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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you be offended by a father accompanying his small daughters into the ladies toilet?

999 replies

NickECave · 07/05/2012 11:20

I have two dds aged 4 and 2. My dh often takes them out and about in town on his own and inevitably needs to take them into public toilets. The thing is that male public toilets are often extremely dirty and unsanitary and I'd much rather he took them into the ladies. My question is would you be offended by a man coming into the ladies toilet when he is obviously accompanying a small girl? I don't personally know anyone who would have a problem with this but would be interesting to see if lots of people disagree with me.

OP posts:
TheUnMember · 07/05/2012 17:51

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SeaHouses · 07/05/2012 17:52

I have never seen a man in the women's toilets. I've never seen women in the toilets have any kind of problem simply because they have a baby; they either take the baby out of the pushchair and into the cubicle or they leave them in the pushchair for a couple of minutes. I have also seen quite young children in the toilets without an adult.

Where all this toilet drama reported on here is going on, I do not know.

LaMeuf · 07/05/2012 17:53

unmember your list was entirely unreasonable, effectively you're saying that women with babies should not use disabled facilities even where that's the only place they could pee without losing sight of them as such women can chose not to go out (assuming no friend, family member or crèche (?)) available. If anyone said to you that you could chose not to go out you would be outraged and rightly so.

NakedButNotFamous · 07/05/2012 17:55

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

5madthings · 07/05/2012 17:55

have used public toilets with baby in sling many times and its fine, the same as going to the toilet at home wiht a baby in a sling, as long as you have a good sling its not a problem, i always used a moby wrap :)

and i have always nipped into the toilet and left baby/toddler in the pushchair just outside the cubicle if i have needed to, seriously what is the problem in that, or are we all terrified of baby snatchers lurking in every corner?

SauvignonBlanche · 07/05/2012 17:56

La Meuf,) please see SeaHouses sensible post above, it really isn't a big deal.

GinPalace · 07/05/2012 17:56

unmember a choice like not having children, as you suggested, like any reasonable person might suggest? Hmm

Or did you mean a more sensible choice? sitting on loo with door wide open? Suppose that is a choice, can't disagree with that, although in all the times I have had to use the disabled loo cos of the changing facilities - not once have I come out to find anyone other than fellow parents waiting, so I might choose that toilet rather than inflict my toileting on others on the basis it is the lesser of the two evils IME.

SauvignonBlanche · 07/05/2012 17:57

Or 5madthing's

SeaHouses · 07/05/2012 18:00

How would you know if somebody waiting outside the door of a disabled loo was disabled or not?

Floggingmolly · 07/05/2012 18:00

Wouldn't bother me in the least. I'd prefer it to dh taking dd into the mens.

TheUnMember · 07/05/2012 18:02

LaMeuf you may not like the choices, but you still have them. Having a child is a choice. Disability is not a choice. Having a child is NOT a disability.

5madthings · 07/05/2012 18:03

you dont have to leave the door open you close and lock it as normal with baby/toddler, safely strapped into pram/pushchair just outside the cubicle or if you are anxious you can push the door so its almost shut and hold it like that with your foot, this is slightly harder depending on the size of the cubicle and how tall you are tho Grin

GinPalace · 07/05/2012 18:03

Unmember I said if you think suggesting a person should not have a child rather than use a toilet was reasonable that is a little deranged. I stand by that.

I have no idea what your cognitive abilities are but I do know you think I should not have a child rather than use a your toilet regardless of my circumstances - that is also pretty despicable.

I wasn't calling a cognitively impaired person deranged - I was saying the suggestion was.

GinPalace · 07/05/2012 18:05

FWIW I have only ever used the disabled loo when it was the baby changing facility.

LaMeuf · 07/05/2012 18:05

Seahorses by the same token how does unmember know whether someone is disabled or taking advantage or the disabled loos because they are 'easier'.

In any event, disabled-only loos already exist don't they? They have laser key operated ones in a couple of shopping centres I can think of. Surely the answer would be to make these more widely available?

sugarice · 07/05/2012 18:06

This thread has generated 19 pages since 11.20! Shock PS I wouldn't be bothered. YANBU.

ledkr · 07/05/2012 18:08

wouldnt bother me no.

bejeezus · 07/05/2012 18:08

I would mind

Why can't little girls go in men's toilet? Little boys do

DustyDen · 07/05/2012 18:09

I would feel really uncomfortable having a man in a women-only space. Then again, I'm speshul because I have PTSD.

SeaHouses · 07/05/2012 18:09

I don't know; the whole discussion seems so convoluted now.

If all disabled toilets had locks on them that operated with a card, people who weren't disabled wouldn't be able to use them.

And then what? According to your argument mothers would either not venture out of the house or the birth rate would plummet.

Or more likely, they would just use the ordinary toilets, as most other mothers alredy do.

SeaHouses · 07/05/2012 18:10

already, even! I think I'm perhaps confusing this further.

nothingoldcanstay · 07/05/2012 18:12

Gin - I think the suggestion about having a child was the "choice" element. I don't think the implication was disabled toilets were more or less than important then children. It was just having a child requires some decision making at all stages.

Having a disability is not a choice, hence keep their toilets free.

sparkle12mar08 · 07/05/2012 18:15

Offended no. Uncomfortable yes. I'd understand why he was doing it but wouldn't particularly like it.

RedHotPokers · 07/05/2012 18:16

This thread is hilarious! Am gosmacked how precious some of you are Shock!

For those of you worrying about all the willys hanging out in mens toilets, have you ever actually SEEN a man wee???? I think you'll find that the majority of men are discrete and you can't see anything really anyway. Unless you live in some area where mens penises have mutated to uncommonly large sizes, I think you can chill out and get the picture of rows of men waving their 12 inch willys around out of your minds!

Also, those of you worried about messy toilets - have you ever seen primary school toilets??? Lots of 'just' toilet trained little people rushing in and out with dubious hygiene not to mention wiping skills!

And you must be going to different womens toilets to me - every time I seem to be in a ladies toilet, there's always someone doing a huge shit (complete with sighing and straining) in the cubicle next to me.

Chill out people! If you're that worried about hygiene take seat wipes and wet wipes/soap with you.

TheUnMember · 07/05/2012 18:21

I have no idea what your cognitive abilities are but I do know you think I should not have a child rather than use a your toilet regardless of my circumstances - that is also pretty despicable.

You don't know what anybody's cognitive abilities are so you should go throwing around words aimed at insulting anyone's mental health.

As for you knowing what I think ... really? You know that that is what I was thinking do you? No you don't. Because I never said that about you. I never said that about anyone. I was merely pointing out that having a child is a CHOICE.