Would you be offended by a father accompanying his small daughters into the ladies toilet?

[NickECave]

I have two dds aged 4 and 2. My dh often takes them out and about in town on his own and inevitably needs to take them into public toilets. The thing is that male public toilets are often extremely dirty and unsanitary and I'd much rather he took them into the ladies. My question is would you be offended by a man coming into the ladies toilet when he is obviously accompanying a small girl? I don't personally know anyone who would have a problem with this but would be interesting to see if lots of people disagree with me.

Nothingold righto - I'm sure you're right - benefit of the doubt then. I have read the post again and still think it was unreasonable but maybe that is what Unmember was getting at - I think I have chipped in enough now anyway, so I'll stroll on.

*should NOT go throwing around. Doh!

So women can get in a tizz about a man standing outside the cubicles?

and yet why shouldn't the men be offended at the thought of 4 and 5 year old girls looking at them?

If it was reversed and I was standing doing my bodily functions in broad daylight I don't want a strange child checking me out.

Unmember I am definitely not entitled. Maybe I got hold of the wrong end of the stick of your post - maybe I didn't. If you were merely saying a child is a choice of course you are right. It seemed, however, you were saying ladies with children should never use a disabled loo regardless of situation and that not having had the child would be better. If that isn't what you meant - fine, glad to have that cleared up.

Where are these mythical crèches that we can leave babies in any time we need to go out somewhere and might need the toilet?

Disabled people can have a Radar key to open special disabled toilets.

never used a creche, either take baby in a sling or leave them strapped in pushchair right outside the cubicle :)

It wouldn't bother me TBH.

In my local town we have just had a new secondary school built with unsiex toilets and are having a sixth form college built with the same. Perhaps shopping centres might start to follow suit.

WRT the disabled toilet thing, it really riles me that people think they can use them because they are quick, or they have a pram, etc. Most disabled toilets have a sign on them saying "disabled" not "accessible" so they are for the needs of the disabled. I am disabled and have had to wait while parents and their DC have used the disabled toilet because they think they are quick and they don't see anyone waiting before they go in! I fortunately can queue and can wait, but many can't. It is so selfish to use that one toilet when there are several more that you have available to you.

"Disabled people can have a Radar key to open special disabled toilets."

Yes, they can. But not all disabled toilets are locked in the first place.

I really don't see the big deal when all he would see of the other women using the facilities is them washing their hands! What is wrong with people?! In France you often have to walk through one to get to the other. None of my French friends are in therapy due to the trauma as far as I know

I understand that some toilets are bigger than others - around here ladies toilets are not large enough to leave the buggy outside while you go into a cubicle. A friend did this and came out to find someone had moved her pushchair containing baby out the door of the ladies because it was holding up the queue. So in some circumstances (esp. in the weeks after giving birth when I physically couldn't wiat in a queue without having an accident) newborn and pram there is no feasible option other than to use the disabled toilet.

However I never use the disabled toilet when there is a family toilet or cubicle with room for buggy in the ladies. I think family loos are fab and very much needed in all stores with toilet facilities.

Why's it so hard?

I am female, I have 4 boys.

I will take ds3 into a disabled loo and not worry a bit

as he is

disabled.

He doesn't look it but has ASD and tends to lick toilets and anything else he can find so needs 1-1 and at almost 9 is a bit old for the ladies thing (we still do it sometimes).

I have never had to use the disabled toilet with a toddler or child though for any reason other than disability. Well, unless the changing mat was there, in which case it's not a true disabled toilet but a disabled toilet AND mother and baby room and a whole different thing.

By the time they get to be old enough they can;t go to a ladies loo they can either access disabled if they need the help or the men's.

And I would never bother about a man and dd in a ladies either;

I am presuming anyone who has a child has a sufficient knowledge of biology not to faint if I open a tampon behind a locked door.

But teh best toilets I know of simply have 4 cubicles and a disbaled toilet- all unisex. Simple.

I often use disabled toilets as I feel mums with babies in prams are not catered for in some toilets, some are just too small to take a pram into & if you do get in i would never leave my baby outside the cubicle ive had to use end one before now & leave door ajar, with a young baby that needs holding using the disabled toilet means you can take pram in.

Naughty- ah the4re lies the other great MN disabled toilet qiuestion!

IMO disabled wrt to a toilet does not mean claimant of DLA or any form of registration!

It means needs the toilet for medical reasons.

IBS, Crohns, post natal continence issues, all count.

You'd have to be a bit of a twit to NOT count someone who physically would have an accident as disabled in the toilet context tbh.

I used a disabled toilet when PG as I had SPD and genuinely thought I might get stuck- did a few times sitting down, needed the extra space to manoevre my way out. That's also OK imo. I used the disabled lift too at uni, and was encouraged too by the disability community as it was a physical need.

With bugges may I suggest utilising trolleys, laying baby on a coat on the floor and then it gets easier? And toddlers just require the quick dash method as they are easy to get in but tend to unlock doors!

Posted before finished which leads me on to say I really don't think men in ladies toilets is a good idea I personally wouldn't like it, we have 2 girls & my dh has taken them out on many an occasion & managed with the disabled toilet he would never dream of going into ladies or gents with them. I dont like the idea of shared toilets at all as men's toilet habits tend to be disgusting, I hate the likes of costa where there's one toilet for all.

Evening all
Everyone here is sticking to our talk guidelines, yes?
Thanks

I wouldn't like as if all the men with little kids went into the ladies and had a wee themselves at the same time it would soon be as gopping as the gents.

Take antibac gel and wash hand properly too I say.

Fourlotsoftrouble, surely you can see the difference between something being difficult, i.e. taking a baby/toddler to the toilet with you and something being impossible, being unable to physically access a toilet?
Your ability to access appropriate facilities may then be compromised by entitled parents of small children.

I do question whether men's toilets are so much worse than women's. In women's I find issues with blood and especially common, urine on the seat from the bloody hoverers. In unisex toilets the only issue I usually find is urine on the floor, which whilst not great, is better than accidentally sitting on urine.

At our local shopping centre they have parent and child toilets next to the mens, womens and disable access toilets. Only flaw is that they have been designed so badly that you can't get a pram in there and also close the door. The attendants always open the diabled toilets for people with prams. I would always always let someone with a disability/mobility problems/in more need than me use them first though.

Don't have a problem with men using the women's loo if they've got a small child with them. All they would see would be women going into/out of cubicles and washing their hands/doing makeup etc. Not as if there are open showers in there or anything?

I don't like the insinuations on this thread, that women who object to men in women's toilets, are being precious, or ridiculous or 'just looking for something to take offence at'

Some women feel vulnerable and have very valid reasons for not wanting men in the toilets

wouldn't bother me.

I agree beejezus

I am wondering what OPs DH is going to do if he needs a wee or a pool, whilst out with the kids? Will he also have to go in the ladies?

I see taking a small baby into a toilet without a pram as impossible how on earth are you souposed to go to the loo whilst holding a baby & as for laying on a coat on the floor, where talking about a baby not an animal. What is wrong with sharing the disabled toilet with others struggling in an impossible situation.