could perhaps try and learn what places have family bathrooms.
He can also ask a female staff member of wherever he is to go into the ladies room first and make sure it is empty, so he could bring the girls in.
I do not expect to, not want to see a man in the ladies room.

winnybella · 07/05/2012 23:26

But how is it easier for a man with a child to use women's loo? It's nicer for a child, that's all.

QuintessentialShadows · 07/05/2012 23:26

No, I think it is making it easier for the little girl if her father can take her to the ladies.

Having said that, I am in total favour of Genderless parents toilets where parents can take their children, whatever gender.

Where are dads supposed to take their daughters? It is either taking a little girls to Gents, or being in the "wrong" toilet, or in the disabled loo.

squeakytoy · 07/05/2012 23:26

I have been in plenty of toilets in service stations, railway stations and in airports where there have been male cleaners going about their duty, and it doesnt offend me.

I dont sit there with the door open.

MushroomGeorge · 07/05/2012 23:29

Fourlotsoftrouble are any of your children disabled?

bejeezus · 07/05/2012 23:35

The little girl won't find one toilet any easier than another toilet
I have no clue, how this even came up as a subject. For all the posters saying the woman who would object, should get over themselves; I think actually parents how think small girls shouldn't go with their father into the men's toilets, should stop being so precious and ridiculous

squeaky I'm really really pleased that you wouldn't find it uncomfortable. Some women aren't so lucky

bejeezus · 07/05/2012 23:40

Thinking about it, I don't know ANY men who wouldeven think of taking their dds into the ladies

What man would actually do that? Are there any?

MissCeliaFoote · 07/05/2012 23:46

Er, why would it be weird for a dad to have a pee in front of his daughter? Gosh, some people are far more prudish than I realised...

BackforGood · 07/05/2012 23:46

I don't mind make cleaners, because they are supposed to be in there. 'Customers' (for want of a better word) are supposed to use the gender specific ones though, so I would feel uncomfortable if a random man appeared in the ladies toilets, yes.
That said, I can't imagine any man I know who would actually want to do this.

If he regularly takes them out and about in town though, then surely by now he would have found out where the better toilets are, and steer them towards these if need be.

seeker · 07/05/2012 23:47

I just asked my dp if he would and he looked at me as if I was insane.

QuintessentialShadows · 07/05/2012 23:54

Well then seeker I guess you are lucky, neither you nor no other women will have their heebie jeebies frightened off them for seeing your hubbie in the washing area. Grin

iscream · 07/05/2012 23:59

If a father called into the bathroom "Would it be ok if I brought my daughters in to use the bathroom", then anyone inside has the option of calling back "Just give me a minute", or "Ok". Could your husband try doing that? I think it is the best option, better than just strolling in.

I have nothing against men, but I would be embarrassed to be in a cubicle and having a man in the room...I am modest, and close the bathroom door at home, (we all do) and don't use a toilet around my husband, or even pee in front of other woman.

I would gladly bring in a little girl for a father, but I realize I am a stranger and just because I am female does not mean I am safe.

seeker · 07/05/2012 23:59

Why are you so determined that womenare being unreasonable here? Just because they want to go to a women's loo and not have men in it?

jumpingship · 08/05/2012 00:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foreverondiet · 08/05/2012 00:00

I personally wouldn't mind but would your DH be happy with this - my DH would not be agree to this. DD big enough to go on her own now (aged 8) but when she was littler he'd take her into the mens and generally try an avoid urinal area, ie head straight for cubicles. Obviously if we are together he takes DS1 and I take DD and either of us takes DS2 (aged 2) and still in nappies. DS1 only 6 so he still comes into ladies with me if DH not around.

But wonder whether older woman might not like?

mythical · 08/05/2012 00:03

I wouldn't mind either but DH just wouldn't do it. i have asked him!

foreverondiet · 08/05/2012 00:03

Also I just thought, sometimes I need to go with the door open if I have DS2 asleep in the buggy - obviously if he is awake would take him into the cubicle with me, or if DD was there she could watch him and call me if anything looked funny but if he is asleep wouldn't want to leave him out of sight..... so go with door open a bit to keep eye on him so maybe men in bathrooms not a good idea.

outyougo · 08/05/2012 00:04

How are accompanied children any more 'unsafe' in a women's toilets than a mans? If it is because men a statistically more of a threat then won't that element of safety in a woman's toilet be removed if it becomes normal for men to be able to walk in unchallenged.

QuintessentialShadows · 08/05/2012 00:07

Men with their young daughters in the ladies loo is not such a regular occurrence though, is it?

I have never met one!

outyougo · 08/05/2012 00:16

That should be the other way around. I think. I am very tired.

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