AIBU to think that parents of twins do not have it harder

[PizzaSlut]

I have 3 DC including 2 less than 2 years apart.

Twice in the last 2 days I have had parents of twins moaning about how hard it is to parent them and the financial cost. ones set are same as dd1 and the other are same as ds1.

Surely I have the same costs albeit not in the same financial year and surely dd2 and ds1 have similar needs at 7 and 5 as twins 2.

i have twins now 13yrs old

the first year i would say is deffo hard,as others state the bigger financial cost but to me it was the night feeds,one feeds then bum change settle then approx hr later the other wakes,IMHO impossible to get them to wake and feed at same time,truly exhausting

try feeding new born twins at the same time on your own

basically i would say physically very hard the first o-18mths no doubt but after that they are easier than a 2yr old and a newborn as they are roughly at the same development stage

so yes harder generally till there 18mths but once they can do more and become independent then its easier than a newborn and toddler IMHO

i also have 5YR old and hes a doodle i find compared to twins,i enjoy him more and am older and wiser even though im on my own with them

fussbucket Genius!! I love that idea! I've tried them on reins but they just hang off them like string puppets when they get fed up of walking. Tjis could be the way forward!!

'you cannot loaf on the sofa while newborn non moving baby plays on the mat '

I'm sure/hope you didn't mean it like this, but that reads like you think the parents of twins just loaf around instead of getting up and grafting hard like you do.

Pizzaslut I think what you have misunderstood is that your personal experience doesn't enable you to comment on whether twins are harder/easier than close singletons in general. If the thread title had been 'AIBU to think that someone I know who had an easy pregnancy, birth and delightfully easy going healthy twins does not have it harder than me' you might've had a point.

The first 12-18 months I definitely had it harder than friends who'd only had one first time round, then those friends started having next babies, and suddenly I was the one with a slightly easier life. Pizza please don't let it get you down, and everyone please don't start having a bunfight, we're all doing the best we can with what we've got.

Pizzaslut You chose to have a second child so close. Parents of twins just have to suck it up!!

How would it have been easier? The higher risk of miscarriage? The 50% risk of prematurity and the long term health problems that brings? The higher chance of polyhydramnios, PPH, gestational diabetes? Higher risk of hyperemesis gravidum because of all the extra HCG? The higher chance of stillbirth?

Bagofholly, read that I have 3 close together and the ratios for "hazardous" activities are the same problem for me especially with a child with SEN.

I don't think there is any point in getting into a who's life is harder argument. When twins are babies, I would imagine it is pretty hard. Just as having 4 kids with 3 under 3 was hard.

The only part I get a bit stroppy about is at our children's school, if anything is sold and you're a multiple, you get the other ones free. So you buy one child an annual photobook/tea towel/etc etc and the other multiple(s) get theirs free. However, if you have 3 children in different years like I do, you have to pay for them all to have one. That is a very crap policy, imo.

And that should say whose, not who's!! I'm aghast!!

I think you've lost this one.

Perhaps the particular parents of twins you know personally have it easier than you, but that is not the case in general. Health risks to multiples and their parents are much higher.

I'm sorry if you're finding things difficult- maybe start some threads outside AIBU where you can get support?

OK, should I have aborted my accidental pregnancy then. No one is suggesting that you should have had a selective reduciton, Shelley. I mentioned it earlier.

It was an option you could have taken.

I think the school thing is unusual, we have to pay double for everything. As for easier as it is just one pregnancy and birth, well twin pregnancy is very difficult and as has been said the risks are far far bigger. And I also had a normal birth and then a c section for twin 2 so I definatly gave birth twice!!

The same option that is available to multipe parents.

And I am anti abortion, all life is precious.

Hi Shelly yes the thing about reins is they do tend to dangle off them, and the bloody things are so short anyone over 5'2" gets backache holding them. The dogleads really came into their own when I wanted to walk to the shops and back and not be a nervous wreck, you CANNOT hold two hands simultaneously all the time. Also dd1 was a bit of a bolter, even now at age 13 she has the attention span of the average gnat and we still lose her in shops, zoos, museums etc. The difference is now we all have mobiles and can track her down. If she's remembered to (a) charge it and (b) bring it with her.

Is this a wind up?

I believe there are risks to the other foetus in that procedure though.

Pizzaslut Wow! Manipulative, self pitying. Yes, you've had it hardest love. Now go to bed happy.

I have just come to that conclusion too holy it is too OTT to be real, too many insults etc.

Which bit of let's not have a bunfight did you lot not read?

I think it's a wind up

my dopey friend said "oh i suppose its like having on and half babys" WTF no dear its two babys

blardy hell pizza does it really matter to you,does it effect your life,we all muddle through as best we can its not a olympic sport

This has got to be a joke, in very poor taste.

OP, put down the bottle and go to he'd before you become even more offensive and silly.