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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you be offended by a father accompanying his small daughters into the ladies toilet?

999 replies

NickECave · 07/05/2012 11:20

I have two dds aged 4 and 2. My dh often takes them out and about in town on his own and inevitably needs to take them into public toilets. The thing is that male public toilets are often extremely dirty and unsanitary and I'd much rather he took them into the ladies. My question is would you be offended by a man coming into the ladies toilet when he is obviously accompanying a small girl? I don't personally know anyone who would have a problem with this but would be interesting to see if lots of people disagree with me.

OP posts:

tittytittyhanghang · 07/05/2012 14:53

STDG can i ask how would you know if it was a parent and child or someone like my dm with her gs without asking though? I understand you would be upset, but are you saying you would be upset specifically at the person in the disabled toilet? Im not trying to minimise what you go through (ibs sufferer myself but not to that extreme) but have recently suffering from a prolapse which give me about 10 secs warning before i wet myself :( and although I would be upset if i had an accident I just dont think it would be justifiable to blame it on someone else using the toilet cubicle at the precise time i needed it.)

pumpkinsweetie · 07/05/2012 14:54

bobbledunk-not all women are nice and some maybe physcos just as some of the strange men out there!
I think your comments are rather sexist tbh as you seem to think just because you are amongst women you are safe
I cant see a problem with a man with kids taking his children to the toilet

doormat · 07/05/2012 14:56

how many of you have allowed your sons to piddle against a wall when they have been bursting and you havent had a dp/dh with you, to take them to the toilet???

bobbledunk · 07/05/2012 14:56

It's only the psycho's that want to go into the women's toilets, no normal man would.

pumpkinsweetie · 07/05/2012 14:58

Guess my dh is a physco then

doormat · 07/05/2012 14:58

bobbledunk...captain caveman is becoming obselite

RabidAnchovy · 07/05/2012 14:58

BobbleDunk, have you had a bad experience?
Because that is one hell of an over reaction and in a lot of places in France toilets are unisex

CaptainVonTrapp · 07/05/2012 14:58

Agree with bobbledunk it is disrespectful to the many women who would be upset by this behaviour. Just because you personally wouldn't doesn't mean there aren't many who would be. This thread does not represent a 'typical' cross section of women and regardless of the responses on here, I suspect many women would be unhappy at finding a man in the ladies toilets.

LadyBeagleEyes · 07/05/2012 15:00

It's a man and his two little daughters though.
Not some mad rapist.

CaptainVonTrapp · 07/05/2012 15:00

Obviously unisex toilets are a totally different matter Rabid and we would all fully expect to see men and women in there and decide accordingly whether or not to use them.

We're talking about the 'ladies' here - the clues in the name.

IAmBooyhoo · 07/05/2012 15:01

i'll be honest with you bobble I (female) dont particularly want to go into ladies' toilets. i dont particularly wnat to go in my own toilet at home. i go out of necessity. it's not that i lust after the sickly aroma of disenfectant present in public loos, it really is down to the fact that either i or my dcs needs to pee. i would rather never have to use a loo altogether but we aren't made that way so we do and sometimes teh people in charge of young girls are their father and sometimes those girls need to pee.

DioneTheDiabolist · 07/05/2012 15:01

Bobbledunk, I can't imagine any man with 2 small girls being beaten up, arrested or escorted from the premises for taking his daughters to the Ladies.

Are you normally like this or is it a temporary thing brought on by the supermoon?

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 07/05/2012 15:01

I think it is disrespectful to women as well. I happen to think women's feelings matter as well.

insancerre · 07/05/2012 15:01

what if the man was the cleaner, who was working there? Would that bother you?
That happens in plenty of places

WorraLiberty · 07/05/2012 15:02

It's only the psycho's that want to go into the women's toilets, no normal man would

Have you been brainwashed by someone or perhaps had an extremely awful experience to make you think that way?

Either way, it's one of the saddest things I've read.

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 07/05/2012 15:03

There are always signs to say there is a male cleaner. And in those cases women can choose whether to use the toilet or not. It is not the same

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 07/05/2012 15:04

worra really??? One of the saddest things you have read. I have read some really really sad things on MN and this isn't one of them

squeakytoy · 07/05/2012 15:04

I love it... only on mumsnet do we have people gaily changing tampons and mooncups in front of their kids, but the thought of a man in the same room as a ladies toilet and its "disgusting and unnecessary"... it is a toilet, nobody is lying there having a smear test done, and nobody is walking around naked.. what on earth does it matter if a man comes in with his daughter.. he is likely to be much more embarassed than anyone else.. and I doubt he is going to stand there and pee in the sink either!

RabidAnchovy · 07/05/2012 15:04

I still think it is a massive over reaction,

i was at a service station KFC the other week when a dad brought his tow little girls in to the toilets while I was in there, he went a bit red and said "sorry" i told him not to worry, its not a big deal, really it is not

doormat · 07/05/2012 15:05

what do you expect the man to do.

option 1....go in the gents with his little girls and maybe see a few men with their lobs hanging out at a stinking urinal

option2...go in the ladies and take his 2 daughters to relieve themselves

unfortunately we do not live in a society where a father can ask a kind looking lady to escort his daughters to the toilet, like it used to be...

ffs society has changed

lucyellensmumnamechange · 07/05/2012 15:06

Do people really care about this? I woudlnt have a problem with it at all, i can't imagine why anyone else has - madness

WorraLiberty · 07/05/2012 15:06

Yes, it's one of the saddest things I've read EatsBrains

It must be awful to live with that sort of OTT mistrust of fellow human beings just because they happen to be male.

To assume a Father must be abnormal or psychotic because he's taking his little daughter to use the toilet, is very sad imo.

IAmBooyhoo · 07/05/2012 15:06

er, i never thought i'd say this but i agree with squeaky. it must be the supermoon.

insancerre · 07/05/2012 15:07

maybe there should be three lots of toilets

men's
women's
pyscho's

what about transexuals though, which toilet should they use? If you look like a woman is it alreight to use the woman's loo? I guess it must be because nobody would be offended. If they used the men's, wouldn't all the men be offended that there was a woman in their loo?

BoffinMum · 07/05/2012 15:07

I can't imagine anyone caring a jot, they would just be pleased he is helping them.

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