To ask if you and your DH/DP have foreplay before PIV sex?

[Thistledew]

So many depressing comments come up on threads about women who have woken up to find their partner having sex with them to the effect that "well maybe he was confused, he could have thought you were happy to have sex with him whilst you were asleep/half asleep".

Do women who post these comments not see foreplay as part of having sex? For me and DP, sex always starts with kissing and even with the most passionate quicky, some sort of mutual squeezing/stroking/fondling of erogenous zones.

For me, there is no way that my DP could be confused as to whether I was consenting to sex or not. My lack of enthusiastic participation would be a real giveaway.

AIBU to think that there must be lots of women having pretty crap sex if they don't even expect kissing to start with?

Am I missing something or do some women have the ability to go from zero to turned on instantly? Or do you just have men with really small dicks so you don't need any sort of lubrication before they stick it in?

Why is this in any way man-bashing?

This isn't something all men routinely do. Sex with unconscious people isn't even something most men do.

'AIBU to think that there must be lots of women having pretty crap sex if they don't even expect kissing to start with?

Am I missing something or do some women have the ability to go from zero to turned on instantly? Or do you just have men with really small dicks so you don't need any sort of lubrication before they stick it in?'

I'm responding to this part.

What a strange thread

And Lol @ the 'small dicks' comment

I suppose large fannys don't enter into it?

I HATE the term penis In vagina sex. Why is it even necessary? Makes me pissed off whenever I see it, I am not even sure why...

I feel the same Melody, it just sounds so...I don't know childish??

I get a mental image of when we were kids and we'd make a circle between our thumb and forefinger and point a finger in and out

It's a little like describing eating as FIM (food in mouth).

Nemmy- if you are asleep how do you know he is?

I don't get. You would be bone dry. It must be painful for at least a while. I think yanbu op. women should expect more and sex should be between two consenting and conscious adults. We are expected to love piv because that is what gets men off but women have many different sexual zones that deserve a touching, the actual vagina being one of the least sensitive. This just reeks of selfish misogyny from the men involved.

Worra and Melody have just summed up how I feel about the term PIV. Thankfully I have never ever met anyone IRL who uses that term, which given how stabby it makes me it a good thing all round.

piv sounds like an infection.

Can we not just call it penetration or intercourse, like normal.

I am still at the term "digital sex" mentioned further back in the thread...

Do you have to be HD ready? Retuned? .. and what did the switchover entail...

I was on a thread about aural sex once :)

I'm quite looking forward to my retuning.

PIV is one out of loads of different sorts of sex. I can't think of any other sorts of eating except for putting food in your mouth.

I'd be happy to use another term rather than PIV if it meant the same and was equally specific. Does anybody know a better term?

We nobody describes eating as FIM (food in mouth)... so I do find the term PIV rather odd....

we - well

PIV is just sex isn't it?

penetration could be anal or oral. Intercourse is too non-specific. Merriam-Webster says it's 'physical sexual contact between individuals that involves the genitalia of at least one person'

squeaky I thought the same

These threads always make me laugh...I imagine the OP (not this particular one but any OP of this sort of thread) to look like Anne Hegerty from the Chase

It's like someone looks at the calendar and thinks, "Oh it's been a while. I'd better 'spread the word' and patronise these silly little women into thinking about their lives....'fight the good fight' and all that"

All we're missing at this point is the Facebook shares and the ensuing thread derailment

intercourse to non specific.. really?

Is PIV a feminist thing?

Krumbum can I ask where you get your information from? Have you had many lesbian relationships perhaps, to know what level of arousal women would be in. Or are you just speaking from your own experience and spreading that judgement across every female?

I don't really know if it's up to the op to make a judgement on what other people like as being good/crap sex. Some people like long foreplay and very little penetrative sex, while other people like 'rape' roleplay. That's pretty much completely a judgement that happens within the relationship and not what someone on a forum tells them they should or shouldn't like.

I could do with a list of approved things I can do with my DH.

It's shocking the amount of stuff I enjoy only to later find out is really wrong and I wasn't really enjoying it.

Thank god for these threads otherwise I would just carry on having a happy, healthy, enjoyable sex life without ever stopping to over think it or get in a froth about what other people are doing with their OHs.

sex, intercourse, a shag..... it is all "piv" to me.... if it was any different from the norm, then I would describe it as so, but to me sex means just that and doesnt require a technical abbreviation..

I wouldnt say to my husband, "darling, shall we have PIV sex tonight".... come to think of it, if I suggested digital sex he would probably wonder what the hell I was on about, and if I mentioned anal sex he would think all his christmas and birthdays had come at once.... not that it is ever going to happen!!!

I'm not sure why 'PIV' needs to be indicated, surely it's just 'sex', then any other kind has another word with it, anal sex, oral sex etc.

I would agree that sex usually has a least some kind of lead up to it, if not verbal agreement then some indication that both partners agree to it. One person just pouncing on another, especially if one is asleep and unable to consent seems wrong. Even quickies are mutual agreed upon. It doesn't necessarily have to involve the 'feathery stroking'.

"I HATE the term penis In vagina sex. Why is it even necessary"
"I'm not sure why 'PIV' needs to be indicated"

Because at one time rape had to include PIV, even for child offences, which does stem from very 'ist' attitudes.

Male rape which obviously cannot be VIP, wasn't treated as rape.

Lesbians also get a pissed off when what happens between them isn't counted as 'real' sex and this add to the idea that they aren't in a 'real' relationship, as it does for gay men.

Some women are always slightly 'damp'.